hey everyone this is stefan from
projectlifemastery.com and i've got a
really important video for you guys
today where i want to talk to you about
how to really master your mind and your
emotions because if you can master this
then you'll have mastered your life and
if you feel the master if you feel that
take charge and control of your beliefs
your mentality your emotional experience
of life then you're always going to be
in pain you're always going to be
reacting to the events of your life and
what's going on in the economy and this
person in that person and what this
person said and you're going to live a
life of suffering and I see
unfortunately so many people live their
life that way because they haven't
really taken charge and really learned
emotions and I'm going to share with you
guys today the concept of being reactive
the reactive mindset versus the
proactive mindset now a lot of people
they're living a very reactive life okay
they're reacting to everything that's
going on on the outside world and the
truth is you don't have control over the
outside world you don't have control
over the weather okay you don't have
control over what the president is going
to do or what this company is going to
do or your city or your country or maybe
in a in a relationship you don't have
control of that other person you don't
have control over your family and your
friends you don't have control over your
customers you don't have control over
any of that but what you do have control
over 100% is your mind your emotions how
you choose to react and interpret the
events in your life because it's not the
events there's a lot of people that live
in the same circumstance that you might
be in right now
same financial circumstances same body
health energy physical shape the same
you know whether you're single married
divorced whatever that is there's other
people out there in those same
circumstances as you and yet they have a
totally different emotional experience
than what you might have one person
might be going through that and might be
suffering emotionally and unhappy
blaming and negative and depressed about
that another person to interpret that
being grateful and cheerful and joyful
and be excited about their life and
wanting to make new changes same
circumstances same event same
environment yet different emotional
response you know how is it that two
people can go to Afghanistan and both of
them lose their legs come back in a
wheelchair and then one person that had
that same experience as the other feel
sorry for themselves and the depressed
and and say God why me and they want to
kill themselves whereas the other person
the same circumstance comes back in the
wheelchair and says oh my God thank you
God I'm so grateful to be alive we've
got a second chance now I'm going to
live my life to the fullest now I'm
gonna be grateful for every day because
I know how fast it could be taken away
from me how is it that those two people
the two the same experience can
interpret things in different ways
because of right here how you interpret
the events of your life is what's going
to determine the quality of your life
and a lot of people what happens is they
react to all the littlest things and if
you're living your life that way you're
always going to be suffering in pain and
you're going to be a slave to the events
of your life that are outside of your
control so they're they're pretty much
guaranteed never to be happy until you
take control and understand that you are
in charge
you have control of how you interpret
the events of your life and now to give
you guys an example and I can give you
so many examples but I remember years
ago so maybe like four years ago or so
but I had this one client that I was
coaching great great woman and I was
helping her to build her online business
specifically with publishing and you
know coaching her and helping her with
that and she was doing pretty well she's
making great progress and what happened
was around that time I was working on
creating K money mastery my Kindle
publishing course and I want I just I
didn't want to always I just knew that I
couldn't have the time to coach people
one-on-one to teach them that and so I
wanted to create it online
course that could scale myself and
leverage and I could reach more people
and and I would have to always walk you
know people through the steps on skype
asides chritmas course my made it
available this person this customer that
I had chose to react from that event and
that occurrence and she chose to react
in a very negative way and this person
freaked out and you know a lot of her
fears came up and she's oh my god other
people going to know this opportunity
that which means that for her how she
interpreted it that means that there's
not going to be as much opportunity for
me or there's going to be maybe be more
competition or or Stephan doesn't really
care about me and she created all these
disempowering meanings from that event
and funny enough I had another client
also working with that interpreted that
totally differently and says wow great
job Steph and I'm so excited for this
because now I can you know go deeper
into a different content material that
you have and I don't have to pay you
know a higher right to learn from you I
can instead learn from this course and
they just saw it as a totally different
how they interpret it was so different
than the other person and unfortunately
that other person that I was working
with great person but this is a pattern
that she would run is at any time
something would trigger her fears or
insecurities then she would react in a
negative way in another example of this
is uh my girlfriend her online business
she sells physical products on Amazon
and also does affiliate marketing but
she had this one client that bought her
product physical products didn't got
shipped to her and it was something that
the person expected wasn't included in
that and so you know my girlfriend
explained no that's not included you
know here's where it is you know it's
not included but this customer freaked
out okay this person reacted and just
drill a huge fit over this even though
that they're actually you know actually
