hey what's up life masters Stefan James
here from project life mastery I got an
email today that I want to respond to
it's an email from someone that's been
on this path on this journey of success
and mastery in their life they have
goals and dreams that they're trying to
turn into a reality but they feel stuck
they're struggling they are allowing
their past to hold them back they have
events in their past where their people
said they're allowing that to infect
their mind in their psyche that's
preventing them from moving forward and
creating the life they wants and I felt
compelled to do a video like this and
respond in this way because I feel
there's so many of you out there that
can relate there's so many of you out
there they're also having those goals
and ambitions but you might be at a
point where you feel like giving up that
maybe success is just not for you maybe
you should have settle in your life
because there's so much easier and
comfortable to do that then go through
the pain of disappointment of getting
your hopes up and failing and not being
where you want to be you know many
people they get to a point of learned
helplessness where they believe that
nothing will work for them why even
bother why even try and if that's you
that you showed up for the right video
you clicked on the right thumbnail
you know guys there's the haters out
there on the internet right we all know
negative things they criticize everyone
else and they doubt everyone else and
they project their onto
everyone else because they've given up
on their goals and dreams these haters
out there and those trolls they once had
the same goals and aspirations that you
and I did but they went through the
journey and they got beat up so much
they went through so much pain that they
just gave up and they just so afraid of
getting their hopes up and trying and
believing that something can work so
they just decided that nothing will work
for them and they've settled in their
life and that's why whenever there's an
opportunity that's available whenever
there's someone that could help them
there could be an opportunity that could
serve and change their life right here
in front of them but they're so afraid
to believe that it can work and try and
go forward they just automatically
assume it must be a scam or faked or the
person is a liar or whatever it is but
they don't want to get hurt again
they're trying to protect themselves
from that they're skeptical they're
cynical you've got to be very careful
because on the other side of giving up
in your goals and dreams is that life in
that reality where you're trying to
bring everyone else down as a way for
you to feel better about yourself
because you gave up on your goals and
dreams and you're trying to bring
everyone else's down and be a pessimist
a parasite really to everyone else so
listen let me dive into this email and
I'll go through it and I'll provide my
response and coaching for you guys
it's from Vanessa she says hi Steph and
I'm not sure she'll get this or not but
I just want to say that your video that
was sent to me this morning
which I'll add below was a godsend so
the video she's referring to is the one
I did on never settling in your life she
says I fought with a thought with myself
my whole life I've had huge dreams my
whole life I've had beliefs so powerful
that there was no doubt in my mind that
they'll come true but then they always
come crashing down to show me the
reality that I'm supposed to live you
see I have this poisonous bug in my head
at metaphorically speaking it has always
been there I was I was told once by my
school teacher that I was a defect
certain types of people are meant to
succeed and I came from a family that
hasn't my ex-husband also told me that I
came from a family that don't value
education and I'll probably fail at my
goal and I did my mom said rich people
are evil and selfish so if I make money
I may feel isolated from my family
people have told me that I'm very
talented creatively and I have in my
whole life but it was mostly to escape
I'm trying so hard I really am I've been
less than at Tony Robbins and your
videos I have days where I feel alive
successful and high as a kite and then
someone will say something I come
crashing back down to reality I feel
like I'm competing with a brick wall I
can't kill this bug in my head it sounds
like I'm a little crazy but I'm not I
just refer to this negative thing as a
bug and I can't get rid of it no matter
how hard that I try every day if you ask
me now if I believe that I'll succeed
one day I would say yes I do believe I
will
but I don't know if I trust myself
anymore if that's true or not I have two
beautiful daughters and all I want to do
is make them proud of me I made sure to
set them up for success when they grow
up I told them every day that they can
be and do whatever they want and they
have and I'm so proud of them that
they're not like my family yesterday I
had a very bad day reality checks in and
again and I think after a good run I
feeling successful for the whole week
then this morning I thought for the
first time in my whole life that maybe
success isn't for me
maybe I am a defect maybe success is
just for certain people and not me and
that's why I keep getting knocked down
I'm just so tired I'm tired of trying
then I saw your video it was really sent
to me at a good time and I just want to
thank you personally thank you you're
sincerely venice' so Vinnie I want to
say thank you so much for sending this
