some decisions of major decisions and
also there are a lot of small decisions
that we don't make that they tax our
minds they drain our energy they create
a lot of anxiety and nervousness and
mental torment because we don't take
care of it we decide not to decide which
is a decision deciding to decide to act
it's a major major challenge for all of
us at different points in different
areas of our lives and there are things
that happen to us along the way
experiences that we have that prevent us
from working through the mental block of
acting of doing those things that we
know we ought to do and so what I want
you know you need to do that you want to
do this but for some reason or another
you've been holding back for some reason
or another you just have not been able
to gather your nerves or be able to work
through the procrastinating or putting
it off or justifying or blaming some
reason or another you just haven't done
it and you know you ought to do this you
really want to do this but you don't
know why you haven't done it anybody
know what I'm talking about Rachel and
please
okay then I've got comfort here this
evening I'm not talking to myself now
first of all what we know that this is
not easy because in order to begin to
reinvent your life you've got to make a
conscious deliberate determined effort
that you really got to put all of
yourself into it it's very challenging
to add to do those things at times when
you're looking at if you say I know I
need to do this but I don't feel like it
I don't want to do it I know I need to
do it yet leave me alone no I don't want
to do it so what do we do one of those
things that that cause us to do like
that I think that among the things that
prevent us from acting is the fear of
failure and if you've already failed you
don't want to fail again the pain of
that the disappointment the fear of loss
is another thing because many times when
we do those things that we know we need
to do we feel that we might lose
somebody that we love very much in care
about we don't want to hurt anybody
many of us don't act because we want
other people's approval we want
everybody to like us and to accept us
and that's not possible
many of us don't do the things that we
want to do and don't act because of lack
of self-confidence
we don't believe enough in ourselves I
have a friend who's been working on a
job where she's miserable talented want
to go to another place that she can do
what she wants to do and make the kind
of money that she would like to make and
had had some offers but because of her
fear and her lack of self-confidence of
things might not work out she won't take
a chance on herself so there she is
spending eight hours a day five days a
week and she's miserable she hates to go
to work
they're not paying on what she's worth
she knows it but yet and still she won't
do that which she knows she must do and
it's wearing out that a lot of people
that their jobs are making them sick
because they won't act you check out the
absenteeism and people that are
depressed you see them coming to work
angry how you doing I don't know just
leave me alone
it's not even 9:00 o'clock kid you're
talking about good morning that day's
you go to work you want to just keep
drive past a job you know you don't want
to stop because it's not in sync with
who you are but you haven't acted have
another friend he's God brilliant he's a
business consultant he helped a lot of
people give their business started and
people come to him because they know
he's knowledgeable but this guy won't
start his own business now he's very
smart he could do it everybody believes
in it except him and he's so smart he's
talked himself out of well the numbers
aren't right so there are many reasons
why we don't act there are other things
though that affect us is that not
wanting to take personal responsibility
we want somebody else to do it and we
many times we pick up our inability to
do certain things from people that we
love people that we admire we identify
with them and we live in the context of
their ideas their opinions and their
life patterns we buy into it
unconsciously my mother is the pack rat
she keeps everything she doesn't throw
anything away and I have unconsciously
picked that up
now my mother never said let me show you
how to keep everything less than just
clutter things I unconsciously picked
that up many times unconsciously we
tried to honor the people we love by
being like them by the same token I
realized something about myself when I
had some major decisions to make and I
found myself acting like my mother see
my mother's the kind of person that when
she has a problem with one of the other
foster children that she adopted she
won't confront them she will call me
less why don't you tell Linda to move
she's lazy she won't go to work she runs
this street all day and then she comes
home and wants to sleep all day and I
think she's doing drugs I said but mama
why don't you tell Linda that I bought
the house for you I told you when she
wanted to come home don't let a grown
person come there and take care of them
you let her in well after all she's my
child mama
then you handle that when I tell her to
leave she say mama say I can say mama
can I send you tell her yes and then you
call me say she's still here
[Applause]
why worried me with this
so mama hasn't developed the courage to
act on that some people won't act until
there's a crises situation when Linda
stop stealing from Mama and took a
Social Security check to get some drugs
mama got some courage to say get out of
here don't ever come back but she
wouldn't do it until then and say we
don't have to wait until a crisis
situation I have a friend that has been
having a challenge with losing weight
both of us have been dealing with that
challenge and for the past 40 years he's
always seemed like weighed over 235
pounds and so he said man I just can't
lose weight I'm big-boned it I said bud
I've never seen any fat skeletons
no you need to act on your health you
can change this well you don't have to
go to your grave fat we're all digging
early grades without teeth we don't have
to do this they need to have a support
group around M&M peanuts you want a
support group on something and throw
Snickers in there too but and I can tell
you about the help we need with that so
what happened with bud though he became
ill a few weeks ago he bought in last
few weeks has lost more weight than he's
ever lost even when we were competing
