yes well it definitely it's great to
have people like that that can be honest
with you at times and that's what I have
coaches for that's what I have people
that I respect mastermind groups people
that I value their opinion and I value
their honesty and I value that they can
give me that but at the same time
they're not there's a difference between
that because you know their intent is to
love you and they care about you they're
doing it from a place to serve you and
support you because they really want you
to succeed so sometimes you need that
tough love but I don't question the
intent of that because I know that this
difference between someone that's just a
hater that's doing other insecurities
it's this reflection it's like a mirror
staring back at them they're doing it
because they're unhappy with themselves
right and there's a place to do that
you know if someone wants to give you
that our honest feedback or love you or
serve you in that way then you know they
do it in private they're not going to do
it online or an environment like that -
and they're gonna be more elegant about
it - oh yeah I cut out anyone that's
negative in my life anyone that's not
supportive you know as Jim Rohn says you
got to stand guard at the door of your
mind because as you guys know you're
very vulnerable one negative opinion one
negative belief one negative thing that
can that can change your whole
psychology they can create an insecurity
a fear a doubt or whatever it is and why
would you feed yourself with that you
know why would you surround yourself
with any negativity whatsoever for me I
want to create my life a people that are
awesome people that are fun people
they're on the same path as me they're
like-minded those are the kind of people
that I want to surround myself with and
if someone is gonna be negative or
disrespectful or abusive that's not
something that I'm gonna tolerate in my
life in any way even if it's a customer
if I have a customer that's abusive
disrespectful you can no longer be my
customer I'll ban them from any product
service that I have because my belief is
it's a privilege for me to serve you and
for me to be in your life but it's also
a privilege for you to be in my life and
at any moment I can revoke that
privilege so it's a mutual thing right
so if I have someone that's like that
and I deal with a lot of customers
thousands of them there's something I'm
like you know what I don't want your
business
right because I don't want the
negativity in my life and it's the same
thing with people in your life now we're
gonna talk about your social life your
environment tomorrow a little bit more
about that because sometimes yeah you
have family members you still gotta love
them but maybe you love them more from a
distance yeah well I mean some people
they use humor as a way and it could
still be it could still come across as
an abuse of a negative thing too right
and I've been in that environment as
well where it's I don't know it's a
sports thing or whatever and you tease
each other you make fun of each other
and stuff but you know it depends if
that affects you if you don't want that
in your life and don't tolerate it don't
tolerate it because a lot of people that
do that to elevate themselves for me I
was very shy in high school and so I
would be in a group of people I would
never talk to anyone people would make
fun of me they would bully me there and
they would do it in a playful way
because we need in a playful way it's
not as mean that's just directly saying
that you're a loser right if you tease
the person other people laugh then it's
gonna be more accepted but I that
affected me in a lot in a lot of
different ways and because I was very
shy as very weak
I never defended myself when you don't
defend yourself now you're an easy
target for people and they're gonna
tease you make fun of you to elevate
their status so that they can look cool
and more popular amongst the group of
people right and so for me I was like
you know what this would affect me and I
was like you know it's it's not the
environment that I want to be in right
and so I just distanced myself from that
and I found people that were more
aligned and more supportive and
empowered me well you developed you're
gonna develop a thick skin anyways like
and just in life in general because life
is gonna kick your ass there are going
to be critics the more successful you
become the more you elevate yourself in
the world that's going to make other
people feel uncomfortable they're gonna
you know you're gonna develop more
criticism from that especially if you're
like me and there's all out there your
whole life and everything to you right
so you're gonna attract that more and
then just in general you know it's just
through achieving any goal you're gonna
have to deal with that and so I think
that comes with time but you have to
learn to disassociate yourself from it
so I look at some of the top athletes or
celebrities right they get so much
criticism and a lot of them at a very
young age like could you imagine like
you know you're 17 18 19 years old like
you have
you know you don't even know any of this
stuff you don't know anything about
beliefs mindset you achieve all the
success and attention and you have so
many people hating on you and that's why
a lot of these celebrities end up going
to drugs alcohol they go in and out of
rehab because they have so many mental
psychological issues of having to deal
with that but what I found is at the top
performers they don't look at what the
critics say they don't even acknowledge
it
they developed a thick skin over time
without a doubt as time goes on yes
you're gonna have moments that you know
you have to deal with the negative
