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Confucius - How To Be A Gentleman (Confucianism)

Junzi is a Chinese philosophical term often translated as "gentleman" or "superior person”.
Confucious employed this term in his works to describe the ideal man. In Confucianism,
the Sage is the ideal personality, however, it’s a very hard path to follow and so Confucius
created the concept of junzi, which is significantly more achievable by any given individual. Confucius
was one of the greatest Eastern philosophers of all time and he believed in encouraging
good virtues, careful thinking, and discipline. He also believed that if rulers could become
better people, the ruled would follow their example, yielding a better community for everyone.
Thus Confucius taught a philosophy rich in benevolence and good behavior, employing an
ideal archetype in which moral qualities could be symbolized. Confucius states that there
are five virtues that make up a true gentleman. According to him, an individual who can practice
all five of them can be considered a superior man, a portrayer of true manhood or put simply...
a gentleman. Although it should be noted that while Confucius spoke of Gentlemen and true
manhood, he was merely a victim of the age he lived in - and of course these lessons
apply to all people equally, not just men.
But before we go ahead with the virtues of a gentleman, let me quickly introduce you
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below to get started, but for now let’s get into those five virtues of a true gentleman...
1. The Virtue of ren Confucius says “Ren is to love others”
In the Analects, Confucius mentioned Ren over one hundred times, but he never formally defined
it. In the English world, scholars have translated Ren by many terms – benevolence, love, altruism,
kindness, charity, compassion, magnanimity, humaneness, humanity, perfect virtue, goodness,
and so forth. All these interpretations, however, share two notions: every human being has the
capacity to possess ren, and ren manifests itself when a virtuous person treats others
with humaneness. It manifests itself in the inner mind, in love and compassion for people
and in avoiding harm or envy toward anyone. According to Confucius, being a gentleman
does not require a high social rank, a fine appearance, or an eloquent manner of speech.
Rather, it requires that one embody goodness in one’s relationships with others. According
to Mencius, one of the best known students of Confucious, the virtue of Ren is naturally
present in everyone. For example, if a child were to fall into a well, you’ld naturally
do go and try to save the child. You don’t have to love the child to save him. You will
save him because of your instinct to care. And this shows that compassion is present
in everyone. In situations like this, a person who holds a “who cares?” attitude is one
without a human heart. In the modern world, many of us are guilty of this who cares attitude.
Many of us, for example, regularly pass homeless individuals on the street without acknowledgment.
The best way to practice the virtue of Ren is by following Confucius’s golden rule
which is “What one does not wish for oneself, one ought not to do to anyone else”. It
means people should treat others as they would want to be treated themselves. If everyone
were to follow this rule, everyone would be treated well, ensuring order and harmony in
wider society. For Confucians, the most natural and important site for the expression of ren
is the family. It’s only by cultivating love among family members that the nation
in turn can demonstrate love. This is so because a nation is a combination of homes which are
made up of different family members. Without love and mutual respect by all family members,
whether parent or child, it is impossible to instil the high moral values we would like
to see everyone achieve. As such, the more families that do demonstrate mutual love and
respect, the more harmonious coexistence of the wider community, whether local, national
or global. Things will improve on a national level if a government is really one of Ren,
one which takes good care of its people, and in theory there would be no crime or poverty.
2. Virtue of Li In the words of Confucius “Look not at what
is contrary to propriety; listen not to what is contrary to propriety; speak not what is
contrary to propriety; make no movement which is contrary to propriety”
Li is proper conduct through participating in various cultural practices that will develop
the superior person. The English meaning of Li is "the way things should be done." It
is a virtue of community and one’s interactions and responsibilities towards others. According
to Confucius, the gentleman must be aware of the way he should act and function within
a society. Li is closely related to fairness and justice and one can best cultivate their
character by understanding what it entails. Li primarily encompasses of establishment
the Five Constant Relationships and to participate in these relationships well. The Five Constant
Relationships outline how one should act in society, being the relationships between parent
and child, husband and wife, older and younger siblings and friends, and even ruler and subject.
With these constant relationship guidelines, Li sets up a hierarchy between the two people
and defines terms for the accepted responses and actions between them.
