hey this is stefan from
projectlifemastery.com and today i'm
going to help you determine and create
your core life values and we're going to
go deep into helping you understand
what's been controlling your life
what's the invisible force that's been
controlling every decision that you make
and the ultimate direction of your life
and if you can really understand this
and discover it and participate with
what I'm going to share to you guys
today and maybe even take out a pen and
paper and go through the exercise I'm
gonna share with you guys it's going to
help you have awareness about the life
that you have but like you've already
created and it's going to help you
identify whether or not the values that
you have they're actually supporting and
pushing you towards where you want to go
or if they're holding you back if
they're maybe leading you down a
that you know in some cases for some
people their lives they set a vision for
themselves or they set goals things are
excited for whether it's to make a
certain amount of money or to build a
business or to lose weight and create a
certain body or attractive relationship
but here's the challenge if you have a
list of values that are not supportive
of that then there's always going to be
resistance it's going to require a
tremendous amount of push and effort and
willpower to be able to push yourself up
instead of just aligning yourself and
shifting what you value what's important
to you so it can be pulled towards it
with a lot more ease less effort and
more enjoying it so I'm going to share
if you guys my values of what I've
created through my life and how it's
changed my life and guide you guys
through a process for that now let me
ask you this question why do you have
the life that you have why do you have
the life that you have and if you look
around you right now whether it's your
environment the home that you live in
the car that you drive your current
level of emotions that you consistently
experience on a daily basis of your life
whether that's happiness and joy in to
film it and laughter and fun and
adventure or maybe it's depression and
sadness and frustration and anger and
guilt and shame you know what's
determines the light that you have you
know whether that is how much money you
have in your bank
whether they've got it business that's
thriving or when you have a nine-to-five
job or whether you're pursuing your
passion or you're doing something just
you know because you need the money
whether you live out a desperation or
you're the inspiration to others or that
you spend your time volunteering and
contributing to other people's lives or
even your current physical environment
you know your current body that you live
in whether you're overweight whether
you're fit whether you're strong with
your healthy what determines all of that
I think we both can agree has been your
decisions
whatever decision that you've been
making in your life and led you to the
life that you got and I think first and
foremost we always go to accept that we
could acknowledge it we've got to take
responsibility as a B it is to blame
everyone else and blame the economy or
blame or parents or blame this person or
that person ultimately we're responsible
for our life we're the ones that made
certain decisions about what you put
into your body each day the foods that
you eat what you decide to spend with
your time because we all have the same
amount of time right we all have 24
hours in the day but what determines
whether someone spends an hour of their
day at the gym or an hour of the day in
front of the TV or an hour to their day
building their business or several hours
or going to their job or volunteering or
whatever might be again that's the
decisions that you have made and not
unless someone holding a gun to your
head you're the one that's in charge and
control of that now what's determining
the decisions that you're making what's
determining the decisions you make
overall in your life your core decisions
not more at the moment moment a moment
we often make decisions based on
comforts or we can make decisions based
just to change how we feel but the most
important core decisions that we make
are always been based on our values and
what our values really are are what's
most important to us in our life you say
whatever is important for you is going
to help you determine the decisions that
you make right so for example if you
value security as one of your top values
that's really important you strive for
that in your life whether you're
conscious of it or not then if somebody
has an opportunity for you to build a
business
and it requires a certain level of risk
then what are the chances that you're
going to risk and and jeopardize that
security to build a business you're not
going to because you know you value the
security so much more if there's someone
on the other hand that values success
and accomplishment and achievement and
are really after that then obviously
you're going to make different decisions
than someone else you might you know
invest in yourself or you might really
commit yourself to build a business or
so learn about success and follow people
that are successful right or example you
value health as your most important
value then obviously you're going to
probably make certain decisions about
what you're going to eat what you're
going to put into your body that the
cleaning products that you have around
your house your environment because
that's really important to you you're
going to research that you're going to
have an interest in that you're going to
make decisions based off that so we all
value a lot of the same things right we
all value the things that I might have
mentioned whether security whether it's
success whether it's health whether it's
adventure or fun or happiness or joy or
fulfillment or gratitude or passion
these are all things I think we can both
agree we value but tour is the question
do we all value them equally and the
answer is no we all have a different
hierarchy of values of what's most
important to us and that hierarchy is
again determining the decisions that you
make which is going to leave you to
whatever life that's going to show up
for you whether aware it or not right
and whether they support the life that
you want to create or it's going to
support maybe the life you already have
that you might have to be happy with
it's not until you make the shift and
you go deep with this what I'm going to
show you guys today that you'll be able
to understand this a lot better about
yourself okay now I originally learn
this process about five years ago back
in 2012 and I remember I learned it
originally from a few different schools
of thought in the NLP community which is
neuro linguistic programming and if you
haven't watched the video that I did on
NLP I recommend you watch that video on
my youtube channel because NLP is really
influenced my life in an incredibly
positive way but I Rou
didn't understand this and had a very
simplified version of it until I went to
the Tony Robbins seminar called date
with destiny and a date with destiny he
really goes deep on your values and
discovering them and sharing a lot of
