how do you stop comparing yourself to
others great question one is looking at
the root cause of why you compare
significance in your life which is one
of the six human needs I've talked about
this before there's certainty there's
variety there's significance there's
connection and love there's growth and
there's contribution we all have these
needs but we value them differently
there's certain needs that we value more
than others there's a hierarchy so when
you value significance more than love
more than variety more than growth more
than contribution then you deal with the
symptoms of that which is comparing
yourself to others so comparing yourself
to others is never gonna make you happy
and that's the problem with over valuing
significance when you over value
significance you're never happy because
you're always comparing yourself there's
always going to be someone further ahead
than you so you're gonna always feel
insignificant whenever you do feel
insignificant oftentimes you try to
bring other people down or you just kind
of feel very insecure and unhappy and
that's a challenge with it so valuing
significance in society it's like what
eighty percent of people value and it's
what's marketed and sold to us is that
you're not enough you're insignificant
so therefore you need this product you
need to be more beautiful skinnier more
muscular more successful more money in
order for you to be significant
so we've bought into that and we've been
we've been influenced by society in that
way and it's incredibly destructive but
it's good for success right because a
lot of people their success is fueled by
insecurity they feel like they're not
enough and they want to prove other
people wrong and want to be significant
and make more money so that they'll be
respected and loved by everybody else
right
so for success it's good but for
happiness fulfillment and what you're
going through right now is horrible it's
not sustainable so that's why you have
to over you have to value other needs
more than significance that don't have
that downside so for example growth no
downside contribution no downside in
fact by you focus on being a giver
people will make you significant that's
been my experience I give I create
content value I don't have to work at
significance every day
I have someone thanking me and loving me
and appreciating me so I feel
significance from being a giver in my
life
love as well that's that's no no
downside in love oftentimes they're
trying to be significant but what you
really want is love right you think that
by having more success or be more
popular or being skinnier more
attractive more followers than other
people are going to love you and it's
not true it's an illusion so that's the
root cause that you have to reprioritize
what you're valuing and what's important
for you and it's a scary and hard thing
for a lot of people to do because it can
it could actually require changing your
entire life and changing what you're
doing and how you're spending your time
the other thing is what is trigger like
understand again it comes down in the
meaning so comparing yourself with other
people can actually be useful it depends
on the meaning you're creating from it
if you see someone that's further ahead
to new more successful more money more
attractiveness better body whatever it
might be there are some people they
create a meaning wow that's great that
they're showing what's possible they've
paved the way for me and I can learn
from them and be inspired by that by
their example and make it be a role
model and that can be a positive in my
life and bring me up other people they
see that person and it means that I'm
not good enough I am you know I'm
struggling in my life and you know I'm
not where they are and I'm less than
them and I'm insignificant based on the
meaning so again what meaning do you
give it whatever meaning you give it is
gonna be your reality and how you feel
it's all about your interpretations of
these things so that's the other thing
another thing is just cutting that out
if it is triggering you this is kind of
like the band-aid temporary solution
stop going on social media stop
consuming those things that are making
you feel that way now
you're gonna miss out from the
inspiration you can get and the growth
that you can experience from it again
it's more of like a band-aid solution
but it is an option then the less if you
are getting caught up on that a little
bit too much
you
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