hey guys Stefan here from project life
mastery comm in this video I want to
talk to you a little bit about
commitment and keeping your word I
in Vancouver that was called a society
of protectors and it was a seminar for
men it was a small group workshop that
we did and it's kind of like an
underground thing but I was basically
teaching masculinity you know what it
means to be a man how to develop your
character as a man and be more honorable
being someone s serving a greater cause
in the world you know someone that is
taking responsibility and ownership for
things in their life they're not blaming
or making excuses and they're committing
to things in their life and they're
using that power they have in keeping
the word so is a great seminar a great
workshop workshop that I attended and I
got a lot of great value from it and met
a lot of great people but on the topic
of commitment we talked a lot about that
and I think it's a really important
subject because I think we live in a
world that is somewhat non-committal you
know people in a way they enjoy
committing to things you know then they
just kind of use that so freely
you know they commit to new goals new
ideas new projects new businesses take
over lunch for that with that person to
go to the gym etc etc and the challenge
is most people break those commitments
they break their work they're flaky and
every time you do that every time you
commit you commit to something the great
thing is is that you're using your power
or yielding your power as a person and
that's a good thing it's a great thing
to commit to things however when you
break your commitments you break your
word and you said that you're gonna do
this but you don't do it you're losing
your power you're giving away your power
and what happens is you're also hurting
yourself and hurting other people so let
me give you an example of this let's say
that you know you and I we decide to go
to lunch tomorrow and I commit to you
let's go to lunch at noon
and the next day before our meeting I
cancel and I say hey I can't go and then
I commit to you again let's you know
reschedule for Thursday and I commit to
that I give you my word and then I break
that commitment as yet again I have some
sort of excuse of why I can't be there
and then I commit again to lunch next
week
and sure enough I break that commitment
and break that promise as well now let
me ask you what's gonna happen every
time I do that
how are you gonna feel about me probably
not that good you're gonna just start to
believe that I'm not very reliable
then I'm not someone that keeps his word
that keeps his commitment and sure
enough I said if I said hey L'Etoile
let's get for lunch two weeks from now
you're not really gonna believe that I'm
gonna show up for it you're gonna lose
that trust in me as a person and it's
gonna change the way that you perceive
me and so if I keep committing to things
like that to you and I break that
commitment then I'm just an unreliable
untrustworthy person that can't be
depended on in any way I'm a flaky
person and I personally can't stand
people like that I've been guilty of
that in some areas of my life just over
committing to certain things and not
being able to follow through on those
commitments which is can be a very
dangerous habit to be in but what also
happens when you do that not only do you
hurt that other person's perception the
relationship how they perceive you trust
you the dependability as a person but
you're also hurting yourself
you see when you commit to things and
you don't follow through you're hurting
yourself you're losing your self-esteem
your self-esteem weakens your confidence
weakens your ability to believe that you
can do this take action in it and it's
done
that's first to diminish itself and
we've made commitments all the time to
ourselves right at least to other people
we commit to someone and we're more
likely to show up because we don't want
to let someone else down however when
you commit to yourself and you say today
I'm gonna go to the gym today I'm gonna
work on my online business today I'm
gonna call that friend I'm gonna call
that client I'm going to you know I'm
gonna do my morning ritual whatever I'm
gonna read for 30 minutes when you
commit to these things in your head and
on your to-do list your plan or all that
sort of stuff and then you break those
commitments and you have your excuses
and your reasons and you blame and you
say well I can't work out today because
I'm tired because I don't feel like it
because I don't have the time etc etc
etc what happens is you're hurting your
self-esteem
you're losing your power as a person and
what happens is over the long term is
when you commit to a goal you commit to
doing this going to the gym to losing
weight to making money online building a
business when you commit to it you know
in the back of your head that you're not
gonna follow through you already know
that
it's not gonna get done because you've
now built and established that
reputation the habit of committing to
things and not falling through again I
love the phrase of the dabbler you know
I use that quite a bit in my videos
you're basically become a dabbler
somebody that just kind of stays at the
surface of things they never go deep
they dabble in their life they don't
take consistent action they don't commit
to things fully committing to something
doesn't mean that you say I'm gonna do
this or that but it actually means I'm
doing it
committing means that there's no other
option there's no backdoor you're
burning the boats and then it's gonna
