IF YOU WANT TO FINALLY BE HAPPY... (WATCH THIS) #Best Education Page #Online Earning

hey what's up life masters this is

Stefan James from project life mastery

to day I want to talk to you a little

bit about happiness something that we

all want a lot more of right I'm sure if

you're watching this right now then you

want to be happier you want a better

quality and experience of life just like

I do and I believe everyone else on the

planet wants the same and I want to

share a few things that I've learned

over the years that have really changed

my life they've really increased my

levels of happiness and many of you know

my story years ago back then that's in

high school I used to struggle I was

depressed I was even suicidal at

different times and I struggled with it

for quite a number of years going

through phases of just unhappiness in my

life to where I am today where I'm happy

to say that I'm the happiest that I've

ever been happiness for me is a default

way of being it's not something that I

have to do it's just who I am and I

created that I conditioned that and I

want to share things that I've learned

so make sure that you watch this video

in full I think you'll find it

invaluable and will really shift your

mindset mentality and things I might say

to you that you might already know but

often times I'm sure you know we forget

we forget and it really doesn't matter

what you know it really matters is what

you're doing what you're living if you

follow my work than you know that so

let's dive in where does happiness come

from now I know you just know the story

you know the cliche that happiness comes

from within yet most of us we forget

that right most of us we are conditioned

to believing that we have to do

something have something or experience

something in order for us to be happy in

fact that's how most people in the

Western philosophy the western part of

the world that's how we live our lives

because marketing is all designed to

make you believe that you're not enough

the way you are right they're gonna make

you feel inadequate or insecure that

you're not attractive enough and so you

need this beauty product or you need to

look like this or you know you've got to

change your body and by transforming

your body and having that six-pack or

look in a certain way then you're gonna

be happy or maybe it's making more money

or having that house or that car or that

watch or that boyfriend a girlfriend or

having those kids or you know one day

when you retire that's when you're gonna

be happy or when you get that house of

your dreams that lifestyle of your

dreams you can go on that vacation that

at that point you're gonna be happy and

so from

of us were conditioned by society

including myself I get influenced by it

all the time where we believe that

happiness is something that comes

outside of us it comes from external

things and that's the biggest lie that

there is and it's something that we

always have to resist in our lives and

remind ourselves out because if you're

watching this right now and you believe

that whatever goal that you're pursuing

whatever vision that you have that that

is gonna make you happy then I've got

some news for you you're gonna get there

I have no doubt that you will I believe

that you can achieve anything you set

your mind to but you're also gonna have

the horrible experience that I've been

through myself at different times in my

life where you get to where you want it

to be and have what you thought would

make you happy and sure enough you get

there and you realize that that's not it

you realize that you're not going to be

that much happier by having that buy

that car or the house or anything

external that happiness truly does come

from within happiness really what I

define it is a state of mind a state of

being it's something that we can

experience right now in this moment as

you're watching this video right now you

have the capacity the ability to be

happy right now regardless of your

circumstances regardless of where you

live regardless of how much money you

have in your bank account regardless if

you're single or you're having a

relationship or you're with someone that

might be even abusive regardless of the

job that you might have you might be in

a job that you hate regardless of all of

that I believe that you can be happy and

there's been enough evidence and proof

throughout history and throughout

society of role models that have proven

that I mean if you go back to Viktor

Frankl who wrote the book man's search

for meaning if you haven't read the book

I highly recommend it

Viktor Frankl you know ended up being

taken away and locked up in a Nazi

concentration camp Auschwitz and he

lived in an environment he was actually

a psychiatrist but he lived in this

environment for a period of time of

suffering all around him I mean could

you imagine how horrible it would be to

have that fear every single day of being

gassed or you know not having the food

or not having the shelter or being

freezing or your butt off and

around you giving up and dying and

suffering from disease and all the

horrible things of that environment and

what made Victor Frankl famous and what

he discovered and wrote his book on was

that regardless of your environment and

your circumstances that you can still

find meaning and happiness and he

actually studied that environment those

that did go on and survive versus those

that gave up that just believed that you

know this is their fate this is their

life and if you can find joy and meaning

and happiness in that circumstance even

though you're in this external world of

Hell you can find that internally then

I'm sure what you're going through right

now you can still find the happiness

within you know I've also had that

unique experience of going to parts of

the world where extreme poverty

third-world countries where they

literally have nothing I mean I kid you

not if you follow my content my vlogs

you know that I've been involved in

