hey this is stefan from
projectlifemastery.com and today i want
to talk to you about something that
destroys a lot of people's happiness a
lot of people's joy a lot of people's
fulfillment in life and it's a pattern
it's a pattern that I've observed the
most many people including myself I'm
not perfect I'm not better than anyone
I've indulged and a lot of these
negative patterns that affect in my life
want to bring up in this video because I
think I could add a lot of value to you
and other people today on this and help
you make a shift to having more
happiness more fifth element in your
life which is something that I think
that we all really want deep down inside
and the pattern that I'm talking about
is the pattern of judgment judging
others and criticizing others now I
think as human beings it could be
natural to judge other other people
right and oftentimes a lot of this comes
up you know comes up in our head you
might be for example walking down the
street or see other people and observe
other people but you might have these
negative thoughts come up in your mind
you might be thinking you know for
example you might see someone to judge
them on how they look or how they dress
or you might judge them for being
overweight or underweight or you might
judge them for how they sound you know
you might be watching you right now in
this video and judging on how I sound or
how I talk or how I dress or communicate
or whatever it might be you might judge
someone else on their behavior you know
what they're doing or what they did you
might judge them you know whether you
know for example I'll talking to a
client of mine the other day and you
know other people that are on the road
that you're driving with right maybe
someone cuts you off or someone's a slow
driver or fast driver and you judge them
for that right you have this energy
these thoughts that come up and you
criticize them for that behavior it
might be how other people are living
their life you might judge and criticize
other people for not being as healthy as
you are or not you know some of the
decisions that they make and think of
why would they do that or you know maybe
that person meets another human being
and they get married to that person
within three months and you judge them
and you think that they're stupid and
idiots for making that decision so fast
it's not going to work out I don't know
what it is I'm just kidding you got some
examples but it's judging other people
and I think what you gotta understand is
that where this comes from is your ego
okay that's all it really is your ego
which thrives off of significance and
feeling like you're more superior than
someone else because when you're judging
another human being and you're
criticizing them you're essentially
putting them down and you're elevating
yourself you're making yourself feel
better about yourself and you think well
now that person's overweight or that
person dresses you know in a very
eccentric way and has too many tattoos
and piercings and they're you know you
judge them for that or you judge them
for whatever it is but essentially what
that's doing is making you feel better
about yourself
it's elevating yourself which really
stems from insecurity and is really a
projection of your own unhappiness and
lack of fulfillment in your life I
really want you to understand that that
when you judge and criticize other
people you're not happy because I've met
a lot of happy people because I've
studied happiness the happiest people
that I know they never judge they never
criticize they just love everyone
they're just so they're so happy they're
so overflowing with joy and happiness in
their life they want to bring everyone
up they want to make everyone else feel
better it's not about them
it's about serving others and amplifying
how they feel and they exude that
positivity that joy that happiness it's
contagious it's infectious to everyone
else around them and maybe you know
someone like that in your life that just
it's just so happy in that way but also
maybe you know someone that when they're
around them you know you feel like
they're judging you or criticizing you
in some way and you don't feel good
about that right it affects your
relationship with other people as well
so have that awareness number one how
the awareness of number one are you
judging other people are you criticizing
them and oftentimes people do that in
their head you know you might have these
negative thoughts that come up have that
awareness of it that that's just the ego
that's coming up that makes them wants
you to feel like they're better than
everyone else or that your way is the
right way or that you know everything
and you know
is what's right and this is what's wrong
and of course we know that life isn't
that simple as many ways of doing things
and I have the spiritual belief that as
human beings you know we're all equal
for all brothers and sisters on this
planet we're all part of the same
humanity and ultimately yes everyone
looks different and has different
behaviors but people are not their
behaviors people are not how they decide
to dress or how they decide to look or
what they decide to do or how they live
their life that human beings were more
than that we're spiritual beings and I
can go on and on about spiritual maybe
we'll talked about that in another video
but I'll give you guys a bit of solution
something that guys can help you guys
with that I'll share that with you guys
a little bit later on in this video
but number one have that awareness okay
are you judging are you criticizing
number two understand that this is a
stealing and you're cheating yourself
and your own happiness and joy because
what I also want you to understand is
that when you judge and you criticize
other people I can promise you that you
judge and criticize yourself much
harsher and really it's a lot it's
really unfair to judge someone else
because we've all made mistakes we've
all screwed up we've all you know done
silly and stupid things that if you get
yourself out of your own your own world
for a moment and step into someone
else's shoes you can have a better level
of awareness and understanding and
compassion for another human being how
could you judge someone else for making
that decision maybe buying something or