email to me and having the courage to
share and be vulnerable in this way and
to ask for help something that a lot of
people are too afraid to do they have
too much pride they're stubborn but
asking for help and I respected and
acknowledge you for that because it
takes courage to do so I'm gonna share
with you my response and what my
impression is of this the first thing
venice' that I want you to understand is
that no matter what you've been through
in your life no matter what your past
has been no matter how much you failed
no matter what other people have said no
matter any of that that none of that
matters none of that matters today
because today is a brand new moment it's
a brand new opportunity your past is
dead and gone you have no control over
that so there's no point focusing on it
and as Tony Robbins says your past does
not equal your future not unless you
live there you can't drive into the
future of your life looking at the
rearview mirror because they're always
going to be held back by that so you've
got to understand that your past as
painful as it might have been there's
value in that that you can take and
extract and learn from it to take with
you to make yourself better today
that's all you can
that's the only value that your pet your
past can provide for you and you've got
to let go of everything else and
understand today is a new moment a new
opportunity for you to be the person you
want to be and create the life you want
that all your past has done is prepared
me for this moment it's prepared you for
the future success that is waiting for
you and beckoning you until you finally
get to the point of just getting over it
and moving forward it's there it's
waiting for you venice' it's like your
future is there your future you is
saying come on you can do it I believe
in you you're so close and all you got
to do is just continue to trust and keep
moving forward
did you know that every single year your
entire body every cell every atom of
your body is renewed your body is
constantly renewing itself you're
technically a brand new person today a
different person today than you were a
year from now the only reason why your
life and other people's lives looks the
same is that we keep running the same
patterns the same habits that make it
seem like our life is the same as it was
before but again right now you can take
on new beliefs a new mindset new
identity for yourself that can truly
change your entire life you can take new
actions to create the life you want
you've got to stop living from your past
you know I've been through many moments
in my life I remember when I was young
and I got picked on a lot when I was in
high school went to three different high
schools it's very challenging I always
felt like I was the the outsider and I
didn't have much confidence I was very
shy I had other kids that saw me as a
target to make fun of me as a way to
elevate their status and to feel better
and look cool in front of everyone else
and so I got bullied and kids would say
you know you're stupid or an idiot
you're ugly they'd say those things are
a loser because I didn't know who I was
I didn't have a strong identity and
belief system I allowed their opinions
to define who I was I got to a point
right I thought well I guess they're
right maybe
I am stupid maybe I am ugly maybe I am a
loser and I started to believe it I
started to allow that to infect my mind
and my psyche
and I got to a point where I realized
how stupid that was that there's no one
that can define who I am but me I'm in
charge of my life and who I am I get to
decide who I want to be I get to decide
which belief system serve me in my life
that I have this operating system this
hardware and I get to upload into it the
software that I want the apps that I
want that will serve and empower me and
there that there's a virus I'm
gonna delete that because it's
infecting the entire operating system
preventing all the other software and
apps from running successfully so that's
just a virus that's entered into your
mind that you got it get rid of it and
you decide what you want to be I
remember I remember when I was 18 19
years old I took out a piece of paper
and I wrote down this is Who I am if I
can be whoever I want to be then this is
who I'm gonna be from this day forward
and I wrote down I am confident I am
attractive I'm intelligent I have
potential I can be successful I am a
success right now today I am worthy I am
good enough I am happy I am grateful all
of that that I wanted to be I made a
decision to be that way just by deciding
to it's a choice that you make you have
that power and that ability maybe no one
told you that you have that ability but
you do you get to decide the story for
your life and which stories will empower
and serve you I'm only concerned about
belief systems that will empower my life
because our life our interpretation of
life our reality is only our perception
that's it nothing has any meaning but
the meaning that we give it
we are the meaning makers of our life we
get it interpret these events and you
know what people that are successful
have done because everyone that's been
successful I want to tell you they've
also been through a lot of adversity
they've also had other people that
told them they're not going to succeed
that they're stupid they're a defect all
of that they've had toxic
people in their life - don't be deluded
to think that they had anything any
easier than you have the difference