wrong about the matter is the truth of
it but they freaked out and they said
I'm going to I'm going to sue you I'm
going to I'm going to get my lawyer
involved and all this over a product
that's like forty dollars right that's
how crazy some people are but you know
people
but whenever I see that I feel sympathy
over people like that because I know
that they're suffering I know that there
is some pain in some way in their life
you know that if you've got a wound if
you got a big wound here on your arm and
you're already in pain and I didn't
really take much to get a reaction out
of you I could just have a feather come
and touch you and tickle you and you're
going to react and that's how most
people are you know even on my snapchat
the other day I was watching the
inauguration of Donald Trump and you
know social media snapchat you share
your life you share what you're doing
that day share what you know you're
going to the gym you're doing this what
you're watching whatever and so I just
shared a snap of I'm watching this
inauguration which millions of people
around the world were and this person
reacted a person that follows me and
this person freaked out and because I
guess that and I'm not even I'm not
American I'm living Canada I don't
really even follow politics
I don't not a supporter of Donald Trump
or anything like that I'm just pretty
much indifferent because I also believe
that regardless of who's the president
or whatever they don't have control over
my life they had them I have some
influence over but I take charge I
control my experience of life and I see
a lot of people they react to Donald
Trump or this person and all it's just
such a reactive mess and there's a lot
of emotional maturity that I feel is
really lacking in the world and for a
lot of these people whose experiences if
anyways this person freaked out got
upset because they came to a conclusion
a meaning of how they interpreted that
as I was celebrating Donald Trump or I
was a fan of Donald Trump or he came to
certain assumptions and that's the key
you can never assume because whenever
you are creating a meaning then you're
assuming something and your assumptions
are not true there are your
interpretation of that because other
people can interpret this same thing in
a different way you might in your
relationship say something but mean well
but maybe your partner might interpret
that as you try to offend them or make
fun of them or something like that and
you know if you've ever had a experience
like that you can interpret the event
that if someone is late for a date or a
meaning that you can interpret they
don't
err or you can interpret that is oh my
god maybe something happened to them or
maybe they're going through a lot right
now in their life so my point is I can
go through so many examples of people
being in this reactive mindset this
reactive mentality and to really master
your mind in motions you have to develop
emotional maturity you have to learn how
to be what I call proactive okay
proactive is the opposite of reactive
proactive number one first and foremost
I believe that you should have a
practice in the morning throughout the
day a morning ritual that puts you in a
strong powerful state that puts you at
your absolute best emotionally
physically and spiritually because when
you are how you react to events
throughout your day it's not going to
make much of a difference for you and I
know it's a huge difference when I don't
do my ritual versus when I do do my
ritual because when I do do my Rich rule
I have a different energy to myself when
I'm feeling great each day because I
took that time every morning to do an
empowering morning ritual what happens
is man there could be bombs going on
around me this could happen in my
business this stressful thing might
happen or occur but it just bounces
right off of me because I'm centered and
strong see you got to be like a rod okay
you're going to be rock solid you're
going to be centered you're going to be
grounded you know if you're always off
balance you can easily fall over but if
you're solid then things just bounce
right off of you you know I kind of
imagine like if you're in the ocean
you're a rock that's steady and sturdy
whereas the ocean which could be life
sometimes it might be a storm there
might be waves crashing on you but
because we're so strong mentally
emotionally and physically then it
doesn't really affect you that much you
just move on and that's what a ritual
does that's why I preach the importance
of a morning ritual that's why I created
a course called morning ritual mastery
which by the way if you don't yet have
you need to get at morning ritual
mastery calm that's my little plug but
it's that important to master that
that's why I created this course
inexpensively to help people go deep
with it to really learn this because
that will get you out of that reactive
state okay the other kits that I have is
you have to learn how to interpret
things enough
positive way a more empowering way not
to jump to the negative conclusion a lot
of people they react so fast you know
something happens and they just
immediately react what happens if you
know just for a moment you took a step
back and you just looked at that from a
different perspective you know someone
said something and some of you love in a
relationship said something or something
happens maybe take a step back and think
you know what before I react to this and
say and respond in this way you know can
I maybe think about what they're going
through or maybe isn't you know is is it
really true that they meant that that
that they said that that what they mean
is what I believe is that really true
you could start to question that and
look at it to a different lens a
different filter maybe get outside
yourself for a moment put yourself in
the other person's shoes you know
oftentimes you know people might be
stressed and going through a lot you
know I remember the story about Stephen
Covey wrote the book the 7 Habits of
Highly Effective People at one point he
was on I think a train or a bus or
something like that and there's a woman
there and she was with a bunch of kids
and these kids were causing all this
ruckus and noise and and being