eating that junk food or whatever it is
when we both know you've also done that
yourself all right you've indulge maybe
not the same extent or degree but you've
also maybe done something that other
people have disagreed with or things
that have been mistakes right and so
again understand that you can't really
judge it's not fair to you because
you've also made mistakes no one's
perfect and I think also the judgment
and criticizing other people comes from
a perfectionist mentality which is part
of the ego as well where we have to be
perfect and when you have a
perfectionist mentality about yourself
you project that to other people and you
expect other people to also be perfect
other people also to be a certain way
because you believe that your way is the
right way right and again time and time
again but I can take that trail and
leave it always back to an insecure
person and someone who deep down inside
is not happy and fulfilled with their
own life so understand when you judge
when you criticize when you point the
finger at someone else
you've always got three other fingers
pointing back at you and you better make
sure that if you do point the finger at
someone else that your hand is clean and
no human being again has never made any
mistakes so what's the solution to this
how do you overcome this pattern and
this is something I've worked on a lot
in my life and it's really helped me
become more loving more happy change my
entire life guys I can't I can't even
begin to tell you how and I'm not sure
if everyone's open to this or not you
know because sometimes no on the
internet there's always people that are
haters and critics so negative and you
know my solution to this and my solution
to dealing with people like that is
understand I'm not going to judge them
for that that's what I used to do I said
think all these people are idiots and
they're unhappy and they're unfulfilled
I don't have because again that's the
ego coming up if I start to judge other
people think well they you know they're
criticizing so they're unhappy in their
life that's still making me feel better
about myself making me feel more
superior because that's the ego coming
up again so what I view instead is
whenever I deal with someone like that
or even when I have these thoughts come
up for myself what I always try to do is
my trigger is to always send love send
love because love is the ultimate
emotion the ultimate spiritual emotion
in life I think that we're beings of
love I think our Creator unconditionally
loves us and I think that love is is you
know one of the ultimate solutions in
life to peace and harmony and happiness
and well-being and so other people you
know if I catch myself I just send them
love I just either put my hand on my
heart
and just send them energy and love
oftentimes in my head I'll interrupt my
pattern just say I love you I love you
if I catch myself okay that person's you
know acting a little bit funny or mid
they're homeless person and you know I
might catch myself judging them for
something you know I remember for
example at one point sure some stores
because I I used to see these homeless
people and they would you know ask for
money ask for change but then end up
going and buy drugs with it or buy
alcohol with it and sometimes these
homeless people - they would have you
know it's like they'd be homeless but
they would do certain things that I felt
just weren't really fair you know for
example some homeless people would kind
of lie or make up things just to be able
to get some money or exaggerate it you
know some homeless people we didn't have
a dog and a pet and I think unless level
how would I start judging them for that
and think you know that person you know
well why are people you know why they do
and it's why they an adult why they're
lying deceiving people in this way or
they have a dog but they can't even take
care of themselves but instead I catch
myself and realize you know what no
one's perfect you know everyone has
their experiences of life and I've never
been in that experience where that
person's been in their life so I can't
really you know I can't really judge
that person for that so instead what I
do I just send them love and I'll just
in my mind never that comes up I love
you I love your brother I love your
sister because again I believe that
human being that we're all brothers and
sisters were all related we're all
connected in some way I remember you
know I used to judge people ice at one
point my life be a strict raw foodist
and vegetarian diet for about it almost
a year or so and I was really into it
and I remember I used to judge other
people for eating animals or eating
unhealthy I go to the grocery store
right and see someone you know buying
dairy products and meats and all these
unhealthy foods and they'd be overweight
and I started judging them for it but
again that's my ego coming up my ego
wanting to feel more significant and
better than the other person or
believing that my way is the right way
so instead I would just send them love
you know I love you and and I think
that's the most important thing it's not
about being right you know as the saying
goes you give their be right
or you could be happy you could be right
or you can be in love and you know it's
letting go of that need of being right
which again is the ego you know
oftentimes they bring that up in
relationships right oftentimes couples
they fight and you got to ask yourself
do I want to be right to my relationship
and have the ego win and have that that
selfish victory or am i more committed
to the well-being the harmony of the
relationship and would I rather be in
love and I don't know about you guys but
I'd rather be in love I think there's a
great quote by Martin Luther King he
said that I choose I'm paraphrasing he
said I choose love because hate is far
too much of a burden to bear and I
choose love hopefully you decide to
choose love in your life and happiness
and just send love guys send love you
know one exercise you can do if you want
something practical walk down the street
I do this all the time it's a lot of fun
walk down the street you know people are
passing you're by every person that you
see just in your mind just send them
love just say I love you looking in the
eyes I love you they're going to walk
about past you they're probably not
