hey this is Stefan and I'm Tatiana and
happy Valentine's a week we want to
invite you guys to our relationship
series that we've been sharing over the
last few videos and for those of you
that don't yet know this is my beautiful
lovely Queen Tatiana
and she has an amazing YouTube channel
called Lux health thank you and this is
my King Stefan and those of you who are
from my channel and I've never shown him
before he is my prized possession my
boyfriend and then his channel is
project life masteries go we are here
today and we are just showing you part
of the last video in our series and this
is going to be really awesome for you
and we're talking about today how to
better communicate with your partner how
to create deeper communication and how
to create more connection more love and
this is part four of our video series
and we have a playlist where if you want
to watch the videos we've done before
them out we've done one on how to
attract the right partner in your life
how did how to create an amazing
relationship that lasts how to create
passion and today we're going to talk
all about how to better communicate and
understand your partner and if you got a
lot of great exercise and rituals to
share yeah and I'm so excited that we
get to end this with this video because
important the most important thing I
think is communication because you can
have an amazing relationship but if you
lack communication things aren't going
to go very far and and you might get
into some conflict so we're so fast to
be sharing this with you today and if
you do enjoy this video or if you liked
our series definitely like comment and
subscribe and let us know in the
comments that if you want to see more of
us together or if you want to see more
videos on relationships or whatever
topics or just to collaborate or
together to yeah and I'm thinking we
could do more some funny videos you know
some things about our life and let you
guys in a little bit more yeah and by
the way before we get into a 1-1 just
kind of tip that I found useful for our
relationship that we kind of kicking us
off with is use nicknames for your
partner you know they make it more fun
or exciting or passion
are more energy to it you know there's
times where I referred to her as my
queen or my goddess or my love or my
babe or my baby or my sweetie or my hon
you know and everyone maybe has
different you know the names that speak
to them that resonate with them that
create the energy that emotion but you
know this times where I like her you
know for her to call me her king or her
lawyer or whatever it is the name that
you choose your partner I think of a
name that empowers them yeah I call him
my king my warrior my date but these
these names are really like very
masculine and very majestic in it and
powerful and I think that this can be
kind of a little bit of a boost of
confidence and a sense so try and think
of that for your partner as well and ask
them you know ask us be arresting a
resonates with them because again this
is all about no right or wrong but you
know what is going to create more
passion more love a better quality
relationship for you and everything you
know that empowers the relationship and
serves that you want to you know you
want to take advantage of so the first
thing we want to share to you guys one
framework that's been really helpful for
us has been the five love languages by
Gary Chapman and if you haven't heard of
this book before I highly recommend it
is a book that we both read early on in
a relationship is in the first few
months we both read it in both
understood each other's each other's
love language but we've talked before in
a previous video but that relationship
is all about giving to your other
partner giving to them is all about them
the third level relationship which is
unconditional love and you have to
understand that your partner everyone
has their own love language something
that makes them feel loved and so to
share with you the five love languages
first one is words of affirmation and so
some people to feel love they need words
of affirmation praise compliments saying
that I love you that makes them feel
loved other people it's physical touch
they need to feel touched by the other
person whether it's hand-holding or this
makes them feel loved or holding or
or whatever it is totally with the other
person maybe that's their love language
as the third one is quality time so
making sure you're actually spending
quality time which is full undivided
attention presents you're not on the
phone you're not you know doing other
things but you actually spending quality
time with your partner the fourth one is
acts of service
so that's doing things for your
apartment is cooking dinner for them or
cleaning up you know after them or you
know maybe you get me it's even you know
making of that setting the back of some
puddles you have a mess in the bed you
know things like that you know small
thing yeah and that last one is gift
soap out buying gifts whether that
flowers or chocolates or Hillary jewelry
you know whatever types of gifts and
it's really important understand this
because you might have one love language
of how you feel love but it might be
totally off it's totally different than
your partner yeah and so you got to
identify what does it talk to for your
partner that makes them feel loved
so for me for example number one is