destructive on this bus and he reacted
and he got upset and what happened was
he confronted the woman and said hey can
you do something about your kids and got
upset and he reacted in the harsh way
and then the other woman or might even a
man but they responded and said oh my
god I'm so sorry you know they just lost
their their mom or their parents and I
just think they don't know how to really
deal with it and Stephen Covey looked at
that as like oh my god I can't believe I
reacted in that way when I didn't have
all the information you know I just came
to an assumption
instead of getting outside of myself and
maybe look you know understanding maybe
they're going through a hard time maybe
this person is going through pain in
their life and you can have sympathy for
them and react and respond in that way
with love and compassion instead of
anger and coming up with a negative
conclusion ok so you have to take a step
back and assess the situation before you
respond in a lot of cases if you catch
yourself calming
you're reacting this negative way take a
step back and really look at it through
a different lens
you know sometimes something light
happen my bother me I might go to the
gym I might go for a walk I might take a
break before I respond to that so I can
change my state and maybe think about it
a little bit of a different way instead
of just being just so reactionary where
that emotion that might come up
temporarily might not be what my how I
really feel
might just be a response out of fear
negativity and what I'm going through at
that point in my day you know this
sometimes I'm going through a hard time
you know I know you can take that out on
other people right so taking a step back
guys know don't be so soon to come up
with these interpretations and these
negative meanings of things and and
because really what you're doing in that
case is again you're just being
reactionary to that at the moment the
event and you're going to always live
your life in that pattern being a slave
to that you're never going to fully be
able to be free another thing that I do
is when something happens I would think
okay is this really true is this really
true and oftentimes dancers know you
know it's not really true I can think of
many examples where I can change my
perception of that and I might ask
myself is it true is it possible that
I'd misinterpreted this is it possible
that they didn't really mean that is it
possible that maybe they're going
through a hard time is it possible that
I don't have all the information about
this situation maybe I got to
investigate and find out more what I
might ask myself what's great about this
what can I learn from this how can i
benefit from this now how can this
enhance my life you know whenever I get
a parking ticket or something like that
I have two options I could react in a
negative way and get upset and hurt or I
decide hey you know what this is a good
lesson what I learned here is that I
should have paid more attention to the
sign and I should have not parked here
where I should have come back and put
some more money in the meter or I should
have done this or this instead I look at
that as a learning experience which
allows me to feel good about the
situation rather than be upset about it
okay so that's how you master your
mindset is you master the meaning how
you interpret these events the best way
to do that is ask questions
take a step back and ask questions like
what's great about this what's going to
learn how can it this really benefit me
how can I interpret this in a more
positive way how can I find out more
about the situation so I can have a more
intelligent response to this rather than
just do an emotional response to it and
if you do that guys that transforms
everything for you transforms your
relationships with other people right
and transforms you know how you feel
most importantly the emotional
experience that you have in your life
you're happy to some joy and passion etc
going to be a lot happier and you know
in business and everything else that
you're going through so the happiest
people that I know of that I've met the
studies that have been around they've
all mastered this they all look at
things in an empowering way a positive
way they don't react so quick and and
they've learned just to be in control of
their emotions and not let other people
not giving away their power to others
okay so hopefully this makes sense for
you okay hopefully you really absorb
what I'm sharing with you here today
because it is a very important concept a
very important principle that can really
free yourself it can allow you to again
experience more happiness and that's
what I want for you guys that's why
every one of you that are watching this
even people that might watch this that
might disagree or people that don't like
me or hate me I don't interpret that in
the negative way for myself in any way I
don't take that personally because these
people don't really know me you know and
maybe there's reacting to something I
might have said or done but it's not
really who they are and you know I love
everyone I care about everyone and
that's why I do what I do is that I want
to influence in a positive way and be
able to make an impact by sharing ideas
and concepts that have enhanced my life
because you know I was once I was once
the most reactive person out there I
remember years ago just total pain and I
relate and love people like that because
I was once one of them okay so hopefully
just can empower you guys in some way
and help you take charge take charge of
your mindset guys you have control of
that so thank you guys for watching hit
the thumbs up if you did enjoy this
video leave a comment below love to hear
what you got
have to say what you guys think and make
sure you subscribe for more videos and
by the way check out morning ritual
mastery can my online seven-day course
to help you master your mind your
emotions it all starts with the rituals
that you have in your life just go to
morning ritual mastery calm there'll be
a link below in the description that's
it you guys are awesome I look forward
to seeing you guys again in the next
video take care
you
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