A parent is to be loving, a child obedient. An elder sibling is to be gentle, and younger
siblings respectful. Husbands are to be good and fair, and wives
understanding. Older friends are to be considerate, younger
friends reverential. Rulers should be benevolent, and subjects
loyal. This means if you are in government, then
as a gentleman, you should be kind and work towards the betterment of your people. If
you are regular citizen, then you should be loyal towards your elected head. This rule
also applies in your professional life. If you are in a position of power in your workplace,
then you should be moral, fair and lead by example. If you are an intern or just starting
out with your career, then you should be loyal and respectful to your seniors.
If one follows the concept of Li, each of these relationships will be marked with harmony,
and since 3 out of these 5 relationships deal with family, Confucius asserts that when the
principal relationships of the family is tranquil, Li will slip into the culture. All of society,
from the home to the village to the nation will be tranquil.
Another aspect of proper conduct and participating in proper cultural practices is Xao. This
is to practice what is referred to as Filial Piety, which means having reverence for your
family. It means that family is our priority. According to Confucius, a gentleman should
have a profound respect for his parents and should practice filial piety, especially when
his parents get old. Filial Piety is how children show their gratitude by repaying their parents
for their kindness, love and caring. People from Asia are often more communal and family-oriented;
therefore, children have more respect for their elders and will take care of aging parents
in their own homes until they die. This is completely opposite to what the majority of
us follow in the west.
We are unusually focused on individualism and consumption; and hence all-too-often we
show very little respect to our aging parents and extended family. We are so busy developing
our own careers, raising kids and being absorbed in our own lives that we send our aging parents
to institutions. According to Confucius, when parents are alive, a good son does not stray
too far from his parents. Children should always take care of their aging parents as
they helped us to grow up and without them we wouldn’t be in this world to begin with!
Our parents made a lot of sacrifices for us in their lives, and a gentleman will always
show his love and gratitude for elderly parents by taking care of them.
The third way of conducting oneself properly society is Confucius’s idea of Doctrine
of the mean. The Doctrine of the Mean is the way in which one should make decisions in
life, in which the best decision is always the middle between unworkable extremes. Taking
the middle road - as Confucius said - would guide one to the way things should be done.
It means; Living in moderation,
Not striving for excess, and to Always value compromise
Confucius tried to establish these customs because at that time everyone was living in
a very chaotic period of Chinese society due to states constantly fighting among themselves,
but the world today is very different, and far more complex. It is primarily due to our
need to over consume: According to the WHO, worldwide obesity tripled between 1975 and
2016, 1 in 8 American adults is an alcoholic, 1 divorce happens every 13 seconds, and over
16 million adults are said to have gone through depression in the United States alone. So
slow down for your health, for people around you and for your fellow less fortunate countrymen
who might benefit if you consume less.
3. The Virtue of Xin Confucius tells us “If either wealth or
poverty are come by honesty, there is no shame”. “Xin” is usually understood as honesty,
integrity, trustworthiness, faithfulness, or sincerity. Confucius held "faithfulness"
to be an indispensable virtue for a human being. It is considered as an essential concept
of Confucianism and is commonly recognized as the standard of value and virtue for Chinese
people. Confucius taught his disciples to be honest
and told them that in study, if you know a thing, say you know it; if you don't know,
say so. He thought that it was the correct attitude towards study because only a man
of faithfulness should be appointed to some task; otherwise survival would be hardly possible.
He also called a man without faith “mean” and kept an aloof distance from them. Once
trust is broken, it can never be fully regained. Although “I’m sorry” can make certain
ugly situations better but it can’t heal rifts or set things back to how they were
before. If someone finds out that you’ve lied to them, they will never be able to fully
trust you again. Even if you spend the rest of your life being a complete paragon of honesty
and integrity, the person you lied to will always wonder if you’re being dishonest
on some level. You can be sincere to your very marrow, but they won’t ever have true
faith in you again.
According to Confucius, honesty is necessary whether in ruling a country or conducting
oneself. Honesty is a prerequisite to establishing good relationships, ensuring friendly co-existence
and normal communication as honesty is key to promoting understanding, building trust
and improving relationships. In business circles, honesty and faithfulness can improve market
confidence, aid interactions with international markets and boost economic growth. On a national
and global level honesty is an important guarantee for a society to exist and develop. A faithful
and honest government can help unite all citizens and promote the fast development of society.
Hence, a gentleman should always be honest because honesty is the foundation upon which
one can enhance his self-cultivation, settle down and get on with his pursuits, and gaining
achievements.