building houses and schools around the

world I been to Ethiopia for example and

funded some schools there and had the

experience a few years ago of going to

Ethiopia I did a whole vlog on it and

we're out in the middle of nowhere you

know around this community where they

literally have nothing they've got to

walk an hour each day just to get water

you know there's school at the time was

just basically like an a bird's nest I

mean it's just sticks and twigs and you

know they're suffering from different

diseases and whatnot and one thing that

have just kind of been fascinated by

being in those environments though is

seeing how much joy and happiness yet

they still have you know you see a group

of kids and they don't have the iPads

and the iPhones that the kids that today

have in North America or they don't have

all the toys that my nieces and nephews

have they just literally have a ball a

soccer ball and yet the kids are running

around and having a great time and you

know the parents and the the adults

they're they're they have such an

incredible sense of community is such a

credible family life connection to one

another connection with their Creator

their spiritual well-being and as I've

spent time I've actually lived in those

communities as well I've also done that

and built houses for families in

Nicaragua and El Salvador and been to

those places and stayed and lived

the family is in a little home that they

have and literally it's nothing compared

to what we have I mean they don't have

access to the Internet like we do they

don't have access to the same food and

water and the basic needs that we have

and yet by being in that environment and

seeing in some cases how they're happier

than people that might live in North

America that might have seemingly at all

yet the people that often live in the

North American culture have the highest

rates of depression the highest drug

addiction you know addicted to alcohol

and things of that nature so you know

oftentimes I question him wonder is the

Western Way of living is that really the

healthiest way is that the way that's

going to lead to the highest levels of

happiness and sometimes the old-school

way of living that we've evolved from in

so many ways you know how people used to

live in tribes and whatnot yet in many

cases they're happier than a lot of

people in North America so there's

people out there that I can promise you

this they have nothing literally nothing

material what we much worse off than you

are but yet they're grateful and they're

happy every day I can promise you that

that does exist a lot more than what you

think but at the same time it can also

point out examples to you of people that

have it all people that are millionaires

multimillionaires and even billionaires

people they have all the fame all the

people that love them and yet they're

depressed they're miserable a lot of

them they might be going in and out of

rehab a lot of these celebrities that

you might look up to that have

everything and yet they struggle I mean

how many celebrities have you known that

have committed suicide or that we've

lost a drug addiction you know or the

billionaire's out there that have it all

and yet they kill themselves because you

know they're just unhappy with their

settles in their lives and so if you

look at the extremes

I really believe what it comes down to

is happiness comes from within and it's

something that you can be and experience

right now in your life now there's a few

things I want to share with you on this

number one is I believe that happiness

is a state and it's something that you

can condition in your life the see we

all have these different emotional

states that we experience every day and

we have a deep

Way of being a natural state if you will

this default way this natural state is

something that we've conditioned though

the more that you've accessed certain

emotional states that's become habitual

for you the become habits and that's

your default way of being so for example

when I was back in high school and I

struggled with depression and I

struggled with anxiety and a lot of fear

in my life the way that I the reason why

my life was that way and I experienced

those was because I had conditioned

those so every day I was focusing on

certain things that made me feel that

way that made me feel shy and insecure

and depressed I was focusing on

everything that was missing from my life

I focused on how I wasn't good enough

and I allowed the opinions and the

naysayers and the haters and the bully

is all those people out there to

influence my psychology in my mindset

and imprint those in my life as well as

my parents and certain trauma and

experiences that I went through I

allowed all of that to influence me and

it conditioned myself to be a certain

way and the more often that I accessed

depression or anxiety or fear or shyness

the more that I was strengthening that

the more that was getting stronger and

more my default natural way of being and

so to get out of that was challenging

because to be happy was different than

how I was right it was breaking out of

that mold and that pattern that I had

and what I decided to do that changed my

life and most of you know it is I

created a morning ritual I realized that

we are what we repeatedly do every

single day then if every single day I

start off the day and I make happiness a

must in my life I make it import more

than anything else more than going on my

job more than spending time with my

loved ones more than anything else I

prioritized me and my own happiness that

pretty soon it might take a while but if

I did that every single day I

conditioned that then it's just a matter

of time before I rewrite that old

programming and conditioning and replace

it with something new so imagine that

you know if you will that depression or

anxiety or these negative emotions anger

they're kind of like a pattern that if

you have a CD or a record this burned a

pattern on it that if you take that CD

of that record you put it in a CD player

