- When I say the word success what do you envision?
Is it having a nice car, is it having a nice family
or is it simply just having a career that you love?
I'm gonna share with you two different stories
of two different men and I want your opinion
on who you think lived a more successful life.
This is Ben and Ben had a really rough childhood.
He grew up very poor,
his parents were not exactly very loving.
or making him dinner or taking any interest in him at all
they would go to the local bar and drink.
And this was really difficult for Ben to deal with.
He would often sit alone in his room
and he would ask himself,
why don't they want to spend time with me,
what did I do wrong, could I be better?
But Ben never got an answer.
The way Ben coped with his childhood
was by reading books.
Everyday after school he would just
go to this local library and read.
See, books were a way for him to escape,
he didn't have to think about his parents
and he could just forget about his sadness
and just lost in his stories.
Over time Ben eventually became very fascinated
with Greek history and he would read about
great Greek heroes like Alexander the Great
and how they possessed all these traits of
courage, bravery, and power.
And sometimes he would even imagine himself
being this rich, Greek, conqueror
where he had the freedom and power
to do whatever he wanted.
And he could help as many people as he wanted.
It was through reading these books when Ben decided
that he wanted a better life for himself.
He wanted to become a modern day conqueror.
Fast forward to high school
and Ben was working extremely hard.
He only had one goal on his mind at this time
at that was to get a full ride scholarship
to a local college.
And through hard work he actually did it.
And he decided to pursue law.
After college Ben went on to become a fierce lawyer,
his work ethic was unmatched,
his intensity was admired and feared by his competition.
Ben was becoming unstoppable.
And over the next few years he had become
one of the top paid lawyers in the state.
All of this achievement and quote unquote success
did come at a cost.
Ben didn't have time to go outside and socialize,
he didn't have time for hobbies or vacations
and he certainly did not have time to settle down
and find a loving partner.
His work had completely consumed him
but this is the price that everybody has to pay
if they want to become a modern day conqueror.
And also, if Ben was being totally honest with himself
he didn't exactly love practicing law.
It's not like he woke up in the morning
and was super excited to work
and to spend hours and hours researching every single case.
Because he was so busy he never actually asked himself,
what do I actually enjoy doing?
What would I do if I had $20 million in my bank account?
How would I spend my time?
But this work is what allowed him to live in a nice house,
to drive a nice car and to eat at nice restaurants.
But most importantly it's what allowed him
to be financially free
which is something that he always wanted since he was a kid.
This is Jeff.
And Jeff was born into a middle-class family.
His childhood was pretty average,
no major traumas, he played some sports
and he had a very nice family.
And he did okay in school.
From a very young age, Jeff's parents told him,
Jeff, do whatever makes you happy.
And that's exactly what he did.
Fast forward to high school
and Jeff was doing just enough to get by.
He didn't have big college dreams
or dreams of conquering the world.
He spent most of his time just doing what he liked
which was playing the guitar
or hanging out with his friends.
Jeff did really enjoy helping people though.
And he even started to volunteer
at the local homeless shelter a couple times per week.
And doing this gave him a lot of joy and happiness.
Jeff did apply to a few colleges in his area
and eventually one accepted him.
But he had no idea what he wanted to major in.
And after a few years
of kind of floating around and taking it easy,
he decided to major in creative writing.
Because english was the only academic class
that he actually enjoyed.
After college, Jeff decided to start a blog about music
where he would interview local musicians in the area
about how they got started,
about what their future plans were.
And again, he did this because he loved music
and he loved helping other people succeed.
And over time,
Jeff built up a small but loyal fan base online
and he truly loved what he did.
It was combining his two passions, writing and music.
However, this job did not exactly pay that well,
he wasn't driving around in nice cars
or going to nice restaurants
and he could only afford a very basic apartment.
He was making just enough money to get by
while saving only a little bit every single month.
What Jeff did have was time.
He had time to make friends,
he had time to go out
and make great memories with these friends
and he even had time to meet a great girlfriend.
Jeff was the type of guy who didn't take life too seriously.
So I bet most of you guys have an idea in your head
about who was more successful.
But before you tell me your opinion,
let me quickly tell you mine.
Everyone has a different vision
of what success look likes.
And the interesting thing about success
is that everyone thinks their vision of success
is the correct one
and that everyone else's vision is wrong.
In my personal opinion, I think all this great.
I think wanting money is good,
I think wanting a loving family is great
but the problem arises when we start saying
our vision of success is the right one
and your vision of success is the wrong one.
And the reason why most people tend to do this
is because when he hear about
another person's vision of success
that contradicts our vision or it contradicts the way
that we've already been living our life
we get really defensive
and we will start to exaggerate all the positives
about our lifestyle
and we really play down all the negatives.
If your parents spent their whole lives
focusing on stability and money
they are way more likely to tell you
that that's the proper way to live life
and they will highlight all the positives.
Similar to how if your parents focused on fun and joy
they are much more likely to encourage you to do that.
The main point here is that the only person
who knows what a successful life looks like for you is you.
You can and should listen to other people's perspectives
but just remember,
part of the reason why they're telling you
about how good their lifestyle is
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