hey everyone this is stefan from project
life master calm today i'm excited to be
interviewing a good friend of mine
jordan gray from jordan grey consulting
com Jordans a good friend of mine he's
also a relationship coach here in
Vancouver it's got a great blog right
kindle ebooks great business that he has
helping both men and women how to
succeed more in their relationships and
from a really high conscious point just
how they can better that area of their
lives so I'm excited to talk to Jordan
today and welcome to the interview
excited to be here thanks for having
with Stefan cool so um maybe first
question is just you want to give some
background on how you got it started
becoming a relationship coach sure it's
a it's a fairly unique story in the way
that I've really always known that this
was the job I was going to have like
literally since I was seven years old
like since I basically formed memories I
always knew that I wanted to work in
this job that I also knew didn't exist
back then i can remember doing research
when i was in elementary school looking
into degrees or you know any kind of
like formal education that taught people
had a better relationships and i
couldn't find anything out there like i
could be a general therapist which is
too general or it could be a divorce
counselor which is too depressing and so
i basically just massively self-educated
my room was half books on everybody with
psychology relationship management human
sexuality motivation behavioral change
and yeah i basically from like 16 years
old onwards I just my life was you know
stuff educating being out of bed act and
learning what makes a relationship or
sex life thrive like not just you know
not just like exist and how do we get by
a not get divorced but you know a
positive psychology how do you like
really go above the waterline so yeah
occasion did you have anything that like
really motivated you to get into it like
for example you know you know I was a
dating coach and you've been as well but
for me like I know the pain of seeing my
destructive relationship they're
motivated me to get this area my life
handled and also for me in high school
like I had no success in relationships
with women you know what you know did
something like that motivate you to
really get this handle
somewhat from a from a different
perspective I had a very like healthy
familial upbringing where my my parents
my like both sets of grandparents and
basically all my uncle's like there was
no divorce in any my extended family and
I think I'm just a generally anxious
person and so when I see things working
really well and like I was the only
person of all my close friends that
wasn't a childhood divorce like my
parents were like strangely high
functioning and so I think that made me
feel anxious of like okay how do I make
sure that I can trend towards that like
what do they do differently then you
know the majority of couples are you
know half of couples that end up in
divorce s'okay just I needed to
reverse-engineer it and figure out why
what makes any relationship work and
yeah I just want to dig and do it myself
and not fall into it but like really
like a really skilled auto mechanic when
your car breaks down inside of the road
you always know how to fix it like
that's what I wanted to be with
relationships it's awesome and I I think
like the most important decision you
ever make in your life is who you spend
your life with and relationships for me
it's like the number one thing in my
life more than money like anything
because I think it just brings so much
fulfillment to your life more than
anything so I think like mastering this
air of your life as God it be one of the
most important things it touches
everything if there's even like a
75-year harvard study where they
followed people from like their 20s you
know into like they're like oldest age
and basically that was like it was a
million like millions of dollars in this
study and like they found like what
makes people actually happy it all comes
back to relationships like I've met tons
of you know multi millionaires so like
people have like half a billion dollars
and if didn't have those clothes infant
relationships like with really close
trustful friends and an intimate partner
then you know they were not thriving
people yeah I totally agree cool and
what would you say are some of the
biggest most important things people can
do to have an amazing relationship I'd
say the first most important thing is to
fall in love with yourself first like if
you don't have a good relationship with
yourself like it really is the
foundation that you build a skyscraper
on top of
and if you're building a skyscraper on
top of quicksand then no matter how
amazing or aligned or congruent of a
badass part of the meat that like would
be great for you if you have a total
lack of self care self-love self-esteem
if you're not really a big fan of
yourself if you're doing work that's
really I'm aligned with who you are in
your core then it doesn't matter who's
offered up to you you know even if you
could be married to them in an amazing
way if you don't like you then it's it's
really like next impossible to fall in
love with anyone if you don't love
yourself first totally is there certain
things people can do to improve the
relationship they have with themselves
yeah tons of things that's like its own
everyone call increasing self-love and
self-care I see the first thing is like
even just writing like notice like a
basic kind Robbins exercise no write
down a list of 25 things you love doing
and then acknowledge the fact you're
probably doing next to none of them like
it takes like all right love going to
movies by myself or go to the gym or
reading fiction books okay when was the