the process I'm going to share with you
today and he also shares a little bit of
it in his book awaken the giant within
which is actually one of my favorite
books and so you can learn a little bit
more about it from those sources but I'm
going to share a lot with you guys here
today's video that will open up your
mind your eyes to how you've been living
your life okay
now here's how you determine first and
foremost the values that you've been
currently living your life by and it's
by asking yourself the question and if
you're open and committed right now then
maybe you could take out a pen and paper
maybe you can open up your computer and
maybe
type in and ask yourself this question
because this question is what's going to
really allow you to understand what
you've been valuing up until this point
of your life okay that's step number one
we're going to assess that we're going
to look at that and then look at whether
or not that is actually supporting you
in creating the life that you want your
ultimate vision the goals that you have
yourself okay and then once you
determine your current values and you
know where you want to go then you can
really construct and shift and modify
your values and ask yourself what are my
values need to be to create the life
that I want and we can set yourself up
to win for success so again you're
pulled towards that you're not pushing
constantly okay so here's a question I
want you to ask yourself what I want you
to write down and what I want you to
really ponder I want you to ask yourself
this question what's been most important
to me in my life
okay what's been most important for me
in my life and as I asked you that
question right now what's the first
answer that comes up whatever it is
what's that answer whatever it is write
it down right now write it down on a
piece of paper write it down on your
computer and just trust whatever comes
up don't think about it too much don't
overanalyze it don't get too much in
your head because oftentimes the first
answer is there in our guts it's really
our intuition and sometimes you just
going to trust whatever is coming up for
you okay so again when you ask what's
going
was important to you in your life
whatever it is just write it down
security has been being safe
has it been happiness has it been
success has it been money has it been
family has it been love as it been
passion has it been friends as it been
travel what does it really been for you
now I should clarify something there's
actually two different types of values
there's a means value and an engine okay
oftentimes when someone says they value
family which is great I want you to
really understand okay there's family
but what is the emotion that you're
really after to experience because at
the core of it our values are just
emotions emotions that we want to
experience more of what's just important
to us okay so the emotions that are
important to you from family maybe my
determine will you know if my family is
important to me but maybe it's the love
or may disconnection or maybe it's just
the support or maybe it's fun or maybe
it's you know it's the playfulness from
that what is the emotion that really
after the same thing you might say well
it's my business but again what's the
bit what's the emotion even after if you
say it's money then what are you really
after money for what's the emotion that
you're after what's the means to the end
you know if it's money then maybe it's
security
maybe it's freedom maybe it's adventure
right we all have different meanings
different emotions that we're after
based on some of the objective
experiences or the objectives vehicle
that we utilize to be able to experience
the emotions that you want
okay so again what's the most important
for you in your life and I want to ask
your self the question again what else
has been important for you in life what
else has been most important for you
okay it could be more than one doesn't
have to be one thing as many things I'm
important for you okay
and whatever that is write it down ask
again what else has been important for
you in your life write that down again
what else has been more important in
your life and you're going to keep
asking or self at question you're going
to go deep and you're going to write
down everything that's been important
for you in your life and again try to
hear that your focus and directions of
the emotion the core of
motion that you've been after to
experience ok the emotional states and
write those down on the list now what
you're going to find are going to have a
list something like this and it might be
totally different things that I have
here again there's many many there's
actually thousands of emotions that we
can experience and it's different for
everybody so whatever it is write down
your list and then as I said what's
really determining your decisions is
you're hired
of what's been most important for you
and this is where it goes a little bit
deeper and this is where it requires a
little bit more of your time because you
really go to understand what has been
out of the lists that you got what has
been the most important thing for you
out of that list what's been number one
because whatever number one is
everything else is being filtered
through that and then you can help
understand what's number two and number
three number four and I'll share with
you an example so you can understand
this a little bit better how that works
but understanding the hierarchy is
critical it's very important because
this is where a lot of the conflicts
come up so let me give you an example
for me in my past what's allowing you to
get to where I'm at today in my life has
been a lot of things I've always valued
growth growth it's been so high on my
list that's why I have the life that
I've got that's why I've made the
decisions that I make you know many of
you guys see I you know I've already so
far this year invested tens of thousands
of dollars to go into seminars and
traveling around the world to improve
myself to grow and what you know the
reason why I would do that is because
growth is obviously an important value
for me right some people don't value
growth and that you know obviously you
know they're not going to probably go to
a seminar they're not going to read a
book they're not going to do the things
that some like myself would do because
we just have different values there's no
right or wrong there's no list magical
list I can give you it's based on the
life that you want okay so for me in my
life I've valued growth in a big way
since I was 17 years old always
improving myself every day reading books
seminars coaches all that sort of stuff
and I've also in another point of my
life really valued success and money and
really for money what I was really after
was freedom right that was an important
value that I had in my life
not as much security to be honest
because enough to be honest to you for
me you know I was always comfortable you
know living on a friend's living room if
I happy which I did for about a year you
know I was I was comfortable staying in
a hostel and I was willing to take
certain risks and sacrifice things so
security wasn't really high in my list