with each other
betting a lot of money but what happened
was bud became diabetic he went into an
insulin shock he didn't know that he was
diabetic his blood sugar became high and
the doctor said to him you are diabetic
you're gonna have to have insulin shots
every day you're gonna have to change
your diet and let me tell you what's
going to happen if you don't do what we
tell you to do number one there's a
possibility that you can become an
amputee number two you can go blind
three you can become impotent buts they
help me
[Laughter]
Let Go guys with with Pawan when part
broke out of jail gassy tell me what I
must do to be saved what were to be seen
as they but you wanna wonder my peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches no I say but
I can't believe you eating vegetables
man you're exercising he's dead that's
right a jogger did please do now he had
the ability to do it before but there's
some people it takes that kind of crises
to bring them into reality in order for
them to act in their own best interest
some people have to hit rock bottom in
order to ride
you want to begin to look out on your
life and what you want for you and I
think that when we begin to focus in the
area of what does it take for us to act
I think we can say events can inspire us
to have that particular been in his life
circumstances
friend of mine he wanted to do something
and he just did not have the motivation
in the drive and the confidence within
himself but his circumstances changed
overnight through an acquisition of the
company that he worked for he lost his
job through the inspiration of
desperation he had to act see life also
of things that can inspire us that see
we don't have the courage and that's
what it takes courage it takes guts to
do that which you know you need to do if
you don't have the courage to act life
many times will move on you and make you
add life will whip your butt so bad you
will be so miserable you will catch so
much hell you say yes I will do it what
do you want me to do take me friend of
mine say I can't stop smoking I can't
stop smoking doctor said Sam axelrod you
have emphysema say I've never picked up
another cigarette
instead look of those stupid people
smoking Sam you did it for 35 years how
can you talk about people while I was
different I'm trying to help them they
don't have to do the same thing I did
but be compassionate Sam is it
interesting how quickly we forget so I'm
saying that look at something in your
life it might be just writing a letter
to somebody to say thank you it might be
just to apologize to somebody I had a
confrontation and the Penobscot building
with the security guard there he
responded to me what I perceived as a
negative way and he and I engaged in an
argument I did not like the way I
handled that I avoided going through the
front door for a long time because I
didn't want to face him finally I
decided to act and I went up to him and
said I want to apologize to you for the
way in which I handed this argument we
had the other day I was wrong I hope you
accept my apology he said I do and I
said thank you very much I felt relieved
now when you decide to act it's not
always going to be like that
a friend of mine did some work for me it
was below par to say the least I knew
that this guy was capable of doing
better work I knew that he also had a
fragile ego so I was trying to think of
what is the most sensitive way in which
I can share this information with him
because I wanted him to do my work over
I was gonna pay him for what he did but
I needed my work done right but I was
afraid that I would hurt his feelings I
was very very meticulous and how I
approached him and I said let me share
this with you you know I care about you
and that you are very talented and
gifted first and you and I both know
that what you have given me is not a
true reflection of your talents and
abilities and I'm saying let's go back
in the studio and do this again and he
said to me I'm gonna forget you ever
said that
[Music]
I was wiped out he never spoke to me
again now when you decide to act you're
gonna have some people like that we're
no longer friends I lost sleep over that
ladies and gentlemen as I can't believe
that I remember setting up one night
looking at the phone I said I gotta call
him said no that's it don't forget that
I caught me looking we've been knowing
each other too long to allow this to
come between us he said don't call me
anymore huh No
and then I I wanted to think about how
what can I do to make it up to him and
then something caged me less what do you
have to prove see many things we don't
do it is because the fact we want people
to like us there's some necessary losses
in life when you decide acting in your
best interest you're gonna lose some
friends everybody's not going to approve
of you there's some people that won't
like you who do you think you're you're
arrogant what do you think you can do
you think you'd get away with that
you're selfish thanks I got that
[Music]
it's my life and so what I'm saying to
you is that as you begin to look out on
your life this is challenging this is
not easy
acting so what are the things that we
can begin to do to harness our will
number one you've got to bring it out
and look at it you got to take the power
out of it
you've got to expose it to the truth and
the truth is that it has no power over
you so write down something you want to
act on but for some reason that you've
been holding back and look at it the
next thing is ask yourself the question
is it helping you to continue to put it
off if it's an asset for you to continue
to procrastinate then continue to do
that but if it's a liability for you if
it's causing you some mental and some
emotional challenges or perhaps a
financial problem look at that examine
that for what it is next step ask
yourself what's blocking you what's
preventing you from acting why don't you
have the courage to handle that why
won't you face that what are you running
away from
what kind of avoidance behavior are you
engaged in next is what is the worst
thing that can happen when you take
action sound looked at that and I said
what's the worst thing can happen when I
tell him this he can say I don't like
you
and he did not what happened I
experienced that I looked at that I saw
that and guess what ladies and gentlemen
I didn't die my feelings were hurt a
little bit I lost some sleep about it
and sometimes I think about it when I
Drive past his house but I'm still here