last time you did any of those Mike well
I don't know give me four months ago
it's like proactively investing in your
happiness rituals and really like if you
know you love go to the gym you haven't
done it in a month like your soul is
suffering every day by not being who you
know you can be totally you know you
know I totally agree with you actually
for me like part of my morning ritual is
based on this as well because I think
taking time for yourself each day to
really nurture yourself give yourself
everything that you need just to be at
your best and I always ask the question
you know if you love someone you know
what do you do you usually spend time
with them you compliment them you give
them stuff but like how often do we do
that for ourselves I'm often do we look
in the mirror and complement ourselves
or you know spend time with their cells
just doing things that can connect more
with ourselves so I love like just a
morning ritual or something to take care
of yourself and I you know I can relate
to this too because you know I know like
for example my sister who's married has
a kid you know oftentimes they'll spend
so much time like just busy doing all
this stuff but they don't take care of
themself and if you don't take care of
you it's like you can't give to your
partner your relationship other people
in your life if you're not taking care
of you yeah it's the overflowing love
above what you filled yourself up with
that you can you know truly give to
other people otherwise if you're not
taking care of yourself first and it's
just an imitation of love or like oh
like here's here's like an invented
scrap that I can you know poor my very
limited like already empty gas tank
energy into you but yeah in that
situation no one's really winning like
they're getting Invitational alive and
you're feeling totally drained and yeah
yeah and I think also like a lot of
people they're like they're very needy
and they like have a relationship be
like they need a relationship to be
hacked our son like that right and they
end up just like you know you got to
needy people and there is kind of like
so dependent on each other whereas if
you take two people that are like
independent their loving their life
they're happy then you put those people
together it's totally different dynamic
it's that force multiplier yeah it's
like you know if each person's like it's
like five times five equals 25 whereas
you know even one x 0 like one complete
person with an incomplete person equals
0 it drains both of you totally so what
have you found in terms of you know what
you found like can help make
relationships last like last longer for
you know cuz there are some couples
there's some people out there they're
together for like 80 years you know like
it's ridiculous and there's other people
there like going in and out of
relationships they're getting divorced
so what do you think are the things that
can help make that relationships last
long-term a good example of one thing
like as you're getting into the
relationship and then while you're
injured so the first one I think is
absolutely vital and a something that is
not talked about nearly enough in any
part of society is this idea that I have
of feeling compelled versus cornered it
is a very actually put an article a few
weeks ago that I saw you like and
comment on so I know you've heard the
content before but when you first you
know when you're first meet or you're
first getting to know that person you
might be interested in there's a very
tangible feeling and it's like it's
almost like tired cliche but you just
know but if you kind of feel like
cornered in the steps of like oh like
you know the first day was kind of fun
maybe I should text I maybe should hang
again or like I guess at the end of our
day I guess I like the thing to do is I
should kiss them now because that's what
people do like that feeling of being
cornered is so like limiting in stock
and just stagnant growth energy whereas
the feeling of being compelled it's that
like effortless slide we're just like
I'm aware of like the other options that
I have but you like it show you it's so
obvious there's no hesitation when you
ask them to like you know I officially
be your boyfriend or girlfriend like it
doesn't feel like oh like here's the
thing that I should do because I like
Jordan Stefan said that's good for
business and so I might as well have our
relationship like it is a very different
feeling when you're coming from that
face of self-love and completeness and
you meet someone else that you're like
wow I'd like them a lot and I just want
to make their life as amazing as
possible and they have that towards you
it's just that that that force
multiplier skyrocket affect that yeah
that feeling being compelled into it and
having it be effortless it's like that
has to be the foundation that's awesome
I don't you going then the the second
part of being in a relationship is I
touched on it alluded to a little bit
but that feeling of like focus on making
their lives better like don't be you
know just like this scorekeeping mindset
about like you know what have you done
for me lately like I wish they'd do this
for me more i would complement this or
you know give me more quality times like
what have you done for them lately like
wake up every morning if you're only in
tension within the area of your intern
relationship is you know how can i make
my girlfriend boyfriend spouses wife a
little bit better how can i put a smile
on their face how can i like bring them
one tiny step closer to their dreams if
that's your intention and you're both
doing it towards each other then you're
laughing like that's what makes
relationships really thrive and that's
what people do at the beginning right