4. The Virtue of Zhi According to Confuicous “By three methods
we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second is by imitation,
which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest”
The fourth virtue is Zhi, which is best translated as practical wisdom. It is the innate knowledge
by which one judges right and wrong, good and evil. Practical wisdom allows a person
to make correct judgments regarding actions, which leads to appropriate conduct and adherence
to ritual and roles within relationships and social structures. This practical wisdom also
stems from the Confucians’ love of learning, and according to this, a gentleman should
always have an active role in the learning process. When a person learns, it is at first
only ideas, but as these ideas are reflected and reasoned out through thought and practical
application, they become knowledge. An accumulation of this knowledge with practical application
becomes a specialized form of wisdom, practical wisdom.
The 3 most effective methods to learn wisdom, according to Confucius are –
1. Learning Wisdom by Reflection According to Confucius, this method is the
noblest one. Reflection is about you becoming aware of your own thinking processes. It enables
assessment of the "why" and "how" of learning, and what needs to be done as a result. If
your everyday life is full of chaos, you might not be ready to reflect upon new subjects
you desire to learn. You will need to prepare diaries and observations of your understanding
so that you can come back to it frequently and attach further context.
2. Learning Wisdom by Imitation Confucius says this is the easiest method
to learn. It is a social form of learning where you pick up from one another via observation,
imitation and modeling. It includes attention, memory and motivation. A good example of this
would be watching videos on skillshare.
3. Learning wisdom By experience According to Confucian philosophy this is
bitterest way to learn wisdom. Your uniqueness, your character and your life -all that is
cast by your experiences. Each one of us goes through different transformations with mixed
variables which remain unique and challenging. Man is the product of these learning experiences.
Knowledge comes but wisdom remains, and that comes from experience and maturity.
This virtue is important for many reasons, but probably the most important is due to
the danger of ignorance. According to Confucious, one who is ignorant or does not desire to
learn is in danger of leading a foolish existence and spreading folly among other people. In
a sense it precedes the other virtues because without wisdom one will have no sense of ethics,
or social skills, or even just plain common sense the other virtues require for guidance.
The act of learning and living in wisdom brings with it virtue and a meaningful, impactful
life.
5. The Virtue of Yi Confucius says “The superior man is easy
to serve and difficult to please. If you try to please him in any way which is not accordant
with right, he will not be pleased” Yi can be described as righteousness and justice.
It signifies what is right. Confucius considered righteousness as part of the essence of a
true gentleman. As an essential human virtue, yi is something a good man values and holds
important. But the desire to be righteous often conflicts with other values such as
power, influence, or wealth. Let's say that your office colleagues talk badly about someone
in his absence. You know gossiping is bad but you do not want to go against your colleagues.
You bow to peer pressure and you too start gossiping. This is cowardly, according to
Confucius. You should not do what you do not feel is right. According to Confucius, when
a person knows what’s right, it is that person’s responsibility to act on it regardless
of the risk. To not act rightly is less of a problem than knowing what is right and not
doing it. Ethical behaviour will only result when moral considerations take precedence
over competing values, and inner desires are managed through the development of virtues
that make up a moral character. Confucianism, just like Stoicism, believes that one should
never compromise on the virtue of his character. For example, if one is obtaining wealth by
compromising his moral values, then that wealth should not be kept.
While Confucius emphasized the importance of cultivating moral virtues within one’s
heart-and-mind, he insisted that one’s cultivation of character must involve extending those
virtues to others. The difference between a morally-superior and a morally-deficient
person is that the former has understood what is righteous in one’s own self and extended
it to others, while the latter is devoted only to satisfying his or her own interest.
Learning, for the Confucians, has two purposes. The first is to learn to be an upright, moral
person. This is the ideal of a gentleman or a superior person. After the gentleman has
cultivated virtues and elevated his character, it is then possible for him to apply what
he has learned. To serve the people and the state is considered the ultimate purpose of
learning and a moral obligation of a true gentleman. One begins life in a family and
then moves outward toward increasingly more complex social relationships, these relationships
help define the person and influence their ethical characteristics, and so, we can see
Human growth as a broadening of vision, of relationships, and of the ethical bonds that
hold people together. From the teachings of Confucius, there is
no indication that a gentleman looks upon his endeavors and looks down upon those below
him; but rather a gentleman’s endeavors pull others towards him.
So, if you enjoyed this video, please do make sure to check out the full Philosophies for
Life channel and for more videos to help you find success and happiness using ancient philosophical
wisdom, don’t forget to subscribe.

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