hey guys this is stefan from
projectlifemastery.com I'm in the
Galapagos Islands right now in Ecuador
and I've got another email that I want
to reply to on the video blog and it's
from Denis and it's on how to stop
saying that I think everything you're
doing is amazing and awesome and I am
thankful for you for sharing it with
people for free it's been really helpful
for me and finding a good starting point
for my own transformation with that said
I'm having a hard time with alcohol and
not drinking when I'm around friends I
stopped eating it out with this certain
group of friends because all they wanted
to do is get drunk on the weekends and I
felt that they were going against my
desire of change I was wondering if you
have any advice or if you can maybe post
a video blog on any suggestions on this
topic thanks for everything
Denise yeah Denise thanks for the email
and I can definitely relate to this
because any change and you're gonna make
in your life there's gonna be people
that are opposed to it you know and
people you know they don't really want
to change they don't really want me to
change
you know because part of it it makes
them feel insignificant you know it's a
reflection of themselves and a lot of
people might try to hold you back a lot
of people might judge you for certain
things are big fun of you for it you
know or be negative about certain
changes that you're trying to make in
your life and realize you know again
it's it has really nothing to do with
you you know it's just a reflection of
themselves it's just
being afraid of losing your love losing
your connection in some ways that being
afraid and be left behind
and so I gotta have two pieces of advice
here that I think Italy Kennedy
number one is that in order for you to
make a change you're gonna have to have
higher standards than anyone else that's
really what it comes down to if you want
to have it amazing body you know
you're gonna be in the top 1% of people
that have an amazing body you know not
that many people do because most people
they don't really have a desire to
change most people just want to be
comfortable most people don't have goals
or dreams or visions for themselves or
their lives you know this is gonna eat
whatever they want or just go and drink
and just do whatever you know just have
a job at 9:00 to 5:00 and there's okay
with that you know there's okay with a
mediocre in life and if you want an
extraordinary life it takes a higher
standard you know it takes certain
sacrifices it takes having certain
disciplines in your life and anytime you
go through that man people are gonna
judge you they're gonna hold you back
they're gonna be fearful of it they're
gonna make fun of you for it or whatever
you really can't let that affect you
can't let that stop you from you being
thing you want to be I can't tell you
how many times I I mean I've gone months
and months and months without drinking
and you know go to social environments
and everything that's just a decision
that I made and despite you know social
gatherings and friends family and social
functions and going on a date with a
girl or whatever I didn't really care
what people thought you know because I
had my goals I had my dream of who I
wanted to be and I knew that I knew it
was gonna pay off I knew that's gonna
make me a better person knows that
important to me so somebody's gonna
judge before it I didn't really care I
didn't really let that bother me no
people would ask me why you know why are
you drinking water or whatever I would
just say you know I don't I don't really
want to drink you know I don't you know
it's not a priority for me right now or
I have this whole time pursuing you know
and people might you know look down upon
how whatever level kids when they think
you know a store life is what's gonna
make you happy and
you can't let your decisions be affected
by this outside world you know external
third-party events and everything you
know it's gonna be something that you
got to be true to yourself because you
know that you know if you if you go off
you don't really keep your promises
little softer commitments and you end up
just drinking and say it you're not
gonna feel good about yourself you know
you're not gonna have it's not gonna
build your self-esteem in any way you
know so I mean that's one piece is you
are gonna be ridiculed by it I can't
tell you how many times I've connected
my fitness competition you know I'd be
at family gatherings or out at
restaurants with friends and I couldn't
eat anything because I had to follow a
certain diet you know I'm like the one
person that's just sitting there eating
a salad or something like that or just
you know drinking water while everyone
else is eating whatever they want and
that's okay you know you know that's
fine they're gonna have their quality of
life but I was pursuing something better
and I didn't really want what they have
you know I had a higher standard and
it's nothing wrong with what they want
is totally fine and acceptable but no I
didn't let that bother me at all
you know because I knew that the hard
work that discipline to sacrifice
everything that was going through was
gonna make me a better person and help
me achieve my one of my goals and be one
of the 1% of people out there that has a