situation you're gonna grow from that
your your skin will get thicker in that
process and it's not going to affect you
as much as time goes on but they also
they don't go looking for it right
they're not looking up they're not
LeBron James isn't reading all those
Instagram comments and all the comments
and what everyone's saying about him
because if he did that would affect his
psychology if you're the best in the
world and you're a master you're not
gonna go to all the fans for advice
that's why you have coaches that's why
you have your colleagues and peers those
are the people that you respect that
they're gonna tell you give you advice
you're not gonna go to the fan that
doesn't know anything about basketball
who's telling you you should do this you
should do that you got to disregard that
but also like for me I the way that I
conquered that too is I went out and I
approached a lot of people so by
approaching people I would be vulnerable
and I'd face rejection and failure and
just through that process I would
develop a thicker skin and I develop it
essentially wouldn't affect me as much
so to answer the questions over time
like the more successful you become the
more that you um you're gonna get it but
you're gonna they're not gonna care as
much it's a weird thing like you just
stopped caring yeah it has nothing to do
with you you know if if someone comes up
to you like you screw you that has
nothing to do with you that person is
obviously going through something in
their life they're going through their
issue they're in a certain state they
have certain beliefs and someone just
starts attacking you and then even know
you that that's obviously something that
they're going through
so I disassociate it from it in that way
yes and just understand that you know
one belief that I have is from A Course
in Miracles is
there's two types of communication two
types of responses there's either a
loving response or there's a call for
help a loving response or a call for
help so either that person is loving and
their response or it's a call to help
meaning this person's suffering in some
way because I know a lot of people
they're really happy and positive happy
and positive people aren't negative to
others they don't put down others they
don't criticize others they don't you
know they don't be indulge in that
behavior if they're really happy happy
people uplift people they cheer people
on they they're so they feel so good
about themselves and they're so happy
it's infectious it's contagious to
everyone else around them people that is
negative or hating I can promise you
that they hate themselves I can promise
you that if they're criticizing you they
criticize themselves much harshly if
they're judging you they're judging
themselves even more so right because to
judge or hate or be negative to someone
else you have to be in a state of
insecurity or some sort of negative
state to project that because everything
that you express or project is a
reflection of how you feel inside or
what you believe right and so I usually
have compassion for people I love people
no matter what you know because I don't
believe that if that person is behaving
that way that's not really who they are
I believe it every people every one is
good and that's part of my spiritual
beliefs that I have we'll talk about
tomorrow but I believe everyone's a good
person deep down but due to life
circumstances beliefs patterns whatever
it is they express themselves in the
negative way you know and so I still
love them I still view people as a
brother or sister regardless of the
actions and I just send them love back
and just pray that maybe they will make
that change or become a better person in
some way in their life and even
regardless of how they responded I was
like okay what could I have done
differently you know for them to respond
in this way is there a different thing I
could I always looked at myself because
I also believe that you attract what you
are you attract the energy that you put
out you know if you're attracting all
this drama in your life and negativity
it's likely because maybe you
we're in a state where you're putting
out that energy and you attract it back
okay
but yeah everything is feedback
everything is feedback and you can
utilize that to get better and I just
feel it as a gift is everything is a
gift it's something I can use either for
motivation I can use it to improve to
get better but at the same time they're
not gonna make everyone happy and you
know the more that you grow your it's
just gonna be something it comes with
the territory I'm reminded about the
great quote if you want to avoid
criticism then say nothing do nothing
and be nothing okay if you want to avoid
criticism say nothing do nothing and
you'll be nothing and that that was a
hard thing for me because when I was shy
I by being quiet
I wasn't liked and I wasn't really even
disliked I was just accepted you know
and just by me expressing myself more
like if you're gonna share your opinion
or talk you're putting yourself you're
vulnerable in some way to criticism from
others and confrontation I always
avoided that but then I realized you
know what if I don't express myself you
know yeah some people might be offended
not agree with it or like it or whatever
but I'm not gonna be anything in my life
if I just continue to be accepted and no
one's gonna even know that I exist so it
wasn't till I you know I have to put
myself up there I have to maybe even
ruffle a few feathers
I might have to project myself in the
world and yes some people will like it
some people won't screw it as long as
I'm happy and that the people that I
love and serve that's what's most
important
you
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