oh my god she's a woman hey
everybody
I'm miss cracker I'm called
that because
I'm thin and I'm very white
and I'm very
salty I've been doing drugs
for seven
years just like everyone in
America that
is doing makeup today I
learned from
YouTube a little bit I
learned from the
people around me and I just
brought it
all together to be my look
we're gonna
start with my favorite part
the
industrial-strength
chemicals I'm using
the alcohol to remove the
oil from my
oil-rich skin this is only
something you
should do if you don't care
about your
body next up I'm gonna pull
my face back
[Music]
better to look young than
anything else
so we are going to turn
back when I take
this duct tape and I'm
gonna lay the
foundation for a Ace
Hardware face lift
I'm also providing a solid
base for me
to pin my wig to later on
people are
like how do you keep the
duct tape from
pulling out your hair you
don't I would
say my face in drag is like
a drum
because it is taut and it
is beat girl
it's time to delete the boy
face that
you see before you so I
have a blank
canvas to make a lady upon
to hide my
eyebrows I start with some
basic
extra-strength Elmer's
school glue I
used the clear kind because
it's less
water-soluble it'll stay on
longer when
I'm sweating I'm taking a
lice comb and
combing my eyebrow directly
upward so
many of the products for
drag our
regular household products
there's a
saying in the drag world
that covergirl
does not cover boy and that
means you
cannot usually use lady
products to do a
drag queens job that's why
I'm using
this super strength ultra
opaque Kryolan
TV paint stick to cover my
face right
now I'm color correcting
the opposite
of blue on the color wheel
is orange by
beard is blue hashtag blue
beard now I'm
using airspun powder to set
my color
correction the eyebrows
when they're dry
they should just feel
bone-dry hard to
the touch if you have any
question about
there being moist don't go
in there just
leave them alone for a
minute and go in
here and cover up my visage
that's
French for face
alright I'm using a
expensive but worth
it just like me Beauty
Blender right now
I used to think that the
more the better
when it came to foundation
but really
that's not the case use as
little as you
can when I paint my face I
always follow
my bones - orange cherry
lemon and lime
so I want to take I'm gonna
take this
and I'm gonna go right
underneath my
actual cheekbone make these
nice ugly
marks here right underneath
my actual
jawline
I'm just feeling along that
bone there
from the front this contour
it looks
like a shadow but if you
bring it up
here it just looks like a
mustache
you're trying to push in
here to create
a slender small face and
make it look
like your cheekbones are out
farther
it's like basically taking
your your
jawline and putting a
little black dress
on it it's slimming
I have Eastern European I
browse I'm
gonna put a couple layers
of foundation
on here I'm gonna set this
foundation a
little bit with powder here
she's about
to go from Frodo to goal
I'm here
already shablam
giving you deep space 9 odo
realness I
have a big dude forehead
like I have a 9
head it's not even a
forehead is huge so
I'm carving it down by
putting these
shadows here now it is time
for me to
make myself into a shiksa
by carving
this Jew nose down this is
the most
important part of the drag
process for
me because you're really
building a new
face this is your
foundation literally
my nose runs diagonally
across my face
so I'm gonna mess with nature
a little
bit and draw my nose
highlight a little
off from where it should be
so it looks
like my nose the street
stereotypically
women have more fat tissue
beneath the
skin of their faces so I'm
giving that
illusion by highlighting up
here and
making it look like my my
cheekbones my
cheeks are a little bit
fuller alright
now it's time for the nose
contour we're
gonna turn this hot dog
into a Vienna
sausage you're ready then
make it a
little shorter by putting a
shadow at
the bottom shablam I don't
know if this
blend delivers food but
she's seamless
alright here we got it we
got the base
and you know I'm all about
that base
next up we're gonna put on
some eyebrows
this is my favorite part
I'm gonna take some dots
map some things
out I want my eyebrow to start
right
above the inside corner of
my eye and I
want it to bend right above
the iris I'm
gonna connect the dots then
it's time to
run them out because I want
my eye
socket and my whole eye to
look bigger
we want to go for the Anne
Hathaway mrs.
Potato Head look you know
what I mean my
favorite kind of makeup is
free okay
we're gonna put some
texture in here I
want to give these little
eyebrow Harris
I invented this I'm the
only person in
America that does this
we're gonna use
an Anastasia Beverly Hills
eyebrow
palette because they really
just are the
best eyebrow colors I like
a nice bold
shape I am NOT trying to
convince you
that I am
I'm trying to convince you
that I'm a
drag queen okay
eyebrows stick out from
your face their
hair so we're gonna add dimension
the
eyebrow is darker at the
bottom in the
middle is a little lighter
just like
cher said in burlesque you
play like
you're an artist except for
instead of
painting on the canvas
you're painting
your face this is called a
clown white
how appropriate the eye is
drawn to
contrast so I want to put
the most
contrast on my face right
around my
eyeballs so we'll go from
these
highlights here and then
work our way
down to the wings so we're
gonna carve
down our little eye socket
here the next
step is the wings we're
just drawing a
lot between the corner of
our eye and
the end of our eyebrow when
you do your
face just eyeball it don't
try to use
anything to make it
actually perfect as
she is a paint-by-numbers
queen like
Andy Warhol now the most
important part
of this is for me to just
not sneeze
okay we're using anastacio
Beverly Hills
contour kit I'm using this
nice banana
yellow highlight she looks
like a woman
like my makeup is kind of
like Matt
Damon's acting career if
you just like
glance out you're like a
pretty good if
you look closely you're
like
let's give a highlight to
the lower lid
just to give the sense that
the eyes a
little bit open we're open
this is just
a little liquid white
eyeliner I got
some on my eyeball see how
the eye
there's more contrast
around my eye
all right the lashes are
the 3d element
that turns your face from a
painting
into a sculpture some
Queens use duo
that's why their lashes
fall off their
face I use weave glue
strong enough for
a man made for a woman the
lashes are
really the most important
part of the
face I make my own Franken
lashes out of
a bunch of lashes that have
qualities
that I like these
now the lip liner there's a
little line
where the fine muscles of
your lips meet
the fine flat muscles of
your face you
can see that little bump
right there
that is where I draw the
line
[Music]
nothing a queen likes more
than shimmer
maybe a paycheck just try
to use colors
that make the same noise
don't use a lip
liner that's like a
lipstick that's like
oh she's a lady it's time for
me to put
on my goddamn wig all right
I'm using
what's called massed XP
from Kryolan it
is the best spirit gum I'm
gonna prepare
the area with some
isopropyl removing
the makeup here so that the
spirit gum
has a nice place to hold on
this week is
by wigs and grace I usually
make my own
wigs but now I'm busy
I'm taking the lace I'm
putting it the
middle of my forehead and
I'm hitching
it back over my goddamn
skull
the wig is truly like for
me at the most
wonderful part of being a
drag queen
look at that she's a woman
just a subtle
pair of brunch earrings you
know oh my
gosh it looks so good I'm
miss cracker
and I have just given you a
tutorial on
how to become a real
businesswoman
hashtag Erin Brokovich
shablam hashtag
Erin Brockovich BAM I'm so
glad that I
got to do this with you
this is what a
real woman looks like
everybody you know
yes it is so much fun to do
makeup and
it is wonderful to feel
beautiful but
remember that that work
starts on the
inside with joy if you're
not happy
you're not going to be beautiful
so
start with the happiness
then work on
the makeup and whatever you
do get out
of the goddamn house and
make some
people happy that's your
job as a drag
queen shablam
s
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