hey guys Stefan here from
projectlifemastery.com in this video I
want to talk to you about how to
overcome fear now fear is something that
I'm familiar with because I grew up with
a lot of it if you don't know my story I
speak very shy I used to have a lot of
anxiety a lot of fear I was a video
gamer so I just you know protect myself
from fear just by spending all my time
by myself at home and from the computer
where I'd be totally safe and sure
enough I had goals I had desires you
know it when I was young in high school
I wanted to meet women and have a
girlfriend things like that but my fear
kept me back my fear paralyzed me
in fact I also remember you know being
would call upon me to say something in
class I would just always freak out I
would have a panic I mean that died
member certain times I would ask to go
to the bathroom or excused myself or my
face would turn red and get embarrassed
I was horrible at public speaking so
I've made an incredible transformation
and tell many extents I've been able to
overcome fear now I believe that fear is
natural fear is something that we all
experience and really it's hardwired
into us as humans and it's a good thing
because fear keeps us alive fear is
there to keep us safe to protect us you
know we need to have a comfort zone in
some way because you know that's what's
kept us for thousands of years running
away from dinosaurs and things like that
so the fear is a good thing however in
certain circumstances you need to learn
how to overcome fear to use fear to your
advantage and not have that fear stop
you you know there's a great book if you
feel the fear and do it anyway so like
it says in the book you know we all have
fear you need to feel it but you still
need to do it anyways you can't let that
fear hold you back you can't let it stop
you so I have a few things to share on
this subject I think it really helped
you in overcoming fear so that it's not
holding you back in your life and you
can start to take action and move
forward the first thing I want you to
understand is that fear is an emotion
okay fear is emotion it's a state it's
an emotional state that we experience
and it's really no different than
happiness or anger or frustration or
confidence or inner peace or whatever
these are all different emotions
emotional states all different feelings
that we
and in order to experience certain
emotional states there's a certain
pattern that we all experience in our
bodies in our minds and in our language
that basically put us in that state of
mind of fear and whatever emotions that
we have you know if you studied neural
linguistic programming which I got my
practitioner certification not too long
ago it talks a lot about you learn a lot
about emotional states emotional
patterns and how we are the ones that
are in control of these emotions you
know a lot of people believe that I feel
fear and I feel angry and frustrated and
all that because of external sources we
believe that it's because of your boss
or is because of this thing or the
recession or the economy and that's
that's just something that triggers it
however that fear those emotions are
something that you have a hundred
percent control over you have no control
over the outside world but you have a
hundred percent control of your inner
world and what things means you have a
hundred percent control of how you
decide to use your body how you decide
to use your focus and how you decide to
use your language and those are all
three things that radically change the
ways that the ways that we feel so let
me ask you a question right now if
you're in that fearful state if you have
fear or anxiety or however you want to
describe it what's your body like when
you have fear because we all have a
certain pattern and you know it's a lot
of things are very universal but for
some people it could be a little bit
different but if I were to ask you if
you could remember a time in your life
when you felt fear you felt anxiety you
felt scared to do something maybe it was
a goal of business public speaking
whatever it is you know if you were to
ask yourself how are you how are you
using your body in that moment what
would it be my light you know my my
guess is that if you're fearful or
you're scared if you were to go back to
that moment your physiology might be you
know slouched to slouched over you know
maybe you'd be kind of more closed off
in your body maybe your breathing would
be very shallow you know what would that
expression be on your face you know
these are all things that affect how we
feel now you might say this think that
that sounds very simple and it is but
how we use our body or physical
he affects how we feel you know emotion
is created by motion and so you know if
you took any person as scared or fearful
there's a certain physiology to them
there's a certain way they're using
their body maybe they have tension in
their body their shoulders are down
their you know their breathing is
shallow they're looking down if you know
if I were to take myself when I was you
know young and shy and you were to say
to me go talk to that girl over there I
would immediately go into a state of
fear and I'd be very shy and I was very
closed off and you know I'd be looking
down I couldn't keep good eye contact my
voice would be quiet there's a certain
physiology to that there's a physiology
to the fear so that's the first thing
that I want you to look at is how are
you used in your body when you when you
are fearful when you are scared a second
part is what do you focus on what do you
have to think about that makes you feel
fearful you know because I can almost
guarantee that if you have a state of
fear and you're accessing that emotion
it's because you're focusing on certain
things that are making you feel that way
you know I'll just use the example of me
you know trying to talk to a girl when I
was younger you know so if you're say
hey you know go talk to that girl over
there and I'd be scared and fearful what
would I be focusing on well you know
she's probably not gonna like me I'm
probably gonna get rejected it's not
going to work out I'm probably gonna
fail I'm gonna embarrass myself in front
of everybody she probably has a