great body or the incredible quality of
life and the truth is is when you
experience that when you actually have
that amazing quality of life other
people are envious of that other people
look up to that other people are
inspired by that you know they're one
and wow you know that person has that
great body or that person is successful
or they have this great relationship or
whatever it is they're envious they're
jealous they want that but they're not
willing to do what it takes to
achieve that which is the sacrifice and
the judgment the ridicule and all that
kind of stuff that people experience the
failure the rejection all that stuff
you've experienced in the process to
achieve that you know so really you're
gonna keep your eye on the prize I'm
gonna keep your eye on the horizon
pursuing what it is that you want and
don't let the little rope you know
he bumps all that kind of stuff hold you
back and stop you from that and it
really just be true yourself and have
that high standard so that's part one of
my answer okay
part two of my answer is to change who
you're surrounding yourself with because
the biggest thing that influences us in
our lives are our peers and our family
the people that we surround ourselves
with before you spend time with us who
you become I actually made a video blog
about this called your empowering
ecosystem okay check it out on my blog
or my youtube channel but it describes
that your environment influences to meet
you more than anything so if you hang
out with friends that is drink all the
time and they just you know maybe or
friends that are really overweight or
something like that and my friends that
just do drugs and everything and you try
to go against that that's gonna be a
huge push you know it's gonna take a lot
of energy willpower and discipline it's
gonna be very very challenging I'm not
saying that you can't do it you
absolutely can but it's gonna be very
very hard whereas if you surround
yourself and you find a group of people
that are like how you want to be you
know they're healthy they don't drink
you know they're positive and motivated
they have goals they're successful
they're they're in great shape they're
fit it's not gonna be a push it's gonna
be a pull you're gonna be pulled towards
that you're automatically you're gonna
raise up to their level of living you
know you're gonna raise up to their
standards that they have for themselves
in their lives because it goes back to
you don't want to lose their love you
don't want to lose their connection you
know so you'll do anything to go up to
that the standard that they're at
because you want to fit in with them so
it works the same way and so that's why
by changing your environment your peer
group that's one of the things one of
the biggest differences in my life
because I remember for me when I was shy
and I was introverted
you know it's really into video games
when I was in high school and my friends
were the same way you know and so when I
try to make a change and I said hey guys
let's go out this weekend or hey guys
let's meet new people or this talk to
some girls or let's you know whatever
right it kind of like any funny or just
before it if you like no no we're not
gonna do that
let's missed a hit whatever so I felt
left out you know and I wouldn't have
never made the changes that I made in my
life by still being in that peer group
and so what the way that I achieved was
I found people that were like how I
wanted to be I found people that were
motivated their social their outgoing
they're going on every weekend they're
having fun they're living life fully
they're improving themselves they're
successful they had all the qualities
and traits that I wanted and so by me
surrounding myself with those people I
started to become like them I started to
change my habits my patterns my
behaviors my beliefs everything about me
changed because a big net change of an
in an environment you know it's easier
if it said than done
you know to really change your peers
because you know if you gotta have a
group of friends you've been with for so
long it's really hard to leave that and
changed that but it's a decision
obviously that you have to make and now
honestly it depends as well on on how
important this is for you you know if
it's a real big problem for you and
you're trying to break this habit of
drinking and it's gonna promise
destroying your life then obviously
maybe you want to find it you can prove
the friends that you know aren't really
into drinking and stuff like that so I
mean it's totally up to you the decision
that you want to make but ultimately
having great friends great peer group
that is just support you no matter what
and support you and your changes in her
life and encourage you
that's ultimately the best because
you're always gonna be evolving you're
always going to be changing you're
always gonna be becoming a better person
and you want to make sure that your
friends the people that are in your life
are growing as well they're becoming
better as well as that you guys go on
this path of becoming better people
so hope this video helps you in some way
and let me know how it goes and sort of
email thanks for watching
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