words of affirmation and never choose is
physical touch right so I need that
praise for those compliments and you
know the words to feel loved right you
know and you might you know for one
person that might say I don't care if
you say I love me I want you to show it
I want me to spend time with me another
person might say we're spending time
with me but you never say that I love
you so it's different for everyone
totally yeah it's so important to notice
and identify this early on in
relationship and if you're just I mean
now he's married for 40 years this is
still really valuable knowledge to have
so you know for me it's like if I'm
giving him you know gifts all the time
so for example you know some people they
don't have the time to spend in a
relationship so they try to compensate
by buying gifts so if I'm you know
coming home from work and I miss dinner
I was late for dinner so instead I drop
by the store and buy some roses and some
chocolate I give that to him I might
think that you know for him that means
that I love him but for him it means
nothing because
he doesn't care about gifts so for me if
you know generally you understand that
the one that you give is usually what
you like to receive that probably means
that I value gift so for usually the top
two that you give to your partner is
usually what you want to receive so
personally for me I like quality time
and words of affirmation so I have a
tendency to give that more than the
other ones but I can't stick to that I
have to make sure that I identify what
his are because his can be completely
different maybe his are a gift and acts
of service so I need to know those
things be conscious of it
so that when I want to give him love I
give him love in the way that he wants
to receive it in the way that he
understands it you might not understand
the way Einar
under I understand it so that's really
important to know so when I want to give
him love now if I want to give them an
extra you know extra loving then I know
how to do that and it's not through
Eno's gifts or or acts of service right
and we also possible for in a previous
video about having rituals for your
relationship and how valuable that is
and this is something that we do to
check in on each other on a weekly or
bi-weekly basis so we'll check in see if
we know what one another and find out
you know how how lovely you feel you
know on a scale from zero to ten in
terms of you know words of affirmation
you know do you need more of that you
know if you need more physical touch
being more quality time or more acts of
service word gift again it's all of
those trying to serve your partner and
and have you be awareness to pay
attention to what they need and ideally
do anticipate what they need before you
know eighty to get to that point so
anticipating okay this is what my
partner needs they need some quality
time they need some present he needs
physical touch she needs me to really
tell him that I love him by giving him
you know back rub or Naha
we highly isn't it oh yeah but you know
an example for you guys is September
21st 2016 this is our relationship
Journal which we discussed in a previous
video check it out so he was at a 9.5
for quality time at a 10 and I asked him
Stefan what can I do to give you more
quality time and he told me that he
wants me to put down my phone turn the
phone off
divided attention you can have time your
partner but maybe it's not quality time
right you might be any expert ending
time but maybe they're just always on
their phone they're always distracted
they're always watching the game and so
you don't feel that connection you don't
feel that quality times or haven't your
partner totally like you can you know
take your beautiful wife up to a dinner
and you know you think that you're
giving your quality time but if you're
checking your business emails every 20
minutes she's going to notice that and
it's not going to make her feel very
precious it's not going to make her feel
like she's a queen it's going to make
her feel secondary to your to your
business on the time that you're
devoting to her so make sure that if you
do set time aside for your partner make
sure that it is quality time and it's
undivided attention because we don't
like half-assed hot
nobody wants half-assed time that you
want to give your your partner at the
time that they deserve the quality and
it's all about understanding your
partner more - because you know you
might be thinking why I spent time with
you or I'm doing this or I'm doing that
and you get upset you too angry for
partner and you got to understand that
if they feel a certain way that you
can't make them wrong for that
you know if they not they're not feeling
connected to you if they're not feeling
like you know the tough give they're not
getting loved instead of getting angry
at your partner you got to take
responsibility for yourself
and you're going to look at okay that's
how they feel you know it doesn't matter
what I think
that's how they feel and so I got to
understand her and think okay well what
can I do to to meet your needs better to
help give you more love to help to feel
more loved and I need to listen I need
to listen to her I need to find out what
her model of the world is how I can make
her feel a certain way it's sort of
based on how I stink you know is the
right way of doing it okay doesn't
