hey guys Stefan here from
projectlifemastery.com and this video I
want to talk to you a little bit about
responsibility and taking ownership in
your life
now I mentioned another video blog I
attended a great seminar called the
Society of protectors it was a immense
event on masculinity being a more
honorable man keeping a word and being
responsible and I've heard a lot about
this from other mentors that followed
Tony Robbins Jim Rohn you know a lot of
the self-help self-help teachers out
there talk about this I'm a big believer
on this and I've talked about it before
on my youtube channel but I want to
expand a little bit more on it because I
think it's really really powerful now we
all basically uh ourselves in
some way ok that's just the reality of
blame things on external sources of why
certain things didn't happen and you
know sometimes our is so good
and believable that other people buy
into it but we also buy into it as well
and maybe you know BS isn't the right
word for you you know Tony Robbins calls
it your story you know we hold on to
this story that we kind of fabric rate
and we build in our lives that you know
about certain things and that story is
basically an excuse from the reason
about why certain things didn't happen
you know why you weren't able to
accomplish review this and maybe your
story or your BS is I didn't have the
time or I didn't have the money or there
was traffic or this happened to me
because of this person my boss my family
member my parents my brother my sister
the country the economy etc right we
have these things these external things
that we blame and these excuses and
reasons that we have now what happens is
every time that you do that every time
that you blame or you have an excuse or
you BS yourself or have a story you're
giving away your power or basically
giving you giving away your power you
have no ability to change what your
current circumstance is you have no
power to change your life because you're
putting it on out something outside of
yourself that you have no control over
right you have no control of the
external world in any way right you have
influence at best but you have a hundred
percent control over yourself over your
own mind their own thoughts your own
actions your own behaviors in your life
you have full control over that
you know you might be influenced by the
outside world but you're ultimately the
person that decides everything in your
life right so you are responsible for
everything in your life everything that
happens to you you know you're
responsible in some way now you might
not 100% agree with this and I can
understand that because it doesn't feel
good to take responsibility in some
cases you know there might be some
horrible things that might have happened
to you in your life that have been
really bad and turn up you don't want to
take responsibility for it and you just
want to hold on to that blame you want
to hold on to that resentment because of
this person or because of whatever you
know and I can understand some people
aren't ready to really let go of that
and claim that responsibility but I
really learned that I'm responsible for
everything in my life and you are too if
you want to take on the stoppe roses for
a minute just kind of hear me out
everything you're responsible for and
you know I'll give you an example let's
say that you're overweight okay and a
lot of people not all but a lot of
people will have some sort of reason or
excuse or story but why they're
overweight they might say it's because I
don't have the time to work out
they might say because you know really
healthy food is really expensive and I
can't afford it or they might say it's
because of my genetics you know this is
just the way that I was built or because
I'm big-boned or because of my parents
or because of the fast-food industry or
you know etc they have some sort of
story reason BS or something but again
every time that you're deflecting you're
you're pointing the finger at all these
other things is excuses you have no
power for you to change and really what
it comes down to is you taking control
and finally admitting to yourself that
you are overweight because of you that
you're failing in your life because of
you I actually posted something from Jon
Taffer from the guy from bar rescue who
I love I posted this on my Instagram a
little video clip where he says that the
common denominator of all people that
he's seen that if that are failing is
because of them of excuses they come up
with excuses and they're feeling because
of them and they blame the weather you
know the reason why their bar isn't
succeeding or their employees or the
economy etc but really
what it comes down to is you and you're
the one that's in control is responsible
for everything in your life and it's not
until you get to that point when you
finally can admit to yourself and put
all those stories aside and say you know
what I am responsible in some way and
when you claim that and that again gives
you the power to change and do something
about it in your life to take the right
actions to to you know do what's
necessary to get out you're out of that
situation and lose weight maybe some of
those stories are true to some extent
but those aren't the defining reasons
about why your life is the way it is
maybe that had an impact or an effect
but it's not a hundred percent true so
getting to the truth and getting to two
you know take that responsibility that
ownership is powerful it's a really
powerful thing but it doesn't feel good
because most of us don't want to blame
ourselves because we it makes us feel
like we're a failure it means to us feel
like we're not enough but again if you
can get to that point and finally admit
to yourself hey you know what on this
way because of me then that can at least
get you in the right direction to make a
change I'll give you some examples from
my life you know I was shy introverted
video game addict I didn't have any
friends no girlfriend when I was in high
school and stuff and I
I just blamed everyone I blamed that
it's just the way that I am I blame my
parents my dad you know the bullies in
school I blamed I had all these excuses
these blame so I can't do this because
of this etc it wasn't it I finally
looked in the mirror and admitted to
myself that that this is not acceptable
that this is not who I am
that you know I'm the one that created