like people do that the beginning it's
like you're so excited about the person
you're in love with them so you'll like
you know you'll text them you'll talk to
them or you'll give them more attention
you give to the more like all these
things that you do naturally at the
beginning of the relationship and one
good saying that I heard is that if you
do what you've done at the beginning
then there won't be an end so you know I
think just going back to that because I
think after a while people they lose
they like stop
shading their partner and they take them
for granted and all that he always have
to appreciate my video yeah totally yeah
and how about just passion you know cuz
I you know you one thing I hate is like
I have talked to people and they're like
yeah you know like it's always exciting
at the beginning in relationship and
then like 5-10 years there's no passion
and like there's a honeymoon phase and
even if that's true I refuse to believe
it because i don't think that supports
me in any way and there are couples that
are like together 50 years and they're
so in love they're so passionate they're
like high school kids it's disgusting
you know like yeah and like what are
your thoughts on that yeah I couldn't
agree more i think it's a total cop-out
we look oh yeah you just you know you
like each other this much because you've
only been dating for a couple years and
like I get it you know like sure like
that's your belief that's probably the
majority societies believe but you know
I think that you and I and probably
every single person who would be
watching this podcast just because i
believe is commonly accepted
society-wide means nothing like that
doesn't mean we need to follow it in any
way and yeah like in my one my last
books called teper castrated lead your
relationship to its maximum potential I
interviewed over 50 couples that hadn't
been married from ten to fifty six years
and again coming back to that like wider
relationships work I just want to dive
into like what do all of you do
differently and I saw so many shiny
examples of these couples that yeah some
of them been a lot of them had been
married from 25 to 55 years which my
most people standards is quite a length
of time and I heard every single day
from these couples in the interviewing
process things like even after 56 years
I'm still so excited to come home to my
husband and like there was no like I'm
just telling myself this or this is a
story they need to convince myself to
like not gonna divorce like they were
stoked like they love each other they
were yeah like they were coming in
public and just all about it cell phone
back to how to keep that passion
involved and there's two main things
making sure that you maintain some sense
of independence and autonomy that you
each have some piece of your separate
lives whether that's like you know a lot
of these couples head rituals like they
would have a weekly like like you know
like weekly guys night where he goes and
does whatever no they play poker or knit
look whatever they need to do they have
their guys night female partner has
their girls nights or they even have
like more meta like they might have like
a weekend or week long get away once a
year just like have that recharge time
so it was totally separate from the
partner because is that there's an
expression I lost myself in us like
there has to be you know you me and the
relationship is three entities it's not
just a word now like the amorphous blob
who called the relationship you're still
two people with your own you know senses
of self ideally in relationship with
drives yeah and the second part is just
a general sense of intentionality and I
think that Netflix is one of like the
worst things that ever happened to
modern couples because it's it's one of
those like just shut your brain off kind
of unintentional things you can do I'm
not saying like watching TV movies as a
couple's bad at all but I know that
there are a lot of couples that that's
kind of like date night now is like I
just huddle up under a blanket and watch
a netflix like five nights a week and
like that's so the opposite of
connection yeah it's an instant flow
state because it shuts your brain off
but you're not growing you're not
sharing new experiences and like even
making a half of those dates in or you
know time spent together into you know
taking a cooking class learning a new
skill taking in a new form of
entertainment going to an improv show
like anything that's a new shared
experience like this there's so many
benefits to it that I'm not gonna let's
go into it but yeah I totally agree i
think you know it kills creativity
because you just you're all your dates
become mundane the same you're sitting
at home watching a movie watching I
refuse to like get into any TV series
right because like everyone's into it
and I know like I'm gonna get sucked in
and it's just gonna become this uh this
just like I just you know you just get
addicted to like a show and just
consumed so much of your life and one
thing that's really helped me my
girlfriend is we have a bucket list for
our relationship you know we've already
done so much on that you know going to
Disneyland and like just crazy stuff but
we always have
do something every week on that bucket
list well it's it creates the variety
and the spontaneity and all that stuff
but yeah I can definitely relate because
I know in previous relationships it's
just like okay now let's just get
together and watch movies and sit around
and yeah I think it's good once in a
while but it you know it just takes away
as you said the connection the nudists
all that sort of stuff and I love that
you know we've talked about your
relationship off this call before and
