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We are going to talk more about Blinkist later on in the video but for now let’s get on
with 10 life lessons that we can learn from Confucius. Confucius was one of the greatest
Eastern philosophers of all time, whose teachings deeply influenced East Asian life and thought.
His philosophical movement, Confucianism, emphasizes morality, honesty, the importance
of social relationships and the belief that man is fundamentally good and capable of changing,
evolving and improving. So here are 10 lessons we can all learn from one of China’s most
iconic historical figures.
1. Learn to see beauty in everything Confucius says “Everything has its beauty,
but not everyone sees it.” In today’s world, our life is mostly made
up of routines and patterns. Many of us live according to the rules that are socially acceptable,
within the realm of our comfort, while living repetitively and dreaming of ways to escape.
In the modern business of life, it's hard to appreciate the everyday beauty. There are
many things in life that can irritate you like traffic, your kids throwing fits, stepping
on lego, your computer running slowly, your pet throws up on the carpet, losing your keys
or your phone just randomly stops working. We always fail to see the "silver linings"
or the "bright side". In reality, the simple fact that you are in that world and able to
experience anything at all is little short of a miracle. The sheer complexity of all
the events that have had to happen in order for you to even exist and to have a computer
in the first place, to go slow is simply mind-boggling. Consider just within your own body how much
is going on right now that ‘just happens’ without you even thinking about it. Imagine
if you had to think about breathing or making your heart beat, or even digesting your lunch!
All of this and so much more is all going on just so you can watch this video and understand
it without dying. Isn’t that incredible? And this detail doesn’t just exist in us,
it’s in everything around us. So this means boredom is a fiction we tell ourselves instead
of admitting laziness. To truly understand this is to see that there really is beauty,
detail and interest in everything around you, from the pile of manure to the flowers that
understanding in our own lives and the world we are all living those lives in.
2. Moral values starts at home In the words of Confucius “The strength
of a nation derives from the integrity of the home”.
Moral values are set of principles guiding us to evaluate what is right or wrong. Moral
values such as integrity, determination, loyalty, truthfulness, honesty, giving respect to each
other, and so on, help shape the character and personality of individuals. According
to Confucius, these moral values can be best adopted at an individual family level.
Confucius saw the family as the sole origin and foundation of the nation. The family being
the smallest unit in the nation, plays a very important role in ensuring the stability and
progress of that nation. The principle adopted by Confucius that, “people should not do
to others what they don’t want to be done to them” is best applicable in the family
level. It means people should treat others as they would want to be treated themselves,
as in, if one wants to be treated a certain way, one should treat others in that way.
If everyone were to follow this rule, everyone would be treated well and by ensuring order
and harmony at an individual family level, it becomes automatic that the nation as a
whole will have the order. This is so because a nation is a combination
of homes which are made up of different family members. It’s only by cultivating love among
family members that the nation in turn can demonstrate love. Without love and mutual
respect by all family members, whether parent or child, it is impossible to instill the
high moral values we would like to see everyone achieve. As such, the more families that do
demonstrate mutual love and respect, the more harmonious the coexistence of the wider community,
whether local, national or global, will improve.
3. Never do anything half-heartedly To quote Confucius “Wherever you go, go
with all your heart” Some people succeed over others because they
give 100% to whatever they commit to. Most of us commit to something but usually give
it a half-hearted effort. It means that you don't have that much energy for it, you are
not that motivated for it, or interested in doing it, or inspired but still participate
in whatever you are doing. Most of us waste too much of our time, money, and energy by
not committing wholeheartedly to something that is important to us. Putting a half-hearted
effort into things that matter in life means we are constantly falling short of our potential.
Our “half-hearted effort” is still exhausting. It consumes energy without producing results.
It’s stressful. It makes us feel like a failure when we’re not. It’s just that
we haven’t fully committed to something. Which is why we need to do everything whole-heartedly,
we need to give our 100%. Doing things whole-heartedly means you bring your whole self to work and
you lead from your heart. This way you will be more likely to be the person who cares
more, shares more, understands more, says more, feels more, hears more and is liked
more. You can accomplish anything if you do it with all your heart.
4. Never give up In the words of Confucius “It does not matter
how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” Confucius teaches us that it doesn’t matter
if you are moving a step closer or an inch closer to your dreams - the most important
thing is that you keep moving forward. We all love to fall in love with the idea of
something grand. We love the thought of being a famous tech entrepreneur, far more than
we love sitting in a dark room for years on end learning how to code. And when we hit
the first road block we assume failure and give up entirely because knowledge and mastery
over a skill wasn’t the driving force - the shiny reward at the end was. We need to understand
that success is a work in progress. The truth is you are going to go from point A to point
B. So if you are consistent, well it might not happen in the time frame that had expected,
you will surely reach where you want to go in the end if you put in the daily required
efforts and keep on developing your skills. Just as there are common steps that people
take to achieve success, there are common steps people take to fail. So even if you
do get stuck, do not change your goals, no matter what the difficulty is, just change
the approach you take to get it.
5. Everyone has wisdom to share Confucius says “If I am walking with two
other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one
and imitate them and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself”.
This is one of the great lessons of life. According to Confucius everyone around us
is a lesson, and we should try to learn everything we can from them. There are some things that
we learn from books, by going to classes, watching presentations or listening to lectures.
Other things we learn from people by observing, analyzing, imitating, practicing. When we’re
open to learning from others, we benefit from their experience and we can inherit their
wisdom and knowledge.
A good example is asking friends how they find time to read 1 book a week
The best way to learn from people around you is by having friends who are better than yourself.