the life that I have that I'm
complaining about you know I'm the one
that's responsible that everyday is
sitting in front of the computer not
doing anything with my life I can't
blame everything else but that's what
I'm doing has how I'm showing up and so
it wasn't until I looked in the mirror
and admitted that to myself and just
kind of broke down crying and tears that
all of a sudden I hit rock bottom and
when I hit rock bottom my life changed I
hit rock bottom I finally made a new
decision a new choice that I'm gonna do
whatever it takes to change my life I'm
gonna do whatever it takes to change
myself and become whatever you know
ever I mean to be fulfilling my
potential as a human being I'm gonna
stop settling in my life and telling
myself these stories that's what got me
to change and got me on the track of
self-development so sometimes we need
that is it's painful to hit rock-bottom
it's hard but man is it powerful right
that's really what set me on the course
of my life that one little decision and
one little moment changed my life
forever
I'll give you a more recent example as
well and this is something that got
great help with that the seminar that I
attended I have a really good friend of
mine I've known for years lived with
them traveled with them great friend
number of years ago I introduced him to
Kindle publishing and I was having great
success making great money online and I
told him about it you know I wanted to
help him a lot of my friends knew and
stuff as well and you know got him on
the track he started doing some Kindle
publishing for a little bit but he
didn't really prioritize that he
traveled you know Southeast Asia the
Philippines countries like that and he
was making money
you know while he was doing it but he
just neglected it and and then about a
year later he came back to me and he
wanted to get back into he want to
commit to he saw even more success that
I was having and then launching K money
mastery the success of my members and
people that were going through it so he
wanted to know more so I gave him access
to my course K money mastery for free
there's my friend I want to help him out
you can invite him a part of my Facebook
group my community that I had and
established as well and you know he got
it you know committed himself to it
started having a bit of success and
everything but still wasn't you know
super successful with it or anything
like that and then he came to me for
coaching and you know he wanted me to
coach him and help him out and
everything and but he didn't have any
money to pay me and so I said okay you
know don't worry friend you know you're
my friend I'm gonna help you oh I'm
gonna coach you and sure enough I did I
really shouldn't have because I was
really busy at that time in my life as
well and I was just way too overwhelmed
but you know because he was my friend I
wanted to help him out I wanted for him
to be successful at this as well so I
coached him he got you know Skype calls
and everything went over his Kindle
books shared you know some tips and
strategies and how he can improve things
etc and you know he took action with
what I shared with him and he also you
know learned from other sources and
and stuff like that as well but he
started having a lot of success you know
amazing amazing success and I'm really
proud for him and you know he's done
great things he put in the work I don't
not responsible for what he did or
anything like that but you know because
obviously he's the one that put in the
work I just kind of wasn't one to
introduce this to him Sharon and kind of
helped him along the way and everything
but he started having great success and
what happened was unknowingly that I
wasn't aware of I found out later was he
became you know popular in my Facebook
community and everything and I even you
know shared its success on my with my my
customers and say hey look what this
friend did and everything as an
inspiration but what happened was he
started coaching members people that
were part of my facebook group people
that are my customers of Mikey money
mastery program and he everything he
started doing coaching behind my back
and these are customers that I paid
money to acquire to obtain that are part
of my business because I do coaching and
stuff as well but he started offering
coaching at a very very cheap rate and
working with these people behind my back
and I kind of felt that desk a little
bit unfair because I'm the one that has
invited him as part of this group we
have rules in the group that not to
solicit not to promote yourself products
services etc but he started before
ending them and building these groups
with them etc and started doing coaching
from that so it's really kind of taken
away business and the business that I
created and what I've invested to do and
anyway anyways what ended up happening
was you know I I didn't even know about
this
but eventually he wanted to create the
self development program for Kindle
publishers and he asked me about it and
I said and you asked if I'd support him
with it yeah sure man is totally cool
I'm happy to help you boat with him
maybe you know if it's good I'll promote
it to my members my customers and
everything as well I just said just make
sure it's not conflicting with what I'm
doing because I'm not gonna promote
something that's basically teaching
Kindle publishing and stuff because
that's already my business I'm not gonna
promote something that's similar to that
in any way right so if it's
complimentary I have no problem with
that so that's what he told me was gonna
do and you know mean this friend me
staying in contact we're doing daily
accountability calls etc and everything
and he ended up working with this coach
was helping with he asked for me to help
him coach him stuff but I was too busy
with coaching how to create the product
and the stuff for it so he found another
coach that was helping him out through
this process and so what happened was
with Moe again me even knowing about
this he was creating a Kindle publishing
course that was similar to mine
they basically teach me how to publish
books on Kindle how to make money from
Kindle publishing and he kept it from me
wasn't honest about it and he was doing
this and I was until I had certain
friends that came to me and said hey
stuff you know what this guy is doing
and stuff and I said yeah I need to