it's uncomfortable but it's okay it
doesn't bother me anymore I've gotten
used to it now
so what is the worst thing that can
happen I want you to visualize that
experience that feel the nervousness in
the discomfort and the more you run it
in your mind the less power that it will
have next is how will you feel after
taking this action I felt a sense of
personal achievement when I face
somebody that has been my mentor for
years and for years there was something
I wanted to tell him and I didn't have
the courage to tell him because it was
always I was the student he was to teach
you it was always I looked up to him and
admired him and held him in high esteem
and I was always grateful and thankful
for the impact that he had on my life
and I loved him so much I didn't have
the courage to say to him please stop
drinking so much you're an alcoholic you
need help I didn't have the courage
because I was afraid that he might not
like me I was afraid that he might be
hurt and crushed then we would no longer
be friends I didn't want to jeopardize
what we had I loved him a great deal and
I didn't I didn't know how this would
affect our relationship and I didn't
even want him to know that I knew that
he was an alcoholic and so I was a
coward I was spineless in the name of
love I did it to justify to myself to
stop from helping somebody that I loved
from dying I said I love him so much I
just can't tell him this I don't even
know how he would handle it to know that
I know that he's an alcoholic and
finally after years I developed the
courage to face my teacher my mentor who
has molded me who looks at me now and
wanted to do what I'm doing now and did
not do it came at a different time and
it wasn't time for what he brought and
he's living through me
and I had to face this man who's been
like a father to me
it's not gonna tell you something you've
got a problem I love you very much
please stop drinking you're killing
yourself it's not just social you do it
every day you need help and whatever I
can do to support you in that I will
please stop and he looked at me and I
had no idea what how he was going to
handle that
and first there was like I dare you
and we just looked at each other and
then I reached out to embrace him and
we've never ever embraced man
macho never hug
I hugged him and he just stood there
with his arm straight he couldn't raise
his arms to hug me back and he was
shocked and after he got over the
initial shock when he could bring
himself to speak to maintain his
composure because he could never afford
to let me his students see him
vulnerable or admit that I was right he
said I'll be seeing you
I said yes sir
I tell you I thought be about the house
to see though see y'all before I leave
when he walked away at first I was very
depressed about it I said well maybe it
wasn't my place to do this and you know
when you act you gonna have some second
thoughts then I said no no no I did what
I felt I did it because I feel very
strongly about this and fortunately he
called me back a few weeks later and
left word with the answering service
Leslie Brown I just want to say thank
you and hung up that was a good feeling
when we look out on our lives you ask
the question what are you going to do
look at as you think about this that you
know you need to handle what are you
going to do and then write down three
strong reasons on why you know you must
take action and be explicit and
descriptive in your reasons because your
reasons have power your reasons will
drive you when you have doubt when your
faith becomes weak your reasons will
fortify your faith when you have an
inner conversation say no don't do that
your reasons will become your rod and
your staff to comfort you to take you
through those challenging moments so
write down your reasons and what you
will find but when you decide to act
when you decide to take life oh and let
me warn you it can be painful it will be
uncomfortable and that's where the
growth is when you're uncomfortable when
you're stretching out when you're taking
life by the color you're gonna get
thrown to the ground again and again and
again but when you have determination
and you know that what you're doing is
right that gives you your life it gives
a special meaning and power to you you
have some power from on aha
you will discover some things about
yourself that will begin to electrify
your personality you begin to discover
some things about you that you don't
know you've got when you put yourself in
that type of challenging situation
repeat after me please I can go into
action
on anything in my life nothing is
stopping me but me no challenge in my
life
has any power over me
here's something that Howard Thurman
wrote on the decision to act he said
it's a wondrous thing that a decision to
act releases energy in the personality
for days on in a person may drift alone
without much energy having no particular
sense of direction and having no will to
change then something happens to alter
the pattern it may be something very
simple and inconsequential in itself but
it stabs awake it alarms it disturbs in
a flash one gets a vivid picture oneself
and it passes the result is decision
shove definitive decision and the wake
of the decision yes even as a part of
the decision itself energy is released
the act of decision sweeps all before it
and the life of the individual may be
changed forever when you decide
to make decisions to add you begin to
access power within you that will
increase your self-esteem that will
increase and enhance your personal power
but that puts you in charge of life and
life has a whole new meaning for you as
a sense of personal freedom doesn't mean
you're not gonna have any struggles
doesn't mean that you're not gonna have
any challenges doesn't mean that you're
not going to suffer any defeat no no no
doesn't mean that but what it does mean
that you putting yourself in the
position to grow you putting yourself in
line with your higher calling and your
higher self and
[Music]
that's what life is about
[Music]
[Music]
what you've done here this affirmation
please everybody stand please I'm
standing up to life and the challenges
in my life I'm going to use all of me
all of my courage my faith determination
and any help and support that I can give
anyone
to realize their greatness
together we can shake somebody's hand on
your right and left and say you've got
what it takes
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