going to notice you but next person walk
by I love you next person that walks by
just say I love you just say that in
your mind you have to see it verbally
you don't have to say it out loud but
just in your mind because what happens
is when you give love you also feel it
you feel it inside yourself when you
give to others you're also practicing
the abundance mindset where you realize
that there's more than enough there's
more than enough you're not threatened
by anyone you're not insecure you're
coming from a higher level place a place
of a higher level of consciousness in
your life and I think if you can do that
number one I mean not only does it
change your life your happiness your joy
because you also get understand there's
physical consequences of judging and
hating and criticizing because it makes
you more stressed it makes you more
reactionary it feeds into the
insecurities your cortisol goes up you
store more fat it's not good for your
health it's just not good for anyone
right oftentimes negative comments you
know it really hurt it can hurt someone
else other people maybe they don't
they haven't practiced self-development
now have a lot of confidence so you're
also part of the problem in the world
the problem of hate and negativity for
other human beings in the world and and
you're supporting that instead of being
a solution to it so when you decide to
live your life it's love and happiness
and no one's perfect you're not going to
get this right away but just be aware of
this and try to be proactive with loving
and giving other people and living and
Happiness when you do it will not only
change your life but also your
relationships with other people I
believe energetically we send energy to
other human beings there's a ripple
effect that occurs the more that you
give the more you serve other it's like
I almost like a karmic effect I don't if
you believe in that or not but it just
makes the world a better place and
oftentimes when government in that place
you're going to compliment other people
you're going to praise them you're going
to encourage them and you know they're
going to reciprocate that back to you
and you're going to attract a higher
level people and beings in your life
that are more on this also happy and
cheerful as well so that's my
encouragement for you guys that's my
advice for you and hopefully this can
help a lot of you guys in your lives is
to be a force for good in life be a
cheerleaders be a be a fountain not a
drain and practice you know practice
just giving serving other people you
know I'll give you one more thing I was
talking to someone the other day and I
put out a great video on my channel
about scarcity versus abundance if you
haven't watched that video I highly
recommend that you check it out but one
person expressed to me they have a
scarcity mentality on social media where
they see their other friends and other
people in their life doing these certain
things and they never like their photos
right like on Instagram they never like
you know because and they express you
know part of it for them internally is
they feel insignificant they don't want
to they don't want that person doing
better than them they don't want to
praise that person encourage them
because the more successful they become
the more they feel insecure and jealous
and again that's all insecurities you
got to recognize that that's all
scarcity mentality and so the practice
that I had for that person again giving
love but I mean if you can you know a
express it the better so I said you
won't listen
on your Instagram or social I want you
to like everyone like what you know
don't judge them don't be insecure
threatened by it like them like
DoubleTap their photos and hit the
thumbs-up button on their videos and and
encourage them support other people be
that person because I can promise you
when you are that person you're going to
get more that comes back to you more
people are going to support you and love
you as well and you're going to get more
of what you want in your life
now I remember hearing this I'll wrap
this up soon but I hear in this story or
this is this is a good truth that some
people they see something that's rich or
more successful more attractive more
beautiful they judge and they hate that
person just because of the money they
have or the success or the car they
drive or their looks or their body or
whatever it is right just just just that
that's what that symbolizes
makes them feel threatened in a secure
here's the thing though guys if you're
like that if you drug and criticize
other people that are more successful
than you to have what you want you will
never have that never because you're
creating you're creating associating
pain to having what you want yeah you
know you're basically taking some of
that successful and putting them down
and criticizing them and judging them
insecure and jealous for that and
disliking them for that you're not going
to be able to attract that in your life
instead you have to bless that which you
want unless when you see someone else
that's more successful new that's
wealthier than you as happier than you
bless them because I can guarantee
you're going to attract that in your
life at a much different level than you
heating on that ok that's a different
mentality that's the abundance mindset
alright so I gave you some practical
things so hopefully can help you guys
but you know it's a work in progress
have that awareness number one practice
love sending love guys again love is the
ultimate I love you guys I don't even
know many of you but I love you you know
I don't need to know you to love you
just send my love my energy towards you
you know I love you just for being here
and watching me and even if you don't
like me I still love you you know
because I don't believe that people are
their behaviors they're more than that
and I believe that deep down every human
being is good every human being has at
least a side of them that's good and
pure and you know I try to bless every
human being so bless you guys thank you
for watching this video if you enjoyed
it make sure that you hit the thumbs up
and leave a comment let me know what you
guys think and I'll see you guys in the
next video
take care
you
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