create a self development thing and said
no you know he's competing with you he's
creating a similar course to yours and
everything and I even had friends that
shared you know he was telling this
stuff too that shared this information
with me and everything and so I
confronted him on it and he admitted to
it that he was creating something like
that as well but he had his own kind of
story his own reasons and justifications
why he was doing the right thing and he
believed because he was serving God he
was serving greater purpose and and that
I just had a scarcity mentality and
stuff and I was uncomfortable with it
because I said listen man like I
introduced this to you I brought you in
to Kindle all that sort of stuff and I
feel like you know we're friends and
everything you shouldn't go and create
something that's identical when I'm
doing under those circumstances and
everything so we had a disagreement and
that's fine and anyways long story short
he ended up blocking me from Facebook
and Skype so this person's blocked me
out of his life I'm no longer friends
he's gone on to do this and everything
and during this time I had a lot of
anger towards him I had a lot of blame
and some resentment for him as well
because I felt I was betrayed by a
friend this person didn't respect me you
know he just saw the dollar signs and
you know I just felt like this wasn't a
character thing to do it really kind of
revealed a lot about this person's
character integrity I had a lot of
discussion with mutual friends of ours
and they've tried to communicate with
him as well but he's just very closed
off to hearing anything my perspective
or other friends and people that we both
mutually respect but I was holding on to
um right and he is wrong and it wasn't
until I really took responsibility for
it because I was blaming him before but
it was until I took responsibility I
realized that I'm responsible for this
in some way I'm the one that authored
all this
whole thing and it's not I can't blame
him and point the finger at him because
I'm the one that that created the
circumstance that created this situation
I'm the one that decided to give him
access to my course to introduce him to
Kindle publishing you know maybe I
should have treated him like a client
and made him actually pay for it
you know maybe that'd be a different
circumstance or you know it came to me
for coaching I was being a people
pleaser and I was being generous but
maybe I could have charged him for it or
maybe I could have you know had him
signed a non-compete thing you know
that's one thing that we have in our K
money mastery courses I've met with
lawyers and stuff we have terms
disclosure people can't compete and take
information that I'm teaching and and be
able to profit from it in any way so you
know by creating their own courses and
things like that you know Saab I've
learned a lot of valuable lessons since
then and also this person honestly was a
little bit kind of off in a head in the
sense that he was a very an extreme
personality and so knowing that as well
was a little bit of a red flag that I
should have been aware of because he's
very a religious person and he's not
able to make rational decisions about
things already kind of had some blinders
on he's not able to see outside of that
inside of his you know religion and
things like that so that's all things
that I'm responsible for I'm the one
that's created and manifest in this
whole situation and by blaming him yes
there might be some truth to that but
that's not why this all occurred and as
long as I keep blaming him I'm gonna
stay in anger i'ma stay in resentment
and I'm not gonna be able to you know
change I'm not gonna be able to make
progress it's just always gonna be
holding me back that thought or that
emotion for that person in some way so
it wasn't until I let go of then I
claimed ownership of this and that say
hey you know this is my fault I'm
responsible for this I gotta take 100%
responsibility for what's happened in
the circumstances I can learn from it as
well but you know I'm just gonna move on
move forward with it and do what's best
and just continue following my mission
and keep serving for people so in
situations like that as hard as that was
you have to look at how you authored and
how you created the events of your life
how you maybe you know the job that
you're in well you're the one that
decided it apply for that job and work
for that job you know for me I get you
know people out there that don't
like me online right that's the nature
of being a public figure putting
yourself out there some people don't
like your videos some people disagree
with you
some people hate you that's totally fine
that's something I'm responsible for I
can't blame that person because I'm the
one that made the decision to do this as
a career I'm the one that made the
decision to create YouTube videos some
public to share my thoughts my beliefs
so that comes with the territory
you know so you can't blame these other
people you've got to take responsibility
that you're the one that made those
decisions that led to this event
occurring so that's why I say that
you're responsible for everything in
your life and I think you know it can be
very challenging and hard to do but if
you can actually get to that point and
claim responsibility and ownership of
everything you'll have power you'll have
power in your life you'll have control
of your life and it will give you the
ability to move forward and make the
right decisions to change your life but
again the more that you blame excuses
avoid deflect responsibility you're
giving away your power and you have no
choice you have no ability to change
your life you have no control so just
want to leave that with you guys looking
at your life looking at you know how
your biessing yourself how your abuse
biessing other people how you're coming
up with your excuses your stories or
limiting beliefs and confronting them
confront it's painful it's it's hard to
do I get that but if you can do it again
it's gonna change your life so I really
want you to look at that and hopefully
this video just kind of my experience
has kind of opened you up and allow you
to look at your life in a little bit of
a different way so thank you for
watching this video please subscribe for
more videos like this and I'll talk to
you soon bye
you
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