like that even speaks to that feeling of
like being compelled like I've been the
same thing in relationships that I
didn't care about as much cuz it's like
ah like yeah I'm hanging out with them
so I guess we'll do whatever but the
relations like that on purpose
relationship do so start on those kinds
of passion projects are just so much
easier even like one to invest in okay
yeah he was like here's a bucket list of
you know it's an ever-growing list of a
30 things currently that you never even
if you do come home from you know both
of you had like a long day at work you
don't need in the moment creativity with
you okay like which of these sounds
appealing right now like it's just it's
always there it's an all it'll auto
pilot like pile of romance yeah what
just what about just some date ideas do
you have like for example I know you get
a whole book on 50 date ideas which I
gotta check out and read but you know
you and your relationship you know what
kind of dates I can have you plan or
examples or things that people can do
just to use their creativity sure I'll
chop my head we have done like art night
things where we like we'll have a bottle
or two of red wine and like little
cheese plates and we'll set up newspaper
all over the carpet and like and make
paintings together need to do our own
campuses so usually you know create a
shared one neither one of us are artists
like it just again it's not like brain
stretching is what's a new thing that we
can share and grow to grow it together
going to aquarium is going to sign
center I've done paintball going on like
weekend getaways to you know cities
within like a two-hour drive or two-hour
commute from our city you know even if
you both have full-time jobs there's no
it's again that intentionality it's
super easy to book like an inexpensive
42 our little
education that just like bust up your
routine and get to you elsewhere yeah a
lot of major cities depending on where
the viewers are watching from have
really cool this is generally colder
weather I favor deep like driving out
near your airport and like parking your
car underneath where the cars land and
like putting a blanket on your over the
hood of your car and like having hot
chocolate and like having planes land
right over you that's a uniquely most
people haven't done yeah I can fill the
whole call with this but Chris powerful
date ideas has a ton of ideas yeah I
love that and I I do a lot of stuff too
but I'm just always I know from my
girlfriend like one of my outcomes is I
always plan something and she you know
she lives like 30 minutes 40 minutes
away but she'll come here and i'll make
sure to plan something for and it's
always something new or different or
creative and i like the surprise or two
i think i like the anticipation because
i think anticipation is powerful like um
it builds up just as energy inside
yourself being surprised by something
and it kind of keeps them throughout the
week looking forward to something new
and then she'll usually plan something
when i go to visit you know drug drive
out to her place but yeah I find like
surprising the other person is always
fun use for money or something that's
like super bored domestic to mention
right now I bet a lot of people that are
listening to this call I've heard of
like the sales concept like the
psychological sales concept of
commitment and consistency and like how
we're talking about building
relationships and date nights like the
level of effort intentionality energy
resources to be put into that version of
dating versus you know Netflix every day
just by the by the actual fact that
you're like committing that much energy
and intentionality interrelationship our
brains actually work this way with love
that when we put energy into someone we
actually backwards rationalize and go we
actually chemically we fall more in love
with them and stay more in love with
them so if you're putting like the less
and less energy putting into it like the
less impressed you'll be with them day
to day yeah whereas like wow if I'm
really like you know look your brain
feels like oh if I'm like winning them
every day like I am then like I must
really be into them and like actually
makes both of
you feel more in love so just like the
women benefits just their endless what
about people like what do you say to
people there like maybe they're watching
this and they're like yeah that sounds
great and easy but I've got three kids
and I work you know 12 hours a day I
don't have time for my relationship like
what do you say for people that that say
that I've just arrest those people were
listen to those call because I think
that its exact same excuse for oh I
don't have time to go to the gym yeah
it's like I'm not saying that you like
you definitely don't need to start by
doing the 48 hour you know local
vacation little trips you know like
whatever you decide to make a priority
in your life whatever you decide to put
in your calendar like if you care enough
about enough you can make something
happen and I get it there are sprinting
phases especially if people like early
on and building their businesses
building their brands that you really
are just crazy slammed and doing a 15
hour days basically seven days a week
and that's fine and I'm not saying you
have to have a date night every single
week it's a non-negotiable thing but I
don't think there's any phase in their
lives where you can say oh like this is
the time where I'm allowed to completely
ignore my relationship for my partner
like tomatoes total BS and it's just
always a cop out yeah I didn't have you
seen the movie sex tape have you seen
that oh no ok you should watch oh yeah
she is pretty funny but it's like about
this couple and they like me started off
like having amazing sex like a