or a record player then it's going to

a certain song it's gonna read that

pattern but if you take that pattern and

you overwrite it you overwrite it with a

new pattern and you put that in the CD

player it'll play the new pattern and

that's really what you have to do you

have to overwrite you have to rewrite

this old negative conditioning this old

default way of being these habits that

you've developed emotionally to replace

them with more empowering ones of

happiness and joy and gratitude and what

you really want

so my morning ritual I've shared many

videos on this I've even created a

course on this and created a book on it

as well it's available for you on Amazon

but I started doing habits and rituals

every single morning one of them would

be gratitude forcing myself every single

morning to focus on what I'm grateful

for in my life and I don't care where

you live your circumstances there are

good beautiful things in your life right

now that you could focus on and

appreciate and feel that can

dramatically increase your happiness

just by focusing on it so for me just

focusing on the fact that I have another

beautiful day of my life that right now

today is a brand new day it's a clean

slate it doesn't matter what's happened

in the past it doesn't matter today is a

brand new opportunity to be do you have

an experience what I want that's

powerful that's a gift that we got to

appreciate every day just appreciating

the fact that I'm alive that I have a

body that's working and functioning that

there's plenty of people that are much

worse off than me physically and I've

got my arms in my legs I've got my

ability to see I've got the ability to

hear there's people out there that don't

have that and when you ever use contrast

like that you know most of us we compare

ourselves people further ahead than us

and often we feel worse about ourselves

but if you contrast the opposite way and

you compare yourself to people worse off

than you then you can often feel a lot

better about yourself and you got to

realize that there's a lot of people out

there that don't have what you have that

you are gifted that you are blessed or

maybe the fact that right now you have

access to the Internet that you can

watch this right now on youtube or on my

podcast

that's pretty miraculous and that's

pretty incredible if you think about it

right now we have these phones and these

devices where we have more access to

information today than the president of

the United

states did twenty or thirty years ago we

are so abundant and blessed right now

but all you got to do is focus on it and

at the beginning if you've been living

in depression if that's been your habit

guess what you built the habit in the

pattern of focusing what's missing in

your life what's not gonna work you know

all the negative stuff and you've got to

overwrite it guess what when you

overwrite it with this it is gonna be

hard it's gonna be challenging you're

not used to it

your brain is gonna say this is all

it's gonna find the ways to get

you back to your comfort zone of who you

used to be because it doesn't want to

change change is stepping into the

unknown

your brain is afraid of that and that's

why you have to push yourself no matter

what you've got to make it a habit and

ritual and if you do it for 30 days

you'll start to see the benefits and

feel the benefits of this of a happier

life

so gratitude is incredibly powerful even

for me I asked myself questions every

morning and I asked myself questions

that direct my focus on the good of life

you know there's plenty of negativity

out there in the world that's always

getting our attention right I mean then

you turn on the news you turn on let's

go to Facebook you go to YouTube you

can't escape and avoid it you know

there's plenty of things that you heard

about the horrible terrorist attacks or

the killings and the deaths and the

murders and the rape all the horrible

things that are out there that are

designed to get our attention because

that's how our brain is pre-programmed

it's to focus on the negative most often

and so we have to override it again and

that's why I think having a ritual every

day where you focus on the good is

incredibly powerful so I ask myself

questions like what am i happy about in

my life you know what am i happy about

and by asking the question it forces my

mind to come up with an answer so man

I'm happy the ability that I have to

communicate with you right now

that I don't even know who you are or

complete strangers but I have your time

I have your attention for me that means

the world and I have the opportunity to

reach you and impact you hopefully and

inspire you and uplift you that's a

pretty incredible thing that I'm I'm

incredibly happy about and I'm happy

that I have the ability to build a

business to create the life that I want

the dreams that I have I can pursue it

and I can actualize it and turn it to a

reality I'm so happy about the freedom

in my life I'm happy both my family my

friends the people my life that love and

support me right if you focus on it you

feel it and the more you focus on it and

take the time to feel the more it's

gonna get stronger you feed that it's

like building a muscle that that becomes

your default natural state your way of

being you know another one of my

favorite rituals I do I've mentioned

this before is smiling

I think smiling is one of the best acts

that you can do that reflect the level

of happiness that we wants and by

forcing yourself to smile each day you

know even more throughout the day if you

want that's going to condition you to

being a state of happiness and remind

you of that sometimes you've got to fake

it till you make it sometimes you get to

act as if you got to act as if you

already are that happy and abundant

person and by doing that enough times

again that becomes your default it

becomes who you are

so our ritual for that has been

incredibly powerful and you override the

conditioning you do it every single day

