hey guys what's up this is stefan from
projectlifemastery.com listen I want to
make a video blog today to talk about
fear and how to overcome fear and how to
make a certain change in your life I'm
stories for myself my life how I was
made able to make a change and hopefully
this will help her inspire you in some
way so I was just interviewed for a blog
cat blog cast a podcast and a blog on
personal development and we're talking
about fear and I'm just how to deal with
it and first the first thing understand
is that fear never goes away everybody
has severe I don't give a who you
are how you are you have fear the key is
to use fear instead of having fear use
you and for me personally when I was 17
years old I made a certain change in my
life you know at that time in my life I
was depressed I was unhappy I was very
shy and socially awkward and introverted
I was isolated I had low self-esteem low
self confidence and at the time my
addiction was video games you know I was
addicted to being in front of the
computer watching TV and that was my way
of escape because my way of getting away
from all the problems and pain in my
life and everything changed for me in a
moment one moment my whole life changed
and shaped Who I am today and it was
that moment that I hit emotional
threshold it was a moment that I was
finally honest with myself about where
my life is the words gonna go if I don't
change I became more afraid of what
wouldn't my life would be like by living
the way I was living
and that's the key to using fear is to
ask yourself what is it gonna cost me in
my life if I don't change don't change
what are the consequences what's my life
gonna be like 5 10 15 20 years from now
if I continue living my life this way
and for me all of a sudden it became
more painful to sit firm a computer or
be depressed or whatever than it was to
take action that changed my life and a
lot of people don't change
because they never get to that point of
being honest with themselves never get
to that point there is stuff in their
comfort zone or certain way of living
and they don't get honest with
themselves because it doesn't feel good
to say that you suck doesn't feel good
to say that my body isn't where I want
it to be all my relationships or not
where I want it to be or my finances or
whatever area of your life that you want
to change right it's gonna use softeners
and say oh you know it's not that bad or
I'm still young and I got lots of time
or I can do it later instead of really
getting to the truth and be like no
listen what's good what's it gonna cost
me what's my life gonna be like whatever
I already missed out on what does it
already cost me in my life by living
this way and if you can get to the truth
you can change anything it's a great
saying the truth will set you free and
that's exactly what it took for me and
that day was so painful for me because I
was so honest with myself I remember I
broke down crying but at the same time
was the greatest gift of my life because
it made me who I am today I made a
certain decision that day that I'll
never again settle for less I could but
then I could be do give her create a new
us so much more than when I was
demonstrating and every aspect in my
life and one of the changes that I made
was I got rid of my video games I got
rid of my computer my TV all those
different things and I made it my
journey my mission to improve myself I
started reading books I found goal
models and mentors I started going to
seminars I remember I was so terrified
and shy and introverted that I ended up
meeting a group here in Vancouver of
just some guys that were going out and
they were improving their social skills
you know and I remember going out with
them and see them approach people on the
street and I was blown away by that I
never thought that was possible and once
I saw before my eyes I was like wow you
know I have to learn how to do that and
I was so terrified of a so afraid of
rejection and it was controlling my life
but when I the moment I push myself to
get outside of my comfort zone and do it
did something that scared me you know it
didn't matter what the outcome was it
didn't matter whether or not the person
rejected me or responded in a negative
way the self-esteem and the confidence
that I got just by doing it changed my
life I got addicted to that process of
just
finding things that scared the out
of me and doing it and that's how I was
able to change myself and to grow and
develop more self confidence and more
self-esteem it's by putting those things
that scared me and doing it and you know
so the the key to using fear is by
asking yourself what will it cost you if
you do not do this people that are
achievers people that are motivated
people like me that live a crazy ass
lifestyle that's so driven in
everything going to the gym and
approaching people and starting a
business and all these different kind of
things people that are achievers are
more afraid of what their life will be
like they don't fall through ok it's way
more painful for them because the
alternative of being broke bat alone
it's so painful for them they're so
afraid of it that they're so driven to
and motivated to go after their dreams
and so that's the key for me listen it
does not take any discipline whatsoever
to go to the gym takes no discipline
whatsoever to approach someone takes no
discipline whatsoever to work on my
business or to read a book or to do
improve my life in some way not
whatsoever because basically I mean it's
so painful of what my life will be like
I do not go to the gym if I don't
approach that person or not we're cut my
business I'm so afraid of that that I
feel pulled towards doing it right I'm
not pushing myself I feel pulled towards
doing it and so it takes no discipline
or willpower
discipline will pass the willpower never
lasts long term it will never last just
getting yourself from having to do
something to wanting to do it and I'll
give you guys another kind of example of
personal story for my life of how I use
this fear to make a change in my life I
used to be sorry I used to be a binge
eater whether you can believe it or not
I used to have a crazy addiction to food
and junk food and sugar and I would
literally run to Tim Hortons here in my
city and I would order a box of
doughnuts a dozen doughnuts a dozen
cookies come home sit on my couch eat
all of it okay just freaking stuff
myself with it and then afterwards I
would go downstairs in the store and I
would get it
of ice cream and chocolate bars now did
the chocolate bars and the ice cream and
eat it and it was by far honestly one
the most painful destructive points of
my life you know seriously I mean the
self-esteem depression everything the
guilt that you experienced by going
through that was not fun and it becomes
a repeat cycle that would happen every
two or three days and the way that I
made that change is I made a shift of
asking myself before I was gonna eat
junk food or go on a binge I'd ask
myself what is it gonna cost me in my
life if I eat this food what is it gonna
cost me how is this been affect my body
my health my self-esteem my confidence
my relationships my finances every area
in my life and that stack at 5 10 15 20
years in the future of what my life
would be like if I ate this junk food
and then all of a sudden the pain of
eating that food far outweighed the
temporary instant gratification that you
feel for five minutes of eating that
junk food and that's how I made that
change is that I would stack the pain of
living my life that way I became so
afraid of it that I would never even
consider it in a million years and for
me today I mean I haven't touched junk
food or chocolate or any sugar or
anything like that months and it takes
no discipline whatsoever because the
pain of it is not you know definitely
does not outweigh the pleasure of this
eating that food so that's what you got
to do if you want to overcome fear fear
doesn't go away you have to use fear you
must cure to your advantage for me is a
lot more painful that have feelings of
regret than the feelings of rejection
you know so that's why for me I'm not
afraid of rejection at all more afraid
of regret
and for me I personally hate that
feeling I've seen someone walk down the
street that I wanted to me and I didn't
do it and you're going home they're
kicking yourself you know feel good
about yourself you know for me that is
one of the most painful things that I
could ever go through and whenever I had
that happen to me before in the past I
decided never again will I go through
that never again will I dodge sees an
opportunity when it arises never again
will that I not go after what I want
and that's basically what's driven me to
live my life the way it is now and you
know hopefully this can help you as well
so I want to thank you for watching this
quick little video about this that we
kind of rambling on and sharing some
stories and everything but gives you an
idea of how you can use gear in a good
way fear is a great emotion right you
can music to your advantage and
hopefully this helps you make a change
in your life with whatever you want to
change so I want to thank you for
watching this video if there's any
questions I'd love to hear from you you
can email me or check out my blog
project like mastery comm but thanks for
watching and I'll talk to you soon bye
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