passionate relationship and then they
had kids and then all of a sudden it's
like they didn't have time to have sex
and it showed like before they go to bed
that'd just be tired exhausted and they
would have to like schedule to like have
sex sort of thing eventually but i think
you know you're right it's just an
excuse like there's always a way there's
always time and you have to make it i
think the most important thing in your
life because you know it affects
everything for you and you have to
schedule it you have to make it a must
just like you would with anything else
you know and i think people put work and
some of these other things more
important but i think you always have to
make sure that you have that and even
you know people put kids more important
but i think if I've always heard that if
you have a half
relationship the kids are going to see
that because you're their role models as
well if you just you know ignore the
partner and you have a debt you know a
bad relationship with them that's going
to affect the children's concept of a
relationship later in their life totally
yeah I'd say each parents primary job is
to love their partner like your parents
second and you know some people
definitely do put their kids about the
relationship and it's backwards I don't
say the same thing with business
building like I've heard a lot of people
said yeah if your relationships like a
bit of a slump right now we've been
married to a couple years we've been
deal with a couple years but I'm just
I'm really leaning to work and so like
you know I'll start updating it again
later and I think it's it's literally
backwards I think you can touch up your
first starting out like some people say
oh I'll you know I'll get a girlfriend
role invest in my relationship whine
about 10k a month and I'm like no it's
backwards like invest in your
relationship and they'll get to 10 came
on faster because you'll work smarter
it'll be more emotionally balanced
you'll be like physically recharging
yourself like you know people don't feel
guilty may go home after a long day at
work and plug on their phone but they do
feel guilty taking time off from
building their brand and plugging in
themselves by saying like I'm gonna know
even just like cuddle with my partner
for an hour at the end of my day like
just yeah absolutely essential totally
um so on your on your blog you get a
book on relationship killing mistakes
what are some of the mistakes or
challenges or whatever people are doing
that hurt their relationship I said one
of the biggest ones when I carolyn's
talk about is scorekeeping and it's it's
a far-reaching like it's a cancer of
relationships just like as soon as you
start to entertain that mindset of like
not just you know not just tuning in to
what have they not been doing for me
lately or like when is the last time
they did this thing that I used to like
but even just that like that
scorekeeping one-to-one like I've done
these three things last week and what
have they done for me like when you even
begin you know you've heard from Tony
Robbins like the reticular activation
system like whatever whatever you seek
you'll find and it yeah it's just like
any any semblance of that mindset is
just it's so poisonous because even in
like
seeking out what they have been doing
for you that you'll invent things you'll
skip over things that they are doing for
you you'll prioritize the things that
you're doing is more important than
there's like oh I took out the trash
three times and like they haven't at all
meanwhile you know they've made dinner
down the dishes every single night but
you're ignoring that because you're
taking those things for granted yeah so
that's why forwarded most like cancerous
poisonous things to do yeah and I think
just like giving unconditionally to your
partner without any expectation of what
you're getting back his what you're
saying you know and just and I you know
I know for myself so there's you know if
I need something and I'm like I'll just
instead of just like trying to get
something I'll just turn that around and
be like you know I'm just gonna give to
this person I'm just going to light them
up I'm going to surprise them because i
think if you light up someone else and
you meet their needs and they're happy
they're gonna reciprocate you know like
if but if you're in this place of like
they're not giving anything to me so i'm
not going to give anything to them it
just like its downward spiral it's a
cold war with like neither one of yous
emotionally investing and you're both
suffering yeah and it's like it was
something wrong with if there's a
certain need that you know no no human
in the world is a mind reader as much as
you know a lot of women seem to like
have such deep intuition that they
sometimes seem like they can if they're
something that's not being met
consistently then like yeah it's totally
fine but like be the mature person would
like to have a conversation about okay
you know would you mind if we had like
incorporated more of this into a
relationship like be intentional about
verbalizing it but yeah it's going to be
a pretty rare partner that if you're
doing like you know 10 units of
investment of relations you have to do
20 like it does come back to you it's
the same thing as like you know there
might be the adding crazy value in your
business for the first three months of
like you know the startup phase of just
starting and if you're if you're from
day one like I put out like five blog
posts and nobody bought my offer nobody
took the call to action it's like don't
worry about like you're planting seeds
like that's all that matters as long as
you're it's looking you're putting
energy into it like it'll come back to