though between success and failure is
that they didn't let that stop them they
acted in spite of it
they took charge of their mindset in
their psychology and they they went for
it anyways they used that negativity as
fuel and motivation to prove them wrong
you know if you look at a Michael Jordan
he was cut from his high school
basketball team he could have given up
right then and there but he decided to
use that as motivation to become the
best basketball player of all time
if you look at all the other people
throughout history whether it's a Thomas
Edison you know who thought you know the
teachers said he's not going to amount
to anything in his life that his parents
you know thought he was stupid and an
idiot and all these negative things he
had to go through but he didn't let that
stop him he just kept moving forward in
his life because he never lost that
belief in that faith never stopped
believing in herself you don't need
other people to believe in to you you've
got to believe in you that's all that
matters is you believing in yourself
regardless of what everyone else thinks
another thing I want to mention here is
you've got to be very careful of
metaphors all metaphors have limits so
when you say there's a few metaphors you
had is that you have a poisonous bug in
your head that's not true you're making
that up you're making that up and
whatever you make up in your mind use
metaphors you hypnotize yourself to
believing that is true there's no bug in
your head okay stop using that metaphor
another metaphor that you had is that
you're competing with the brick wall
again it's another metaphor that's not
true
you see how we create stories that keep
us stuck they trap us you've got to get
to the truth what is the truth the truth
will always set you free
see this is all you know stories that
you're creating the truth is that you
are capable of success the truth is is
that you can
anything that you set your mind to
there's been thousands if not millions
of examples throughout history of people
that had defied the odds and overcome
adversity and struggle in their life
that become successful and you can to
that have in fact even been to a lot
worse than you and I have and they
become inspirations for us so the truth
is is that if they can do it than you
can as well the truth is that you have
the potential the truth is that you have
the resources that are available to you
but you've got to reassociate yourself
with the truth and not buy into the
stories of your mind because listen you
got to understand that your brain your
mind is not designed to make you
successful or happy it's not going to do
any of that for you that's your job your
brain is a survival mechanism that's
been around to keep you safe and
comfortable to protect you
so it's always gonna look for what's
missing it's always gonna look for
what's wrong it's always gonna look out
and point out negative things and
potential threats and dangers as a way
to protect yourself fear is a good thing
fear is what has kept us safe and alive
to this point throughout humanity and
through history it's done its job but we
live in a different world today where
that that fear doesn't serve us in the
same way because we don't face the same
dangers that we did thousands of years
ago so you've got to understand your
mind is always gonna look for what's
wrong it's always gonna create BS it's
always gonna have negative thoughts you
cannot win that battle you wrote here
they're trying to kill the bug you'll
never win that in fact whatever you
resist will persist the more that you
try to fight it the worse that'll get
the solution to it is not to listen to
it is understand that your thoughts are
not your thoughts okay your thoughts are
just your mind trying to warn you of
things and protect you and all you got
to do is you hear the thought you say
thank you for sharing thank you for
sharing thank you for sharing anything
disempowering that comes up delete
delete and you know what it goes away it
gets smaller you know there's Buddhist
principles of meditation and calming the
mind
learning to calm the mind the world we
live in today our mind is overactive we
got to learn how to calm the mind and
learn how to observe our thoughts and
have non judgement towards them not
attached to any of them that that's a
training you can do if you don't
meditate already you should I don't know
how anyone cannot meditate today in the
world we live in of Technology and eight
you know distraction and you know things
that are basically making us have ADHD
it's insane that our brains aren't
mentally prepared to deal in this world
that we live in today and we've got to
consciously learn how to calm the mind
through meditation and getting out of
our head as much and more living in our
body and our heart and our spirit
because there's no limits to that so the
truth is venice' you can be do you have
an experience anything you want you've
been through a lot of pain you're
allowing your past to control you and
you're believing your past you're
believing these thoughts in your head
instead of disassociating from them you
got to understand your mind it's like a
century on a ship a century on a ship
its job just like your mind is to point
out threats look out for this look go
for that watch out you know you're not
good enough watch out for the failure be
careful here and there that's your mind
doing its thing but you've got to
remember that you are the captain of the
ship you are the captain you direct the