you do it not just in the morning but

throughout the day that whenever you

catch yourself going back to who you

used to be you remind yourself you catch

yourself to focus on who you want to be

and be that right now in this moment

before you know it you'll be that person

you'll have an experience those levels

of emotions to happiness that you want

so that's one of the most powerful

things I can share with you because I've

done rituals now for I guess 17 years

almost every day of my life and it's one

of the most powerful things that's

cultivated and shaped Who I am to being

Who I am today and experiencing the

emotions that I experience I'm just

conditioning every single day for years

you do that enough time then it becomes

a habit for you becomes natural you

don't have to think about it I have to

do anything as no willpower or

discipline for it it's just it's just a

habit you know just like depression is a

habit just like anxiety is a habit it's

creating is more empowering habits in

your life

I think another very powerful thing that

I've learned has been meditation you see

our brain is not designed to make you

happy your brain is designed as a

survival mechanism to keep you safe and

protect you too bro to prevent threats

from occurring in your life and to avoid

them at all costs for the dangers of

life and that's what has been incredibly

useful for us to survive

as a species up until this point but you

got to realize and realize the purpose

of your mind and your brain is for

survival not for happiness and so

therefore it's your job to direct your

mind on what is gonna make you happy

and now I've often used the metaphor

that your mind is like a century on a

ship right the century on the ship the

job is to look out and watch out for

things that are potential threats so

your mind the century is gonna be like

oh look out for this look go for that be

careful you know it's gonna always warn

you of these things it's like an over

worried mother you listen to to it too

much it's gonna drive you crazy but you

got to remind yourself that you are the

captain of the ship that you direct it's

great that your brain and your mind is

providing this useful information for

you but if it's not relevant you don't

need to listen to it you've got to

direct your mind instead on what you

want and what you want to be an

experience and meditation I think is

incredibly valuable because you learn

how to calm your mind how to make it

calm all that thoughts that you have

those aren't really your thoughts

they're not unique they're not original

they're thoughts that come from your

lower self most often but we also have a

higher self our best self and when you

understand those thoughts

they don't serve or empower you that you

don't have to listen to them that

they're not who you are you don't have

to associate with it you can learn how

to detach yourself from it that's what

you learn through meditation is how to

observe and not attach to these thoughts

that you might have just to allow them

to pass and I was very resistant to

meditation for many years but it's been

one of the most important things that

I've learned is how to calm my mind and

disassociate from those thoughts and

really how to be present because most of

our thoughts they're thoughts that come

from the past or in the future and they

take us away from the present moment the

present moment is all we have right it's

it's it's here it's right now and our

thoughts past or future we've got to

remind ourselves that that we don't have

control over that yet that hasn't

happened yet that right here in the now

is the most important thing and so

meditation helps you be more present

helps you be in the moment more often

and in the moment you can experience how

enjoy you know Eckhart Tolle is a great

teacher of this as well as Wayne Dyer

and as many great teachers out there you

can learn the power of now by Eckhart

Tolle is a great book as well as a new

earth and what not to so there's an

incredible resources out there I've

often reminded even of the story of

Prince Siddhartha Buddha right he was

grew up in a wealthy family and he grew

up in this environment of seeing all

this wealth and riches in his life but

he actually found that he observed that

most people were suffering most people

are unhappy and he was fascinated by

this and so Prince Siddhartha went out

on a journey by himself he left that

environment and he decided instead to

give up all of his material possessions

and he'd go out and he you know would

meditate and explore and everything and

tried a lot of different things but he

discovered again that nothing material

is gonna make you happy the happiness

and enlightenment can come from

meditation it can come from just being

present and appreciating being grateful

you know getting rid of all that noise

that's in your head and that's another

piece I think we need a ritual for we

need a ritual for that as well for

meditation in our lives and then another

piece I'm gonna mentioned for you too is

you got to be careful in creating rules

an order for you to be happy you see if

someone asked me today on Instagram they

said Stefan what do you need to do or

what are things you do every day to be

happy and yeah you know meditation and

things that are things that you can do

but a lot of us we have belief systems

in our head that we believe that in

order for us to experience a certain

emotion like happiness we've got to do

something or all of these things have to

have have to happen if you happy so for

example you might believe that Nora for

you to be happy you've got to make a

certain amount of money you could have a

secure a job you're gonna have a man or

a woman in your life you've got a you

know be a certain weight or body fat and

there's all these rules that we have

you've got to have a productive day you

got to go to the gym that day all these

things then once you check the list of

all that then you're finally happy and

it's all bs that's all rules and stories