boyfriend she's going to tell me the f
off you know I'd have all these thoughts
going through my head which is what I'm
focusing on the more that I focus on
that of it not working out and the
worst-case scenarios the more fear I'm
going to feel okay is that makes sense
so your focus is also another core
component of what's going to determine
how you feel but not just your focus but
how you represent things to yourself in
your mind you know we learn this in
neuro linguistic programming that the
images that we make the size of them the
the color the shape the distance all
these things are called sub modalities
all amplify are intensified different
emotions because focus when you focus on
things really just making pictures in
your mind okay so what do you focus on
what kind of thoughts and and things do
you focus on to feel that fear and the
third piece is what kind of words do you
use what kind of language patterns do
you use what do you say to yourself you
know oh it's not going to work out she's
not going to like me I'm not good enough
for her
all those words all those phrases also
produce different emotions as well so
when you understand that fear is just a
pattern fear is a state you have total
control of that and you can shift it you
can change it and so what I'd sure what
I'd like to invite you to do you can
maybe you know listen to me first but
but I'd like to invite you to do is that
anytime you notice yourself experiencing
that state of fear and you feel those
emotions is to immediately change those
three factors that I just mentioned okay
so if I were to ask you right now you
know what's the opposite of fear you
know maybe you'd love to experience
confidence or certainty in your body and
if I were to ask you how would you stand
or use your body if you feel comfortable
if you felt relaxed you felt confident
and certain what would that physiology
look like you know likely your head
would be a pee pee back or shoulders up
maybe a smile on your face a certain
look in your eyes you know a way that
you're breathing maybe it's more full
maybe there's you know more relaxation
in your body hand gestures where your
voice is louder better eye contact again
confident certainty relaxation there's a
certain physiology as a certain body
language that also if you you know we're
totally fearless and you're totally
confident
what would you be focusing on what kind
of thoughts what you have just an
example of you know me trying to go talk
to a girl tell you is that again um you
know I think probably if I was confident
and relaxed I probably think about well
she's just gonna love me you know why
wouldn't she want to meet me or you know
I'm gonna add value to her I'm gonna
make her a day better I'm gonna leave
her better off for having met me or you
know I I'm amazing I'm good enough you
know everybody wants to meet me you know
so having a different focus your
thoughts and your focus is much much
different when you're in state of
confidence and the last piece what kind
of words what kind of language so if
you're a confident what would you say to
yourself what kind of words or phrases
would you use you know it might be I can
do this or this will work out or I can
make this happen you know what is the
words and the phrases that will empower
you as opposed to the ones that limit
you so those three factors your of your
state your emotions of this pattern of
how you use your body
your focus and your language also known
as the triad which Tony Robbins said
talks about as well as in neural
linguistic programming is called your
emotional triad
you know what would that be for you if
you're a confident and what I suggest
for you to overcome this fear is to
recognize that you're in control of your
state and you can put yourself in the
state in any moment that you want any
moment that you decide you know I I'm
really big into having morning rituals
and every day I put myself into a
certain state because I like to
condition it so that it becomes part of
me when I was shy and introverted and
quiet and fearful my default state my
default way of being was that you know I
just walk around everyday there'd be a
certain physiology I'd have the same
thoughts the same focus and use the same
words and so I just kept you know
repeating the pattern I feeling the
exact same thing and it wasn't till I
broke myself out of that and I decided
you know what I need to proactively get
myself in the states that I want to
experience every day of confidence and
certainty and being comfortable and
relaxed I need to proactively do that so
that I can change that baseline state
that I experience in a daily basis and
so every day I would just get myself in
state I put on some music I get myself
fired up I would you know work on my
physiology my eye contact my voice my
body language my focus my thoughts
affirmations incantations everything
that I could to condition that state and
sure enough I became someone that's
confident that confidence that certainty
that it just became my baseline state
and the fear and the anxiety diminished
it went away I can still feel it and
experience it but anytime it comes up I
know how to trigger and get myself back
into the peaks data I want to be in and
I just take action any way I do it the
more that you think about in your head
the worse that it gets and so you really
need to be you know just can't hesitate
at all and just go for it do it but
change your state first and recognize
that you know if you catch yourself in a
certain environment just pay attention
to your breathing pay attention the way
you're using your body
pay attention to words the thoughts the
focus that you're saying yourself and if
you can do that you'll be able to have
full control over your emotions now this
fee
and you'll be able to use it to your
advantage in order to get what you
really want to do whatever you want to
do or experience whatever you want to
experience in your life so hopefully
this video has been helpful for you I
want to thank you so much for watching
please leave a comment below like this
video and subscribe for more videos like
this thank you so much I'll talk to you
soon
you
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