ship not the century the century is just
warning you of things your mind is like
an over worried mother you listen it too
much it's going to drive you crazy
so be careful with that and understand
when other people say these things
you've got to have a filter in your head
you got to ask yourself if I were to
wake up tomorrow and have their life
would I be happy if the answer is no
then you don't listen to those
people you know your mom even though she
might be an amazing person she's
projecting her model of the world her
limiting beliefs around rich people and
selfishness they're selfish and evil
projecting it onto you but you got to
ask yourself do you want the life that
she has that the answer's no you can
love your mom but you should not listen
to her you know I'm grateful I didn't
listen to other family members and
people out there as well because I'd
have
life and not the life of my potential in
the life that I want so be very careful
of that as well you know I also want you
to let you know that I mentioned that
the people that are successful they've
gone through those same hurdles and they
decided not to let that stop them in
fact they used that pain to drive and
fuel them that's what makes an
inspiration right now you have an
opportunity be an inspiration to others
because no one's inspired about the
person that had the easy path of success
that doesn't inspire anyone they're
inspired by the person that hit rock
bottom the person that lost everything
the person that had so much adversity so
many hurdles and they overcame it they
conquered it and they succeeded in spite
of that that is what becomes a role
model and an inspiration to everyone
else you have that opportunity right now
and you've got to know that you know
success is not like this okay there will
be bad days there'll be challenges it
sounds like you're doing a lot of great
things that you're getting momentum but
you're beating yourself up you do well
for a week and then you have a bad day
and you're beating yourself up listen
that's okay you're you're not
acknowledging the good week that you had
you're not acknowledging all the good
that you did you can't build success off
of failure you build success off success
you get momentum from it the good that
you're doing when you focus on it you
reinforce it and you want to do more
because whatever gets rewarded gets
repeated so as long as you keep beating
yourself up for having a bad day from
not being perfect your brain is gonna
think why even try why even bother all
I'm getting is pain for trying
acknowledge and celebrate the progress
that you've made you know you had a week
that you said you're feeling successful
you're doing a lot of great things and
you had a bad day and and you decided
that out of that one bad day you became
you know a little bit too dramatic about
it it sounds like where you're like oh
you know success isn't for me maybe I am
a defect all that all you had it was a
bad day don't make it bigger than it is
okay you're not acknowledging the great
week that you had all the good that you
had and you've got to feed off that
and one thing that I'd recommend you do
is is every day focus on all the good
that you did that day acknowledge and
reward yourself every day for it for me
I acknowledge myself with the littlest
things that I do if I go to the gym I am
so happy and proud of myself for doing
that even though I've been to the gym a
thousand times I'm proud of myself like
it's the first time I don't take for
granted the fact that I push myself to
go to the gym that day I pat myself in
the back I look myself in the mirror I
say great job Steph and I'm proud of you
don't wait for anyone else to give you
that acknowledgement because you might
not get it from your parents from your
peers from everyone else you've got to
give that to yourself that's your job
acknowledge yourself for the good that
you're doing right down keep track I
went to the gym this day I I did my
morning ritual I woke up early I ate a
healthy meal today
I took this action in my life this
action in my business every little thing
the more you acknowledge it and reward
yourself for it and celebrate it the
more of that you will have and bring
into your life the more you will attract
into your life instead of going a whole
week and then beating yourself up
because you're not perfect you had a bad
day and then making things a lot bigger
than it really needs to be so like I
said success is not like this it's like
you're making progress and then you make
a drop a drop a dip right you get
frustrated you beat yourself up and then
you make progress again get back on
track and then you fall off and you get
back on track and it's that process over
time that gets you to where you want to
go I said in another video that success
is going from failure to failure to
failure to failure without losing
enthusiasm along the way that's the -
that you've got to have and understand
there really is no failure you've got to
embrace it as a learning opportunity as
feedback that makes you better and
stronger and equips you for future
success that's how every person that's
successful is always looked at it so the
mindset that you've got to adopt is
really what you need to get to where you
want to go and just take in the beliefs
that you need and want that will empower
you I recommend write out the beliefs
that you want that will serve you in
your life whatever beliefs those are I
am confident I am good enough I am
unstoppable whatever that is for you