get done no matter what
so that's really what a commitment is
and when you use your commitment and you
make your word and your commitments
throughout your life you have to make
sure that you're keeping it you have to
make sure that you're following through
on what you say you're gonna do because
whenever you do follow through on what
you say you're building those muscles
you're building that confidence or
self-esteem you're using your power you
feel amazing in your life because you're
following through on what you've said
I'm sure every time that's happened to
you what you said I'm gonna go to the
gym what you know I'm gonna read this
book I'm gonna do this I'm gonna invest
in this I'm gonna take action to my
business every time you did you felt
great afterwards didn't you you always
feel great you feel proud of yourself in
a way but sure enough again when you
both when you don't follow through how
do you feel you probably feel like
right you feel like you know you feel
like you're worthless so you feel like
you're not making progress you know you
just come you're a failure in some way
you know so I've learned that when you
commit to things you have to treat it
very seriously but also you got to be
careful with your commitments you don't
want to over commit to things be careful
you can't be a people pleaser you know
I've suffered from that throat you know
a lot of my life you know even though my
blog my business you know people calling
me up they want to do this deal with me
they want to hang out with me they want
to go for lunch they have this question
for me and I've just said yes yes yes
it's yes to everybody over committing
myself and then I get myself in a
position where I can't deliver on all
these commitments all these promises
that I made and I really just said yes
because I wanted to make everyone happy
and sure enough you know in the long
term when you break people's commitments
and your word then they end up not
liking you that much so again that's why
you got to be care
fool with what you commit - you have to
make sure that you're selective about
that for me what I find is that I commit
to a lot fewer things but when I commit
to things man I go full in I I get it
done no matter what you know I get my
goals done you might see on my blog I
achieve my goals not all of them there
are some goals that you know I'd get
delayed or etc but 80% of them or maybe
even 90% I achieve you know all the the
actions and stuff throughout that day
I'm achieving 80 to 90% of them I don't
think you can ever be a hundred percent
because they're you know life happens
things happen stuff like that that get
in the way sometimes but you know 80 90
percent
I definitely think is attainable so I've
learned to say no to a lot of things I
learn to say no when someone asked me
hey can I take you for lunch you know
can I you know you want to hang out or
whatever not unless it's aligned with my
vision what I want to create accomplish
and you know depending on where the
person is coming from whether they're
just have the mentality of taking from
me and sucking up my energy I'll say no
to that I'll turn down decline certain
things like that as well you know and
that's I guess being the opposite of
being a people pleaser is having
boundaries sometimes people won't like
that they might get offended or whatever
but that's okay you have to focus in on
what's most important to you in your
life and commit to the most important
things that you believe are gonna make
the biggest difference in your life and
other people's lives as well so I just
want to leave you with that you know
look at your character look at how
you're showing up in your life look at
your commitments that you're making and
whether or not you're breaking them
because if you are someone that's not
following through it's not keeping his
word not committing you know fully
committing to things and following
through on it then you really have to
look at your character you have to
really look at yourself and why that is
why you know why is that you know why
are you coming up short on these
commitments what's holding you back what
are your fears you really have to
dissect what's going on there and start
to develop the habit of being something
that falls to reconvince two things
fully I think it's great to have certain
things in your day-to-day life
commitments that you make to yourself
and other people that help you yield
power and build that muscle you know for
me it's my morning rituals I got my
mastermind group I've got my to-do list
I plan out things I got my goals and
everything and every time that I do
these activities I falter I go to the
gym each day I read this book I do this
I do that it's building up more and more
momentum confidence self-esteem yielding
my power and it's allowing me to grow
it's allowing me to again become more of
a person that can commit to things and
be a leader in this world so that's what
I want to leave with you guys today
thinking about how you're showing up in
your life and your commitment your word
and just making sure you're being
consistent with that and look at how
you're showing up you know and just
making sure you're upping your game so
hopefully this has helped you in some
way I want to invite you to subscribe to
this YouTube channel if you want more
great videos like this as well as the
email list that I have the life mastery
toolkit there'll be a link in this
description for that as well but thank
you again and I'll talk to you soon bye
you
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