you whatever it needs to it's awesome
let's talk about sex for a minute always
a fun job I've got a lot of great
articles on sax and it's such
important part of relationship what do
you think couples can do to improve
their sex life I'd say one of the first
most important overarching things
something that I know that you're quite
proficient dad is exercise it's like
exercise eating well sleeping well like
testosterone only produces while we're
sleeping and men and women have Swiss
oster own for those that haven't studied
it as feverish please I have it's
basically it's the Saxon address sex and
aggression hormone it's largely
responsible for for libido for sex drive
and they're certain like there's certain
stress hormones that well that are only
released through crying or through
sweating and so if you're not doing one
or both regularly women 10 davines your
time crying one of those theories is it
because men sweat easier we actually
release those things like those tier
hormones out through our bodies because
we have bigger pores and women do well
yeah it if you're not exercising and
also cries that kind of got swept into
it regularly then there's gonna be a ton
of stock energy that really will mess
with your sex drive and you know it
could easily be the difference between
like having the desire to have sex you
know once a week versus five times a
week in the same healthy person it's
awesome I remember another thing i
remember i think i read on your blog i
think one of the biggest complaints that
you said women have with men is that
it's like a lack of connection and just
like when you're making love like
looking in the person's eyes and
connecting with them and yeah I'm gonna
expand on that yeah see I pulled all the
women on my email list and bass asked
like you know what bothers you the most
in bed that happens with your like
heterosexual male partners and something
that I had heard of slightly before but
never to this extent from so many
different sources was a lot of women
saying like I really don't like it when
my partner just like buries his face in
my neck not ever like you know something
like like having their like shoulder
neck bitten during sex or like you know
being kissing the Nexus totally fine but
they felt like if it was too consistent
think I just like buried his face in his
partners neck
it felt too disconnected like you know
he is looking to my back I'm looking at
the ceiling and there's no looks
emotional connection there so yeah on
the other side like not necessarily you
know like hold unblinking eye contact
the entire time but yeah investing as
much into the emotional connection
spiritual connection as as physical
technique if not more so it's awesome
let me ask you for single people so
people that are watching that are single
both men and women what do you think I
mean we mentioned loving yourself as an
important thing I think important just
for attracting the right person as well
but what can single people do to find
their ideal partner it's funny I've been
coaching full-time for coming up on
seven years now in relationships and I
feel like the further I go into it the
more I feel like like the only like true
timeless valuable advice is you need to
build a happy single life first and just
like completely like so fill up your
life your calendar and your hobbies your
passions with like with things that are
so so you that it's almost like you
don't even have time for a relationship
at all and it's right at that moment
when you're so happy and so fulfilled
and so like congruently you that someone
will show up in your life that is also
living a very similar or very aligned
we're supporting you know lifestyle way
of living and they almost like they fill
in the cracks that you couldn't even
perceive you had because you already
felt so fulfilled it's like I'm already
so ninety percent a hundred percent me
that oh like someone just like came in
and made me like 120 percent me I didn't
even know there's a thing yeah so yeah
like whatever quick how do I find this
kind of person it's like you know one
more like you know a mediator tangible
way of getting into that is you know
right down like the 10 things that you
most look for in a partner and then
strive to become those things for
yourself that's awesome yeah that's what
actually what I did I actually wrote a
list of exactly what I want in my
relationship but then who I have to
become to attract that person yeah sure
enough my girlfriend showed up in like a
few days later
totally I yeah I still believe that kind
of stuff yeah and you know another thing
too I really believe you attract what
you are because if you're like a German
you know you have drama in your life and
all that sort of stuff you attract that
person like into your life to you like I
see relationships and there's like so
much drama like I know like we live in
Vancouver you go to granville street you
know Saturday night you know it's like a
nightlife area and you'll see like
couples like you know the guy yelling at
the girl the girl yelling the girl like
doing things to make a boy from jealous
and I'm like oh my god like I've never
even seen like because my friends and
stuff like our friends we don't have
relationships for very high level people
and everything in our lives but when
you're around other people at a lower
consciousness in a way it's like there's
just so much drama whatever it is and
they're attracting that because that's
what they are yeah I know so I think
like working on yourself the more you
improve yourself then you know I i think
you know guys like me and you it's like
if we went out to a club we you know
even though there might be like a
beautiful girl there you probably
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