that you've created in your head that's

making it incredibly hard and

challenging for you to be happy when

really you can be happy right now in

this moment just by deciding to you know

for me I shift a lot of my beliefs that

I had that we're holding me back and I

realized you know what I don't

eat anything to be happy just like we

don't need anything they feel like

right I could feel happy just by smiling

I can feel happy just by waking up in

the morning or I can feel happy just by

remembering all the good that exists in

my life all the good that exists in the

world and that makes me happy and when

you have a small criteria for happiness

you're gonna experience this so much for

versus the person that has all these

rules and beliefs of what has to happen

or if in them to feel happy so often you

got a you got to check-in and shift some

of those mentalities as beliefs that you

have that might be holding you back now

some of you might be thinking well

Stefan you know my unhappiness is my

Drive it's my motivation right it's what

pushes me every day by believing that to

be successful that's gonna make me happy

well you know that might be a motivator

for you but it's not sustainable it's

not lasting in fact I'd actually

challenge you on this and help you

understand instead you see you're right

now achieving to be happy what if

instead you happily achieved

I would actually challenge you to say

that if you're happy right now every day

you're much more likely to become

successful and achieve your goals versus

when you're unhappy and you know you're

using that as Drive to achieve your

goals see successful people aren't happy

happy people are successful so happiness

is something that you start with that

contributes to your success in your life

it contributes to I mean think about it

I mean the happier that you are the more

likely you are to take action in your

life to have more energy because

happiness gives you energy in your life

to pursue great things and take more

actions the happiness is going to

attract people into your life whether

it's business partners or opportunities

or a man or a woman I mean they're not

gonna be attracted as someone that's

miserable and depressed right at least

the person that you want to attract

that's not the kind of person you're

gonna be able to attract quality

customers that are also happy by you

being miserable and depressed every

single day that doesn't make any sense

right you're not gonna be able to it's

gonna be a lot harder at least to create

the body that you want if you're

miserable and unhappy because when

you're miserable and unhappy and

depressed are more likely to eat food

that it's not supportive of your body as

a way to change how you feel to escape

to connect with yourself

I know I had been Jeanie just disorder

many years ago right but the more

happier you are guess what you don't

need to use food as a drug you don't

need to go to alcohol you don't need to

go to those things as much because

you're already filled up you're a glass

that's full and overflowing versus a

glass that's empty looking to fill

yourself up from everything external

around you instead of filling yourself

up internally we don't need those things

those things are just extra bonuses that

can amplify experiences of your life but

it's not needed by you by anyway so

happiness comes from within and it's

something that we got to practice every

day and we have to build it and

cultivate it and I think one of the best

ways is through a ritual so listen I

could go on and on about this but

hopefully these disciplines these

mindsets these different ways of

thinking and living can really shift

your life as it has for me I mean my

life is regardless of anything on the

outside of achieves some pretty

incredible things and experience

incredible things but honestly none of

that really matters once you experience

it once you experience it it gives you a

temporary satisfaction it gives you a

high for a period of time but then it

goes away

and I'm always reminded how happiness is

such a simple thing that comes from us

deciding to focus on what's good in our

life and conditioning that and that's

all that matters is cultivating that

with from within and not buying into the

story the the illusion that it comes

from anything else so listen if you're

looking to create a ritual in your life

I'd love to support you with that I've

actually created a course called excuse

me called morning ritual mastery I'll

link to it below for you I've also got

my excuse me I have my morning ritual

cheat sheet as well that I'd love to

send you for free it goes into some

rituals and I've got a book on Amazon

called 67 morning ritual habits for your

mind body and spirit I'll link to those

below for you as well but this is a way

that I want to support you to create a

ritual in your life because if you don't

have one yet you're missing out if right

now your ritual is you wake up and

you're stressed in the morning you're

not happy you're tired you know you go

to your phone you go to your computer

your reactive through the day then man

I've been there before to you and it

sucks it's gonna hold you back in so

many ways instead of being proactive and

giving yourself the gift that you really

want need which

is the time and attention that we got to

give ourselves to make ourselves a

priority you know make ourselves a

priority and our happiness a protein or

life more than anything else and by

doing that you'll reap the rewards not

just emotionally but also on the outside

world to the things that you want will

be attracted into your life and

manifested a lot easier by focusing on

your inside world first and that will

always expand out and influence the

outside world around you because it's

infectious it's contagious so I'll link

to some of those below if you enjoyed

this give me a thumbs up subscribe for

more videos and I look forward to seeing

you again soon take care

you

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