Your friends are a guiding light to your future as you are often headed where they already
are. Therefore, surround yourself with friends who are going where you want to go, who share
your values and convictions, and drive each other to be the best self you can be. Learning
from others is not a passive process, but one that requires work and commitment on our
part. So pick out qualities in others which you admire and implement them, and use negative
qualities as reminders of where you don’t want to go or get rid of bad traits you might
have yourself. There is always something to be learned.
6. Ignore gossips To quote Confucius “If they spit at you
behind your back, it means you're ahead of them”
There are 7 billion people on this planet out of which we will roughly encounter 25
- 30000 of them in our brief lifetime. At any phase of your life, there are going to
be people who are going to be more fortunate than you and there are going to be people
who are going to be less fortunate. Unfortunately, some of them will gossip about your fortunes
behind your back. It feels pretty awful to have people talk about you behind your back
but people usually do this for three main reasons -
1. When they can't reach your level, 2. When they don't have, what you have.
3. When they try to copy your life style, but can't
A jealous person won’t come and tell you that he is jealous of you nor he will say
it directly to one of his friends but instead his jealousy will appear in the form of hatred,
resentment and gossiping. People who will envy you the most are the ones who are in
need the most of what you possess. For example, your millionaire friend are never going to
envy you if you bought a new average priced car but your friend who has no car is the
one who is most likely going to be jealous of you. Good or bad, people are going to talk.
Focus on the people who care about and support you, not the people who gossip.
7. Think of the consequences In the words of Confucius “When anger arises,
think of the consequences”. According to Confucius, if we are angry at
someone, then we are defeated by them. We in the west believe that anger is not always
bad. We believe that anger is justified if one is angry at the right time and in the
right context. Confucius, just like Seneca believes that there is no such thing as a
good amount of anger and it is extremely important to think of the consequences when an emotion
like anger arises. Anger is a powerful emotion and it may have destructive results for you
and those closest to you. Anger can lead to arguments, physical fights, physical abuse,
assault and self-harm. Hence whenever you feel you are about to get angry, remove yourself
from the situation that is provoking you, or withhold all actions until you feel yourself
in a completely tranquil state of mind to think of the consequences. Try reading, deep
breathing, meditating, or some other activity you find relaxing. This can relieve the tension
in your muscles and help you relax. Even after taking the time off, if you feel that you
are wronged, you should choose to forgive and move on because at the end of the day,
to be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
8. Practice the art of silence As we learn from Confucius “Silence is a
true friend who never betrays” Silence is a rare privilege in the modern
world. When we’re not talking with others, we fill our sonic space with different types
of media, and with the advent of podcasts, we can always have something to listen to.
For some of us, the absence of sound is almost startling, as we feel automatically compelled
to turn on the TV or radio. There are times throughout the day to integrate silence into
it if you keep an eye out for them. If you’re a stay-at-home parent, you can dedicate the
first 15 minutes of nap time to a silent house. If you work, consider leaving your phone at
your desk and going for a walk on your lunch break, uninterrupted. Take five minutes during
the day to stare out the window and be in the present moment.
Silence is an inner state. In the absence of silence you tend to get overtaken by the
mind and the body, and emotions. The clutter prevents you from listening to your psyche
and soul. To listen to your soul, you need to establish a strong relationship with silence;
without it we might remain unaware of many things about ourselves. Silence empowers you
think things through and come up with solutions because it is only in silence you can truly
listen well that you can listen to the deepest wisdom of your soul.
9. Practice Filial Piety In the words of Confucius “There are three
degrees of filial piety. The highest is being a credit to our parents, the second is not
disgracing them; the lowest is being able simply to support them”
Filial Piety is how children show their gratitude by repaying their parents for their kindness,
love and caring. People from Asia are often more communal and family-oriented; therefore,
children have more respect for their elders and will take care of aging parents in their
own homes until they die. This is in contrast to the majority of us in the west who are
unusually focused on individualism and youth; as a result it is all to common for us to
show little respect for extended families and aging parents. We are so busy developing
our own careers, raising kids and being absorbed in our own lives that we tend to farm our
aging parents out to institutions. According to Confucius, children should take care of
their aging parents for several reasons. To begin with, they helped us to grow up and
without them we wouldn’t be in this world. They provided us love, shelter, clothes, and
medicine whatever we needed at that time; they also provided education, and taught us
how we could survive in the world. Parents always try to prepare their that children
for the future and they want to see them successful and happy. Therefore, one can argue they have
a right to expect something from their children in their old age. So even if you are far off
occupied with your busy life, you can practice filial piety by maintaining frequent contact,
visiting them more often, stepping out with them, sending them money, and so on. Our parents
made a lot of sacrifices for us in their lives, so we as children should show our love and
gratitude for elderly parents by taking care of them.
10. Embrace getting older In our final piece of wisdom from Confucius,
he tells us “Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently
shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator”
When we turn 40, we suddenly we find ourselves slowing down, gaining weight and losing muscle
tone. We’re less energized than a few short years ago. A new study has concluded that
people with a positive attitude about getting older live longer and have better mental health.
Those who look at aging as a bad thing “are more likely to suffer a heart attack, a stroke
or die several years sooner.” Hence we need to change our perspective. Although there
can be declines in health and income, the vast majority of older adults enjoy improvements
in the emotional aspects of life because they are more focused on positive information.
While you might not be able to do all the things you once did when you were younger,
there are ways you can compensate by finding other activities that are just as rewarding
like finding something to commit to improving, whether it’s tennis or chess. You can also
focus on helping others, especially younger people. We really shouldn’t forget - the
alternative to ageing is dying young. We really hope you enjoyed this video and
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