matter what I think it's all about what
she
yeah and you know an example for a woman
you know if you just type into the 16
minutes which we talked about in the
previous video but you know if you had
struggles with your man and he's looking
at other women you know walking down the
street he needs insurance of aside and
it looks more new feels you know
self-conscious about that you're not
happy about that
well I mean first of all men is a
natural instinct but secondly to
understand that you have to take
responsibility for that and of course
there's an extent to that but if you
know you're in a great relationship then
it's all of a sudden happens and you
have to say okay what happened in the
last couple months you know what's been
going on and so I take responsibility
for that then I realized that maybe I
need to give him more variety you know
maybe he's looking at that other girl
because he wants thriving his life and
you know you don't have to do to an
extent if you know how many more
partners you relationship but what you
can do is give a variety you know
dressed up differently you know you know
spice it up in the bedroom do certain
things to give variety to your partner
maybe surprise him on a date do things
like that and you might notice that that
behavior improved so you take
responsibility to change what you're not
feeling comfortable about yeah and I
think another important piece you want
to talk about in this video is
communication which is the foundation to
the relationship you have to have honest
communication you have to have open
communication because if you fail to
communicate then you know you're not
going to be able to express how you feel
right so part of this just communicating
part of this having those rituals what
you do but we want to share see God as
an exercise a process that we learn that
allows you to have a deeper level of
communication it is something that we
recently learned and started doing in a
relationship and we actually learned it
from our friend Satya Raja and Suzanne
Raja who are amazing human beings and
you know they have a lot of powerful
stuff when it comes to relationships
recommending but and they taught us is
that it's hard to retreat and they're
there programs called warrior stage
don't you check them up for sure yeah so
we want to share through a process
called dyad and dyad is dy ad I believe
and it's it's a process where you
basically we each ask we'll demonstrate
it for you but will you ask a question
okay it could be any question you know
there's different types of diets can do
in this case we'll demonstrate three
questions the last of the partner and
really it's a place for your partner to
communicate whatever it is that comes up
for them no right or wrong it's not a
dialogue it's not back-and-forth
communication it's allowing them to
express and communicate and then your
job is just to listen and to understand
and just say thank you not to judge not
to make it right or wrong just don't
really understand okay so we'll do a
dyad right now yeah and also most
importantly I think it's just that when
you do a diet you can you can bring
topics up that you would otherwise be a
little bit more afraid to bring up and
then you also let your partner off the
hook so your partner isn't on the spot
to give you an answer to respond to that
so it's good for both parties so the
three questions we're going to ask first
is so whatever I ask my partner first is
what's something that you like about me
okay and then I'm going to allow her to
respond whatever way the second question
is what is what you see what's something
that you think that we agree upon okay
and then the third question is tell me
something about yourself that you want
me to understand
okay so we'll demonstrate it right now
and throughout this process this is
brief you practice your undivided
attention you look them right in the eye
you don't scatter your eyes thinking
about other things you just give
presents tell me something that you like
about me
[Music]
I just really love the way you smile it
just lights up the room it's so big and
beautiful and it brings me so much joy
and I really love it thank you
tell me something that you think we both
agree upon
I think we both agree upon our vision
our vision for life weary of higher
goals you know what we want to do when
we have a vision for our relationships
we know where we want to take things and
very in line with that thank you so
notice it's not a dialogue I'm just
listening understanding just saying
thank you that's it or thank you or or
clarify verify that or could you repeat
that those are the only three things
that you can say yes tell me something
but you want me to understand about you
I want you to understand that having a
business can put me really in a
masculine state and I'm really working
hard to making sure that I switch that
when I see you and make them do my best
offer to put myself back into that
feminine fun flirty carefree type stage
thank you and now we're going to revert
and then by the way it probably does a
little bit dark in here so if the
lighting is going down the Sun is going
down a little bit
let me try to adjust this for you guys I
race against time at the Sun yeah okay
sorry
so that should be a lot better tell me
something you like about me
as love your energy you know areas have
such a free energy as such a positive