that excites you that you want to have
that you need
get to where you want to go say them out
loud every day as affirmations speak
them out loud with intensity with
enthusiasm and engrained those in your
psyche because all the negative
the only reason why you believe it
other people set it to you or you said
it enough times to yourself where you
believed it and you've got to rewrite
that program delete that virus upload
the software you need by doing
affirmations every day to feed your mind
with the belief systems that you need
that will empower your life do that
every day for 30 days that will empower
you in fact one thing that I want to
give you benissa as a gift is my morning
ritual mastery course I've got a course
called morning ritual mastery I'll send
it to you for free it's a seven-day
program that will teach you how to
create an empowering ritual in your life
this is how I shape myself in my life
but doing it for over 16 years every
morning i conditioned myself my mindset
to be the person I want to be every day
I'm getting better every day
I'm conditioning the beliefs the
mentality the body the spirit everything
the emotions that I need to to be the
person that I want to strive and become
become in my life so listen I'll hook
you up with that program that will
benefit you you know but create a
morning ritual to condition yourself and
set yourself up and and start to love
yourself love yourself a lot more love
yourself unconditionally you know if
you're beating yourself up it's a recipe
for pain and failure and you're not
gonna get to where you want to go and
understand that success is a process
it's different for everybody don't be
attached to the result understand and
appreciate the process along the way the
process will lead to the results I've
shared this before when I first started
learning internet marketing it took me
three years before I really made any
money 3 years of learning and trying and
laziness and overcoming procrastination
all the I had to deal with that
prevented me from succeeding some people
they've already got that right some
people they're just they didn't have to
go through it you and I went through and
they have an opportunity to start a
business it's easy for them but for
someone like myself and many others we
have demons from our past and limiting
habits and fears and and all these
things that we had to overcome and
everyone has a different journey and and
because I went through that
and I made it to the other side of where
I am today I could be an inspiration to
everyone else and impact millions of
people's lives so I look at the the pain
and the failure the challenges I went
through I'm so grateful I did not give
up and I kept my faith and belief alive
because it made me who I am
and it has allowed me to be able to be a
role model and fulfill my true destiny
and mission and there's a destiny for
you as well there's a mission as a
purpose for you this is all part of the
plan this is all part of the journey
nothing happens by mistake
everything happens the way it's supposed
to and everything in life has a purpose
and it's serving you if decide to let it
serve you in your life it's empowering
you so you're just gonna find what that
good is and keep reminding yourself of
what you want and where you want to be
and keep making progress keep learning
keep growing keep taking action keep
investing in yourself get the help that
you need get the mentorship get the
coaching work on your mindset have the
self-awareness do your rituals every day
it's a process it took me many years so
don't give up keep going I believe in
you I believe in you and sometimes it's
just that one opportunity that you need
maybe it's not what you're doing right
now maybe there's another opportunity
that comes up and maybe it's not maybe
you invest in the next opportunity and
maybe it's not for you that's okay keep
going until you find the one that is
your big break and is your big success
because I tried many things before I
succeeded many different things but I
just didn't give up I kept trying the
next thing and the next thing the next
thing and before you know what I found
what my gifts were and my purpose my
mission was and it changed everything
for me so so trust the process keep
going through the process keep working
and growing and improving yourself and
you'll be there you'll be there and if
anything else you got to look at who
you're becoming along the way because
man that the character that you're
developing the confidence the beliefs
the the versatility the resilience that
determination
all of those character traits that
you're developing right now is so
valuable will serve you I look at my
days of desperation and pain and
hardship as my greatest times my
greatest days I learned so much from
that those are my greatest moments more
than any moment of success because I
learned so much and are shaped so much
by that than any other time in my life
so keep going keep your eyes on the
horizon forget about the past let's
learn from it keep your eyes moving
forward on where you want to go and
don't lose sight of that
so venice' thank you so much for
watching I believe in you everyone else
that's watching this as well hopefully
this can inspire and serve you if you
enjoyed this of course give a thumbs up
leave a comment below give some support
to venice' and if you want more videos
like this subscribe to the channel
thanks for watching
you
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