but at a certain point success was
achievement was freedom was and so as
you can imagine by me valuing that my
life that is what led me to make
decisions in my life about deciding to
build an online business to become an
entrepreneur and sure enough because of
that I had to sacrifice a lot and put a
lot of attention energy and focus into
creating my business there really
working hard and creating the brand
project life mastery and the life that I
have today now what happened know was
what's interesting and this is where the
hierarchy is important is if you're
asking before in the past success at one
point was like number one on my list in
fact I remember a stage of my life where
as just all of of that and I was just
totally desperate in my life and I was
in a dark place and man I just I'd wake
up man and how I would just get to work
on my business and you know I wouldn't
leave the house you know I remember one
time I was in Bogota in Colombia and I
just was so committed of staying at a
guesthouse and I stayed up for 48 hours
straight man I didn't sleep one time I
was just like so committed I'm already
used to go to like the 7-eleven or I
forget what they call it there it's no
bit different in Colombia but I used to
buy a loaf of like a pre de maiz
sandwich bread and some sandwich meats
and some mustard and that eat that for
like the next two or three days so I
didn't have to like leave the house
again because it's inconvenient I was
just so committed to building that now
as you can probably imagine if I value
success so highly on my list and I value
it above something let's say like
happiness as you can probably imagine
there's a bit of a conflict there and
that conflict is that if I value success
above happiness
then I'm only going to allow myself to
feel happy or really focus on my happy
and less happiness and less I'm first
successful and that's how many people
operate by the way many people they
operate from a paradigm a belief system
where they value success and money a lot
more than happiness a lot more than love
a lot more of the things that actually
matter in your life of what you're
really after what you really want to
feel an experience you know many people
will buy a course on success to learn to
be successful then they will to buy
something on how to be happy and that
for me is is crazy because ultimately
you're going to achieve success because
you think it's going to make you happy
but you're not going to be happy at the
end of the day and take this from
someone that's achieve success and knows
a lot of people successful and I know
you already know this because this is
what almost all successful people talked
about that that's not it and so for me
that was a huge conflict because I
wondered why my life you know I was just
always trying to pursue success and even
when I achieve success I was still
pursuing more success but I still wasn't
happy it's because I valued success
above happiness and the same way you
know what happened for me and another
point and other people as well as I went
one point values Fitness you know it
which is great beautiful value but I
evaluated above health and when you
value Fitness above health then you're
going to indulge in things that are
going to support you to be fit but not
necessarily support you to be healthy so
for example I remember for myself I did
two Fitness competitions many years ago
and even though I was the most fit I've
ever been in my life and I was ripped
and I had veins on my ads and as you
know got up on stage and these little
trunks and those super ribs I was
actually the most unhealthy I've ever
been in my life and my adrenals were
shot I was consuming a lot of whey
proteins and casein proteins and dairy
products and foods that you know we're
high in protein and everything and fit
my macros but they weren't supporting my
health and you know you see a lot of
people for example they'll you know
actually take the path taking drugs or
steroids or whatever it is to achieve
their value of fitness because fitness
for them is above health and it wasn't I
realized you know what I value fitness
it's great but I'm always have low
energy I'm always sore I'm always tired
of my body's needs to like rest and
recover all the time and I'm not eating
the right foods and then I made health a
more important value eventually in my
life and now I will never compromise my
health to be fit and that doesn't mean I
can't be fit you know I definitely value
fitness but health is more important so
hopefully you're certain to see and
understand how the hierarchy is
important how there's certain values
that you might have that you valued more
than others they're creating a conflict
in your life that are affecting the
emotions the life that you have and why
you know why you might in some cases be
taking two steps forward and then two to
two or three steps back
you know why you might self-sabotage
yourself why it's requiring so much
effort so much force you know I was
working with a client today and you know
I was actually going over his values and
he really wanted to change his health
and on improve his health and his
fitness and when we elicited his values
he never even had health on the list and
so I was like no wonder that you know
you're not creating a long-term change
here it's your health and fitness
because you don't value it you know
someone that values health or fitness or
their body they're going to make sure
that they do certain things that make
sure they take good care of that in fact
one strategy you can utilize is to model
people that have the life that you want
okay let's say for example if we had
someone right over here that is like a
super athletic healthy fit person if you
were to ask and discover what are their
values I can guarantee you that health
and fitness is going to be high on their
list you know they're going to make
different decisions because they have
health and fitness high in their lists
that when they go to the movie theater
they're not going to buy the popcorn and
the coke right because their value is so
high of that of health they're going to
probably not eat anything or have a
protein bar right because their values
health and fitness you know they're
going to make sure that they work out
every day no matter what because that's
something that's important to them right
when people say oh I dunno I don't have
time to work out
all you're really saying to me is that
you don't value it enough it's not
important enough for you because I can
point out plenty of other people that
have the same amount of you know time as
you have and also have kids or also have
other responsibilities if not more that
still make the time for it because it's
important to them right or someone says
you know I don't have time for my
rituals because you don't value it it's
not high up on your list of values your
morning ritual or you can say you know I
don't have time to focus on my happiness
or I don't have time for this again all
it comes down to is your values which is
what's determining the decisions of your
life okay change your values you'll
change the entire directions the
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