energy such an infectious energy that
whenever I'm around you would just
uplift me I could be in a certain state
or whatever it is but there you know you
have such a pure positive loving
supportive energy and I feel like when
I'm with you but I also peel it away
from you - thank you tell me something
you think we agree upon
he just you know we both agree and share
our same mission you know what we're
doing here sharing with you guys and we
both agree how important this is you
know that to make a difference to serve
to help to share to learn to grow so
that we can serve and get more I think
we're both agreed upon there thank you
tell me something about yourself you
want me to understand
you know how important like things like
this are in our relationship like it's
just so important to have this you know
and like for me it's really important
for me like growth is so important in a
relationship and to make sure that we're
communicating and I know you already
understand it but it's just
understanding it even deeper like just
how valuable this is to do this and to
put our relationship as a highest
program thank you so that's an example
of a diet and what we do is we would go
back and forth though you know we
basically spend maybe 20 minutes 30
minutes going through this process and
again there's no dialogue you know it's
just and really feeling whatever comes
up you know like sometimes you go up you
know the best the benefit of this is
going to be you know going deeper deeper
same question again and again and again
you know for thirty minutes or an hour
where it's like just more things are
coming up for you more communication you
can even know you're learning your
partner at a much deeper level than ever
before not just on the surface you're
going deep now I'm learning more about
her and how she thinks and and I'm
learning about myself too I'm like how
like you're able to articulate things
and express things that are been within
cyber self and when you express it you
let it go it's amazing what that can do
not just for yourself but also for your
partner of you yeah and it's very
important that you make sure that there
is no dialogue so you want to make sure
that it's just thank you can you clarify
that or can you repeat that those are
the only answers that you can give and
that's how this process will work if you
start communicating it doesn't work no
communication like in that sense yeah
there's no arguing blaming judgment
none of that again you're just trying to
understand you know and not me make them
wrong for any of that sorry I don't mean
communicating this is or the whole
communication office I just mean know
I'm talking yeah so um there's many
other questions you could ask different
types of diets that you can do an
example of one but it's giving a little
bit dark here so I think we're
anything else already also so what is
good about the diet is this you know if
you're limbing and all some something
comes out or a man and say you know I'm
starting to feel embarrassed about
something are shameful and I don't have
the courage to bring it up to my partner
you can say please Stephanie do you
think we can do a diet today and then we
can start doing it and then through the
diet I can feel comfortable and in the
secure place to bring it up
so that's really important so we want to
say thank you to staff can and Suzanne
for for sharing us with us the diets
were really helpful and if you guys want
to check them out there warrior stage
yep for your favorite oh yeah so thank
you guys the box yeah you know having a
ritual for this whether it's every week
two weeks a month
you know Satya and Suzanne they do it
every day you know so it's like imagine
how powerful the communication is your
relationship is when you add a ritual
like this to your life totally and if
you want to be an amazing relationship
check out warrior stage on YouTube
because the two of them together oh my
gosh it's just that connection and that
passion scene we've been married for
they've been together for 30 years so
it's a lot of people don't have great
examples of relationships right they
don't have examples of passionate loving
relationships right and you need more of
that rather inches in your life that
should be example of what you want to be
alright well you want to thank you guys
so much for joining us for these videos
you know if you guys enjoyed it again
make sure you hit the thumbs up and
leave a comment let us know that you
want more videos like this or more
collaboration and love to have my love
war on my youtube channel and vice versa
I'd love to be able to speak to you know
the people that follow her and enjoy her
stuff yeah so if you guys let us know in
the comments on what kind of videos if
you do want to see more of us what kind
of videos you want us to do so we have
some ideas and we'll take every comment
into consideration yeah so thank you
guys so much again check out lux health
on youtube check out our previous videos
of part of the series subscribe for more
yeah and check out Kajal ice master and
youtube for everything you can do to
take your life to the next level coming
from this
right here so thanks for joining us our
Valentine week and we really appreciate
you taking the time to watch the full
series and we hope to do this again yep
awesome thank you
you
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